from whence come I

Thanks to Christine for this one.  I played with what it asked for as I suspect most people do.  I didn't mean for it to be as negative seeming as it seems to seem, but maybe I'm just looking at it the way I tend.  At the same time, if does come across as negative I have to remind myself that I didn't want to spend too much time with each line.  I wanted this thing to come out of me in a way that I felt was being honest.

And then I remember and must accept that I over analyze everything, that I edit a lot, that I want to present things in a way that I'm at least okay, if not happy, with.  I'm never altogether happy about it.  But it's done, and that's all I can say for now.


And all that being said, I give you the thing below.  It's called Where I'm From and is basically  a set of writing prompts.  It wasn't really fun, but if you want to play along go HERE.

I am from old toys from older brothers and out of style clothes.
I am from the white ranch style house where in the summer, if you would just lie still in bed you wouldn't be so hot and could get to sleep.
I am from the dogwood, the red clay, the pines and kudzu.
I am from setting the table and sitting down as a family for sandwiches and listening to Larry Munson on the radio while watching the game on tv with the sound turned down, from being one of many brothers so that we're all always and forever a Hullboy.
I am from the not really talking or being heard.
From because I said to.
I am from the same pew every single service, Sunday morning and night and Wednesday night, and missions conference and revival, men's prayer meeting.
I'm from South Dekalb and iced tea being the first thing I ever learned to make in the kitchen.
From only ever really knowing as family my parents and brothers, a couple of cousins and their parents, from a grandmother I never really remember liking as much as I liked that a night spent at her house meant a certain freedom.
I am from a random assortment of pictures at my parent's house as well as the new collections on the internet as the family I have moves into the twenty first century.

book meme

A certain Ms. Contemplator did this meme, and it's been ages since anyone else in my little segment of my venn diagram of the blogosphere did one. It's almost like we all did all the good ones and then quit. If you're so inclined I suggest THIS song opened in another tab as your soundtrack for reading. It's Leonard Cohen, and you're welcome.

1. To mark your page you: use a bookmark, bend the page corner, leave the book open face down?
Only book marks ever! I even have favorite bookmarks. My top fave is actually a piece of brown paper that came wrapped around Momma's first and fanciest sushi knife.

2. Do you lend your books?
I hate to. I've lost too many books that way, and I'm probably a bit selfish with my books, but I love all my babies.

3. You find an interesting passage: you write in your book or NO WRITING IN BOOKS!
It's not that I'm against writing in books, though I am, and I don't do it.

4. Dust jackets - leave it on or take it off.
I take it off when I'm reading the book. It gets in the way, and it's too easy to tear it up. When I'm done reading the book I try to remember to put the dust jacket back on.

5. Hard cover, paperback, skip it and get the audio book?
I prefer hard covers because they last better, but really the book is the thing in the end. I don't do audio books, though I'm not against them, but really books are meant to be read and held and smelled. Audio is for music, and audio book listening is music listening time wasted.

6. Do you shelve your books by subject, author, or size and color of the book spines?
Currently I shelve them by author and by suitability for children versus unsuitability for children. Of course shelving also involves shelves, so we won't go into the fact that none of the stacks of unshelved books are unshelved.

7. Buy it or borrow it from the library later?
I usually do the library thing because I'm broke, but if I had money just falling out of my ass you can believe I'd be boring the kids at the bookstore and hitting up some dot coms. I love having books. I love having entire book cases full of books in my house.

8. Do you put your name on your books - scribble your name in the cover, fancy bookplate, or stamp?
I don't even put the kids names in books they are given as gifts. I just don't write in them at all. It's not that I'm against it as such, but I kind of am.

9. Most of the books you own are rare and out of print books or recent publications?
I own books for a variety of reasons. I have random text books and books that were gifts. I have huge piles of books that were bought used so that we could give the boys a big pile of books for Christmas. I have some old and likely out of print books. I have some books that I'll never read and should just get rid of.

10. Page edges - deckled or straight?
Does deckling mean that uneven edges thing? or the sparkly gold thing? Either way I find it hard to do straight stuff, so I'd choose to think of the other kind as not deckled thank you very much.

11. How many books do you read at one time?
One, because more than that means I'm not giving the book its due. Also I'm easily confused.

12. Be honest, ever tear a page from a book?
no, I'd never deface one of my own books, and if I wanted a page bad enough I'd just steal the whole damn book, or buy it. Yeah, buy it! That's what I'd do.

If you choose to do the meme, let me know.

courier

If I were a font I'd be Courier. My friend C at My Life Was Changed By A Train deserves the thanks for this one. Take the test HERE to be judged by a machine and given a font and a possibly inaccurate description of what that font represents and why you are that font.

Apparently:

Like a typewriter-font on a computer, you go proudly against the grain. You're not afraid to let your opinions be known, and for you, anything is better than being known as "conventional."

That's good to know, and I must say, that Courier is a lovely font. Is the idea of retaining fonts from one medium to another really so novel?

But is any of that true? It seems the sort of thing that should make me think about my life, whether I am really what this website likes to call Courier and whether it's the sort of person I want to be.

I don't know that I think of myself as especially going against the grain, but to some extent I've always felt that I basically do and would tend to be a little proud of it. And I'm quite opinionated and often annoyingly so if you know me in real life. Perhaps I might blog a little that way as well, but in virtual world you have the benefit of not dealing with actual me in all my abrasive glory.

Also, I changed my blog font to Courier. Did you notice? And what was it before? Does changing the font now change it only for this post? Will all my past posts now be Courier as well? How about the future posts? It's all so much to not give a shit about!

meme the food yo

Thanks to Meg of Get In, Hang On for the softball. I love easy memes, because it makes it so easy to come up with a post, and this is a fun one. It's all about food, baby, so here we go.

What's the last thing you ate?
I whipped up a couple packages of ramen noodles and added some leftover chicken and frozen peas. I can go a little crazy with ramen if I have a couple of extra minutes, or I can just make them plain, or I can land squarely in the middle as I did tonight.

What's your favorite cheese?
Cabot makes a really nice chipotle cheddar that's really nice, and in general I'd have to go with cheddar as a fave. I also like Manchego and really good Parmesan.

What's your favorite fish?
I don't like much fish at all, but I do like tuna. It's good and fun to play with. I can also do scallops usually, and I love calamari when it's done well, but it's so easy to fuck up if you don't know what you're doing.

What's your favorite fruit?
Probably my fave fruit is mango, but it has to be ripe enough, otherwise it's really not good at all.

When if ever did you start liking olives?
I'm up and down with olives. I tend to like them, but so many of them are new to me and can be a bit much. I'd say, if asked, my favorite is the basic Kalamata.

When, if ever, did you start liking beer?
I'm a bit of a lush, and I tend to go with beer almost exclusively. It was in Charlotte, NC somewhere around 12-13 years ago, that I started drinking better beers than the typical American stuff, though I tend when on a budget to stick with Miller High Life.

When, if ever, did you start liking shellfish?
I really only like scallops, and I've liked them since I first had them, but like anything, they really have to be cooked right, because they are so easy to ruin.

What was the best thing your parent/s used to make?
My mom's lasagna was my absolute favorite food growing up, though pretty much everything she cooked was good. Her biscuits began my lifelong love of them, but I tend to use Alton Brown's recipe these days. It's actually not that different from my mom's, and while Alton calls for half shortening and half butter I just use butter.

What's the native specialty of your hometown?
Atlanta, where I grew up, doesn't seem to have a native specialty that I can think of. If you want to go with my current home of Knoxville then I would have to guess something like mets and beans or a full house which is a tamale and chili dish. These were popularized in my town's early days, and they aren't as readily available now, but that may the closest we have to a native specialty. Anyone showing up from around these parts is more than willing to argue this point and give me something different to check on.

What's your comfort food?
Probably beer. It gives me comfort. Other than that I might go with biscuits.

What's your favorite kind of chocolate?
Dark, dark and dark.

How do you like your steak?
I like them just past rare, almost medium rare, and I think the only cut of meat worth eating as a steak is a ribeye with a nice bit of fat around the edge, the fat a little crispy from cooking.

How do you like your burger?
Medium rare to medium, mayo, mustard, ketchup, bacon, cheddar, tomato, onion, dill pickle slices, messy and dripping down my fingers.

How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled usually, but I also love them fried till the yolk is firm and the edge of the whites is brown and crispy, and I love boiled eggs as well, but the latter two tend to give some irritating gas.

How do you like your potatoes?
Cooked, all sorts of ways, fried, baked, mashed, roasted, stuffed . . .

How do you take your coffee?
Strong with maybe half a spoon full of sugar and just enough half and half to lighten it a wee bit.

How do you take your tea?
I'm southern, so I like it cold and just a little sweet.

What's your favorite mug?
My coffee mug was in the house when we moved in, is rather large and has two finger wholes for a handle. Beyond that I like a large glass mug full of a hoppy pale ale.

What's your cookie of choice?
Chocolate chip or oatmeal, raisin, walnut. It's a toss up. I'll also take walnuts in the chocolate chip if it's all the same to you.

What's your ideal breakfast?
usually coffee, but given the chance I'll load up on eggs and sausage and bacon and grits and biscuits with gravy. I won't argue with some ham. A nice scone is always nice if a bit simpler.

What's your ideal sandwich?
I love a Reuben, but I don't like crappy Swiss cheese, so I usually opt for whatever other cheese is available wherever I happen to be.

What's you ideal pizza (topping and base)?
Basic thin-ish crust with pepperoni and green olives or ham and pineapple.

What's your ideal pie (sweet or savory)?
Hands down a good pecan pie is perhaps the greatest food ever created. I'd kick a nun in the cunt for a good piece of pecan pie.

What's your ideal salad?
Okay, here's my southern coming out again, but I don't give a shit so long as there's ranch dressing. I can eat and enjoy all sorts of salads, and I do love vinaigrette if it's well made, but give me ranch if you want me to be really happy.

What food do you always like to have in the fridge?
beer, milk, butter, soy sauce, ranch, mustard,

What food do you always like to have in the freezer?
I don't use the freezer a whole lot honestly. It's always nice if there's some ice cream, but other than that the only thing that regularly goes into and out of my freezer are chicken parts. We always have some amount of chicken parts so that we can always be a very few hours away from having stock.

What food do you always like to have in the cupboard?
ramen, peanut butter, graham crackers, steel cut oats

What spices can you not live without?
oregano, thyme, kosher salt, paprika, chili pepper (not powder because I can make that) cumin, coriander, peppercorns

What sauces can you not live without?
soy, I like to have some fish sauce tucked away in the fridge as well and Sriracha

Where do you buy most of your food?
Food City

How often do you go food shopping?
every couple of days. We tend to decided at the last minute what's for dinner, so we are often running to the store for last minute things. We try to keep the pantry stocked to the point where we don't need more than the basic ingredients for any meal

What's the most you've spent on a single food item?
I don't buy really expensive stuff usually. What I have spent money on are things that are just hard to find in a small town such as lemon grass. We pay a decent little bit for coffee, and I've spent over ten dollars on a six pack of beer before. Other than that it was probably a turkey or some fish that Momma got for something.

What's the most expensive piece of kitchen equipment you own?
I'm not counting appliances, so it would probably be the Kitchen Aid stand mixer, though it was a gift from my parents. Most everything I have was either a gift or hand me down.

What's the last piece of kitchen equipment you bought?
Probably the hot air popcorn popper I got for Momma last Christmas

What piece of kitchen equipment could you not live without?
Probably my knife. I can make do with lots of stuff or without lots of stuff, but a good knife can do so many things, and there are so many things you can't really do without a knife.

How many times a week/month do you cook from raw ingredients?
Almost daily, though there are a few things we get for convenience sake.

What's the last thing you cooked from raw ingredients?
I made a sausage and mushroom frittata and biscuits. I finished the leftovers for lunch today.

What's your favorite thing to make for yourself?
biscuits or scones. I know I seem a little one track with the quick breads, but I do love them so.

What meats have you eaten other than cow, pig, chicken and turkey?
elk and lamb, didn't like the lamb really, and that may be about it

When's the last time you ate something that fell on the floor?
I have no qualms about eating things that fell on the floor, depending of course on the floor.

What's the last time you ate something you picked in the wild?
um . . . perhaps never, though the church I grew up attending had pecan trees, and I may have eaten some of the pecans, but that's been nearly twenty years, give or take a couple years

Place the following cuisines in order of preference (greatest to least) Italian, sushi, French, Chinese, Indian, Thai:
Thai-absolutely love Thai food when I've had it
Indian-I'm putting second, but it's been years since the Sunday dinners at the Krishna temple
Chinese-I'm a sucker for soy sauce and what Chinese food I've had. I'm thinking my experience may be somewhat less than authentic, but it's really hard to know
Italian-cured meats and olives and roasted peppers and bread oh my
French-I think we're more used to a lot of French styles as their cuisine has so influenced western cuisine
sushi-texture issues and dislike of nori make it nearly impossible for me to enjoy sushi, but I want to love it because it may the single prettiest food

Place the following boozes in order of preference (greatest to least) whiskey, vodka, tequila, gin, brandy, rum:
Tequila-I love good tequila, chilled without the training wheels
Rum-mmmhhmm mojitos-spiced rum is also really good with sweet, iced tea
Gin-gin martini? yes please, though it has been too long. Gin makes me goofy
Vodka-is a giant meh for me because the whole point in distilling vodka is to make it as clear and flavorless as possible. At this point the only point is to get drunk, and I'm enough of a lush without insisting on it.
Brandy-really, I associate brandy with the smell it leaves on your breath, think bum asking for spare change in your personal space, and it's only not last because . . .
Whiskey-ick, gives me immediate heartburn. I don't mean some heartburn. I mean whiskey goes down, heartburn comes up, immediately.

Place the following flavors in order of preference (greatest to least) garlic, ginger, basil, aniseseed, lime:
Lime, ginger, garlic, basil, anise

Place the following fruits in order of preference (greatest to least) cherry, apple, orange, watermelon, pineapple:
Watermelon, apple, orange, cherry, pineapple

Bread and spread:
Have we covered this already? Biscuit with butter or apple butter or a mixture of mashed together butter and molasses

What's your fast food restaurant of choice and what do you usually order?
A) Chic-fil-a and I go with the chic-fil-a sandwich, waffle fries and sweet tea, or
B)Krystal where I tend to order the bacon-cheese Krystal, Krystal chik and fries, though their fries are only good when they're really hot and salty.

What are the three best dining out experiences you've ever had?
1. Probably Cha-Cha's which is sadly no longer open, and sadly, Momma and I were able to watch their demise as the food lost all relevance to the tapas bar that they were when they were good. The standout menu items were the calamari and the wild mushroom risotto
2. Brasserie(forgetting the whole name)-Christmas party for the sushi bar where Momma used to work. Standouts there were the escargot which I had for the first time and the calamari which they served with a tomato jam
3. Possibly, and this may be kind of gay, but the day I had to run errands and Cute Boyfriend went with me and took me for Mexican. Nothing really stood out other than getting to hang out with him and having most of the day to do the hanging out.

What's your choice of tipple at the end of a long day?
My new favorite beer would be Sweetwater Brewing Company's IPA, but at the end or the beginning or in the middle of any day, long or short, I'll generally be happy to enjoy a beer or two.

Favorite cookbook?
I still stand proudly by the Joy of Cooking. It's a great all around cookbook, especially if you know how and when to fix the recipes. Aside from that I love just reading any cookbook Julia Child wrote because I just love the voice she carries over into her writing, and I don't mean her actual voice voice.

Got any favorite food blogs?
Yes, David Lebovitz is probably the very top of my favorite list.

What's the next thing you'll eat?
If I can manage to get up in time tomorrow I plan to make some apricot scones, and given the state of my stressed out tummy, that needs to be the next time I eat, and I do need to be up in time to make scones, because Cute Boyfriend will be here and deserves them.

And I'm not tagging anyone. This damn meme didn't seem nearly so long when I was reading it at Meg's or at Frankie's. Go visit both those lovely ladies and see how they answered, then go back to your blog and play along. It's a true delight, and it's fun to see how others answer.

She served me up a softball, threw me the easiest of bones, and I failed for over ten days to craft my response. Sadly, I've failed to blog often enough that I may actually be forgetting how to type. My WPM is lower than frog balls.

First we thanks Molly for the meme tag, because even though I sat on it for over a week, I am using the post fodder she gave me. I'm going to answer the questions, though I won't post or follow the rules. It doesn't seem right to tag others when I've been so lax in posting myself.

So on with the questions. I'm given the option of changing any quesions I want, but along with not posting or following the rules I'm going to not give myself the option of making it easier for me.

1. How many songs are on your ipod?
I don't have an ipod, but I do use itunes when I listen to music using my computer, and for me that's close enough. I'd love an ipod, but I'm not yet willing to pay for one myself. Since I do have isomething I'll admit that I have 1072 songs in itunes, and that translates to 2.4 days of music. That's somehow different though mostly the same.

2. What music would you want played at your funeral?
I don't know. I'd much prefer that the people at my funeral after party would listen to music that helped them remember good things about me, but more importantly for my funeral is the full body bong I want my funeral attendees to be sucking at.

Full body bong equals having a pothead taxidermist make my body into a bong. Believe me, I've thought of this, and here's the proof. You will hit me (suck the intoxicating smoke) through my mouth. The head of my erect penis will be the bowl (the place you put the pot.) The carb (the part that, when released, allows outside air to force the intoxicating fumes into your ready face) will be my butthole, properly sealed with your thumb until you are ready to inhale the sweet reefer.

I really do want the full body bong to happen. I've dreamed and schemed of this for many years. Please promise that you will smoke weed through me if you are able. Also please wait till I'm dead.

3. What magazines do you have subscriptions to?
At one time Popular Science, National Geographic, but sadly I believe we've let them run out. There were more at one time, but the other ones were allowed to run out. I don't even remember anymore, and that seems sad. We really did used to get a couple of good magazines.

4. What is your favorite scent?
There are a few. Roasting meat and vanilla are a couple of food based scents. There's a certain combination of cow, landfill and wastewater treatment that smells like the place I grew up. There's a certain musky something that guys' balls get that drives me crazy. But perhaps my favorite scent is old books and old pages.

5. If you had a million dollars that you could only spend on yourself what would you do?
I'd buy myself a car and a restaurant and then I'd travel somewhere with my favorite boys. I'd buy up a bunch of cd's I've wanted as well and probably a new pair of black leather Converse.

6. What is your theme song?


7. Do you trust easily?
I do, and I get fucked over pretty easily. I also have great things happen pretty easily when I can stop not trusting long enough to get fucked over. It's a fine line between gullible and cynical with more good than not when it happens.

8. Do you generally act before you think or think before you act?
I feel as if I'm doomed to act first and think/question later, but I'm also more than likely to put way too much thought into anything I stumble across.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Smallish petty things are messing with me differently these day. Not seeing a certain cute boy is not fun. My job isn't the worst thing I've dealt with even when it seems like it. I could make lists of how not bad it is or how bad it isn't, but it still isn't and is respectively.

10. Do you have a good body image?
I'm realizing lately that I just might have a body image. I don't know how much that concept has really occurred to me in the past. I think I'm okay, but my problem isn't my body so much as it is that I just don't do shit to be more healthy. Maybe I do have a skewed body image.

11. Is being tagged fun?
It really is. It's proof that at least one person you sort of know thinks you suck at least a little less than you feel you do.

12. How do you spend your social networking (i.e. Facebook, etc.) time?
My Myspace account is basically for anyone who knows me and is a place I'm out. I usually just skim a couple of bulletins, maybe check out some bands, try to keep in touch with friends who aren't as close as I'd like.

Facebook is a place where I'm not yet out and is filled with family (with whom I'm also not out) a couple of blog friends and lately lots of old friends from the christian school at which I spent my younger years.

13. What have you been seriously addicted to lately?
There are no new addictions to speak of, though I've been on a bit of an energy drink bender if a bit of a tiny bender. It's all because I've suddenly not gotten as much sleep as I was, and when you consider how little sleep I get anyway. I don't generally like the nasty flavor of energy drinks, so it was nice to see that they are being made in coffee like flavors. So far, Monster Java is my favorite with Rockstar being the least.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Molly? She makes pretty babies, and she writes. She talks about red wine once in a while, though I'm personally a beer and tequila type. I'm sure she's funny and often self deprecating. She seems like an all 'round swell gal, and I'm never wrong about this sort of thing. Never!

15. What was the last song that got stuck in your head?
Right now there's a snippet of bluegrass, but I can't remember enough of the song to call it stuck in my head. Webb Peirce's Slowly and/or Wondering are the two that get stuck in my head most often lately.

16. What are your favorite items of clothing?
Probably my jeans because they are so comfortable. As it's beginning to be cooler, especially at night, I can wear another favorite, an Old Navy fleece jacket, mostly black with gray shoulders and gray stripes down the sleeves. The gray and black are separated by a bit of white something I don't know the name of. They aren't clothes as such, but I have a new to me pair of ear rings that I "stole" from the boyfriend. They are bigger than my old earrings increasing my ear hole size up a gauge to four and reminding me that, once upon a time, I was going to stretch the bastards. That was the original plan, but I fell in love with a pair of six gauge captive ball hoops and couldn't stand to part with them. I recently remembered the stretching and decided it was time.

17. Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy?
I must say that I don't. They may be second only to puffed wheat in terms of unpleasant cereals. I might pick them over Fruity Pebbles or anything with those dried up little marshmallow turds, but that doesn't really say much for the Rice Krispies.

18. What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?
Maybe buy some weed, but certainly I'd buy some nice beer for the house, and most importantly I'd do something nice for or with the boyfriend.

19. What items could you not go without during the day?
I'm trying like hell not to answer this question with cigarettes, but that may be the single thing I really "can't" do without. The sweet answer involves my phone and texts from a certain cute boy I know, but his phone was off for a couple days, and the one way texts from me didn't kill me, so, though I'd prefer not, I suppose I can live without.

20. What should you be doing right now?
I've got my coffee, and there's a load of pants in the washing machine. Momma is at work and all my favorite boys are sleeping. There's not much I should be doing that I'm not right now. Oh, sure, I could be making breakfast to surprise all those favorite boys, or I could be cleaning something around the house. I could go so far as to . . . no . . . I'm doing what I should at the moment.

Because Molly ended her meme post with a video I feel it's only fair that I do the same. The problem here is that I'm just not sure what or who. The only band/song that really comes to mind is Los Straitjackets' Tempest. I hope you like rockabilly and luchador masks, 'cuz they are the shit, and so is this.

meme-a-lamma-ding-dang

Audrey was nice enough to tag me for a meme, and I need to stick a post out there anyway, forcing myself not to go an entire week of not posting again. I'm supposed to post the rules at the top, and I had highlighted and copied them to do just that when I decided to just not do it. I'm not going to tag anyone at the end anyway. I treat it more like a Myspace survey that all your friends get when you post it as a bulletin. They can do it or not, and so can you.

What was I doing ten years ago:
As of this date, ten years ago I'd lived in Knoxville and been married for about three weeks. I was working at a brewpub, now closed, though the original is still open in Clarksville. Momma was about four or five months pregnant with Big Brother.

Five snacks I enjoy:
In honor of the new job and the fact that it sadly makes up much of my diet these days, I will give you my five favorite things that I snack on there.
-grana padano-a hard Italian cheese similar to parmesan(sort of) though I'm not sure if ours is really Italian or the same thing produced elsewhere, though knowing the owners it'll be as close as they can get. I take the vegetable peeler and shave off a nice flat piece
-lamp chop-has to be rare. I've noticed a certain love/hate relationship I have with lamb and realized it most likely has to do with rareness. This is probably also the rarest snack as lamb is expensive, and we try not to overcook it, and when it is overcooked no one really wants it.
-haricot verts-thin French green beans. We steam them just a bit so that they're perfect for salads. I love them cold with nothing but bean, though a quick toss in a saute pan with some butter and salt would be nice too.
-bread pudding-ours has dried cranberries and is made with fairly big hunks of the baguettes we use. One day I grabbed what I thought was a bite of bread pudding and got a mouthful of chunk of sugar. It was a bit much, but I ate it anyway.
-prime rib-we cook off three or four a day, and at least one is sliced for sandwiches. We reheat them when we need to make a steak sandwich using a sautee pan and a little au jus and demi glace. Often there are little chunks of the steak still there after finishing the sandwich, or I could just admit that sometimes I save myself a bite.

In the real world I am:
way more neurotic than people realize

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
My source for the tag doesn't say Five things, but Audrey put five. If someone would be kind enough to contact the meme authority regarding whether Five should be added to this line I would appreciate it.
-travel-probably the very first thing I would do is decide with Momma where we want to go as a family and then invite some friends with kids and go there and do stuff. If I had the money I would travel my ass off.
-help out some family and friends
-I want a loft downtown and a house just north of downtown, assuming after all the traveling we haven't decided to move elsewhere
-open a restaurant
-after setting up my children to be as financially independent as they want at a certain age I'd start finding good ways to get rid of the excess. No one needs that much money.

Five jobs that I've had-
-security guard-for three years, my personal record for length of time working for a single company, matched only by the pizza place
-dishwasher-do you have a Darryll's in your town? I hated that damn job. They use more random dishes than any place I've worked. So many plate sizes and bowl sizes and glasses for desserts and boats and crocks and ramekins, and the place was huge, and it turned out the general manager and the accountant were getting busy which has nothing to do with the story
-junior counselor-at a christian youth camp in western Wyoming. It was one summer and all I earned was the experience, but it was worth it, hearing people talk about driving over Gyp Crick, archways made of antlers, learning to drive stick shift driving up and down the driveway of the ranch family I spent weekends with
-kitchen manager-I thought I'd earned this job at the aforementioned brewpub, but as the GM had pointed out at some point, I was generally a bit of an ass and spoke my mind much too often. Those weren't her exact words by a long shot, but it is an accurate enough version. I was KM at the pizza place for quite a while.
-cook-the thing I do. I'm not a chef and don't generally like the title. I don't like the idea of referring to someone as "Chef" and don't plan to. I really just think it's silly, like people correcting you if you forget to refer to them as Dr. Douchely instead of Mr. Douchely

Three of my habits:
-chew my fingernails-I actually quit once, many years ago. I had nails for some time and even had to clip them on occasion. Then I started again for some unremembered reason.
-I still yell too much, though I'm really working on it and am doing it less and less
-smoke-I still enjoy smoking. I know how bad it is and that I should quit. I'm quite aware of all of that thank you very much.
-speaking of smoking, a fourth habit-when I finish writing a post I go out and smoke before coming back in to edit and post the post.

Five places I have lived:
story time childrens. This almost seems familiar, so if you've read it before you can read ahead in your book while the other children read along, or you can read along with everyone else, or you can just lay your head on your desk until we're done.
-Atlanta, GA-technically south Dekalb but the mail said Atlanta. Born and raised until one fateful evening when I got drunk at a boy's house and let a girl talk me into leaving for . . .
-Charlotte, NC-attended the pride parade within a week of moving there, had an apartment with mostly high school kids, washed dishes at Darryl's Restaurant and Bar
-Rock Hill, SC-after my "friends" sold and/or ate my stash of acid instead of selling it to get me out of jail I made new friends, one of whom was a cook at Darryl's and needed a roommate to live in a tiny shack
-Stockbridge, GA-back to Georgia for about three month and we were so ready to move back to Charlotte when a friend called needing a roommate
-Knoxville, TN-my favorite of the bunch. Ya'll come see us some time.

What do you want others to get from your blog:
I don't know quite what to say here. In some sense I blog for myself and write what I feel like. In some other sense I do understand that I'm presenting a certain something that is me to the world, and I even edit myself to a small degree out of some respect for the variety of readers I might have. I like the idea of making friends with people from hither and yon through the blog. Also, Robin Williams sucks.

And I changed my mind. I'll tag Franklin who in less than a week has gotten linked from me twice.

food porn meme

I wasn't directly tagged for this meme, so I won't directly tag more than one person. I almost did it when Rosie left an open ended tag, but I totally did it when Sue left a more openly ended tag.

1. What food do you consider the best “date” food? In other words, what meal or food item do you think is sexiest to eat in the company of someone you would like to look sexy around?

I never dated. That's what this question makes me think of. And then it leads into too much thought going into my whole upbringing (far past and far right) and the places I've been between then and now.

I'm starting to think that the best date would be finding some dark haired boy that wants to both eat my cassoulet and watch a Miyazaki movie with me and my wife and kids.

2. What well-known person would you like to share a meal with—with or without clothing. (saying whether or not clothes are involved is optional).

I'd like Eric Ripert to cook me dinner. I believe in cooking clothed, so anything else would have to find its own way in at some point later in the evening.

3. What does your perfect breakfast-in-bed look like? (Food AND the details, please. Candles? Music? Flowers? Hot tub? Dancing girls?

My perfect breakfast in bed would happen at the bar over some steaks and eggs and bloody marys.

4. What do you consider the best application of whipped cream to be?

Pie, the only real destination for whipped cream. Anywhere else it just gets in the way.

Which is not to say that I couldn't think of any number of other uses for whipped cream. So I guess we're back to the original question. If nothing I've said so far gives you an indication . . .

5. Oh-God-No, Biff, the yacht is sinking! You are sent to the galley to retrieve the food. What luxury food items do you snatch first? The champagne? The caviar? Smoked Salmon? Truffles? Chocolate? Or something else?

Seriously sinking yacht? I'm going after the least perishable items I can find, and if Biff can't get his dumb ass in gear enough to recognize this fact then fuck him. His ass can drown. My kids and as much food as I can dig up is my sole priority in this situation.

Okay, two things are a sole priority? Yes, though kids slightly edge out food, slightly.

And there you have my food porn meme. I tag Momma first and foremost, because she needs to write more. After that?

drat those taggings

I've been tagged yet again, this time by Darryl for the seven random things about me meme. I'm not sitting down with a list of seven random things in mind, as I've been unable to come up with seven things by thinking about it and wanting to. So we'll discover all this together, just me and you, my blog reading buddies.

-I think Tim Gunn is really hot, though I have absolutely no interest in dressing women fashionably or any other way.

-On those extremely rare occasions that I wear a tie, I tie them so that they hang really long, like past my belt long, but not tacky long.

-I find the ideas behind Buddhism very interesting, but I fear I'm too big a puss to actually follow the teachings. Also, I know that if I tried meditation, that right as I was starting to achieve any sort of state beyond bored, my butt would start to itch, and then I'd focus my efforts on willing the itch away. I think we all know that that doesn't work.

-After over a decade of shaving my head I've been letting my hair grow. I last shaved it sometime last year and then just never got around to it again. At some point it became shaggy enough that I went to a little barber shop up the street and got it cut, but since then I've just let it go. I never realized how curly it is, and I'm becoming a little fixated with it.

-I use the boys' shampoo/conditioner in one stuff. I tried Momma's shampoo and conditioner (not all in one,) but I don't like the extra step involved, and I don't really like the smell.

-Whiskey gives me immediate heartburn. It doesn't even need time to get into the system like coffee does.

-All my mother's children are boys. Each of us now have children, and I am the only one with no daughters.

There we have seven random things about me. There are no great revelations here, no bright shining truths for the ages, nothing earth shattering. I'm fine with that. It's not like I let you into the dark recesses of my cold, black heart either. It is what it is.

I'm still not entirely comfortable with having tagged people for the last meme, and I've debated whether to do so for this one. That the meme suggest tagging seven people makes it especially difficult. I prefer to dose my discomfort in smaller batches.

If you feel inclined to share seven unimportant things about yourself, then consider yourself tagged. You can even link back to me under the pretense that I tagged you. Or don't. I can't say that I really care, but in a good way.

just a lil ol meme

Sue tagged me for a meme, and I've really tried to do it for her, but I'm not sure I can honestly answer her questions. Question number one could be easy, and assuming I can be less tagophobic, number four may even be okay. It's two and three I have issues with.

Here's the meme itself, so you can look it over. Most people would probably easily be able to answer these, and I'll admit that I'd love to be able to as well. I'll attempt what I can with the warning that you might not like two and three when I get done. Hell, you might not even like me after that, but them's the breaks.

1) Post a note about a blogger you would like to see something wonderful happen for. Maybe one whose posts have touched your heart in one way or another. Include details as to why you admire them and what you wish for them. Be as supporting and affirming as you can.
2) Post your favorite memory around selflessness, giving, or doing for others. Something that has actually changed you.
3) As a postscript, name one thing you will actually do for someone in your life before December 31 that is born out of joy.
4) Tag 3 other bloggers who will play the game and find the spirit. Don't forget to leave a comment on their blog so they continue to share the good feelings.

1) One L and her family are real life friends. She has a daughter a little older than Big Brother and a son slightly younger. Her children are beautiful and smart and fun to hang out with. Big Brother has always enjoyed playing with these friends. The wonderful thing I want to happen is both for them as well as for kids in general.

One L's daughter is somewhere on the Asperger's spectrum. My wish is for us (all of us/huge collective everyone us) to take the time to be understanding of kids like this child. She's an amazing child to whom the world often just doesn't make sense. I can't make it make sense and don't know if anyone can. But I know that others can take the time to be helpful by not condemning or making assumptions about these children or their parents.

2) I don't know that I've ever really done anything selflessly. I'll sometimes dig a dollar out of my pocket for the bums, but I do so grudgingly. It isn't a selfless act so much as buying the chance for them to piss off and leave me alone in a nicer way than just saying it. It isn't like I'm an asshole, I'm just not not an asshole. This is an area in which I need to do some self improving.

3) See number two? I don't currently have any plans to do anything out of joy. I really have a lot of thoughts lumbering through my head currently. Thoughts of doing things out of joy only bring to mind the really hot British guy I got to kiss last weekend, though admitting that he was trying to kiss more people than his friend sort of takes some of the wind out of that sail. So we'll leave it there. I could discuss joyful acts, but I don't currently have it in me. Let me get to a better place, and maybe I can answer this whole meme somewhat more nicely some time next year.

4) As mentioned above, I'm a little tagophobic. I'm not sure why, but I really hate tagging people. Maybe it just feels like RSVPing someone without their consent and assuming a desire on their part for something they may not want. I will tag three people though, even if I have to leave this as a draft all day while I decide which bloggers I want to burden with this.

The aforementioned One L and her blog Cutting School get the first tag. If I'm going to force her into this by trying to be nice, then I'll just go all out and invite her along for the ride.

Number B is Frankie at Kitchen Table Learners. She and her son deserve a gravy biscuit every morning.

Finally I want to know what Ren of Learning in Freedom thinks, that is if she can find time. She's probably off doing something thoroughly delightful.

not surprised

You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket!

Full of hope and promise. But in the end, a cheap letdown.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

I feel like a losing lottery ticket sometimes, whatever that means.

Hat tip to Christine for this one.

suh-weet

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

• fuck (3x)
• asshole (2x)
• ass (1x)

So this is why I can't win the award I'm not mentioning. I'm rated R, though I suspect if they'd dug a little deeper into my past posts I would have gotten whatever comes after R. Maybe not, and maybe I care.

Either way, thanks to Lynn of Bore Me To Tears, who only got a PG, nyah-nyah!

man list

COD has posted a list of twenty five things a man should know as decided on by Popular Mechanics. I'd add at least one, but if you are a man reading this and don't know about the clit then there isn't shit I can do for you.

So, I'll go through the list and give you my honest judgment of my ability to perform the task at hand. You could even call it a meme wherein you lift the list of skills and post for all the world to read, you own adequacy.

1. Patch a radiator hose-my first thought would be some sort of tape. I'd lean toward duct tape, and we usually have some purple duct tape in the car as part of Momma's roller derby stuff.

2. Protect your computer-from?

3. Rescue a boater who as capsized-by screaming, "CALM DOWN YOU DUMB SUMBITCH I'M TRYING TO FUCKIN' HELP!"

4. Frame a wall-I could do the required actual physical part given a patient teacher, and I could eventually learn to make all the measuring and cutting. I even know measure once, cut twice.

5. Retouch digital photos-Google will give you Picasa, a delightful photo editing thing that seems to work for me though Momma and I are slowly learning how to use it in tandem with My Pictures.

6. Back up a trailer-I know how to back that ass up, and I know how to take it slow enough so that you figure out the steering.

7. Build a campfire-pretty much, but how primitive are we talking? I've seen the process on tv, probably Ted Nugent's reality show, whereby one can make fire using sticks and string. It's like watching Kung Fu movies as a kid. Right after you see it you're quite certain you can do it too.

8. Fix a dead outlet-not in the least.

9. Navigate with a map and compass-my only experience here would be from playing video games, but I'm sure if that's taught me nothing else it's taught me something.

10. Use a torque wrench-mostly

11. Sharpen a knife-roughly. I've generally only ever had shitty Sysco knives to deal with that had already been sharpened poorly by years of cooks before my time. And I've never personally owned a sharpening stone that was worth shit. I've actually never even worked in a restaurant with a decent stone. There was always some sad, oil slickened thing that, regardless of how it was treated, was fated never to make a true edge upon any knife ever again.

12. Perform CPR-see number seven minus the assumption that I can actually perform CPR.

13. Fillet a fish-now this one is cooking related, so having never done it doesn't apply. I've taken apart bits of animals a few times, and I know how it's done, so though I'd do a detestable job that would make Momma smirk, I could in fact fillet a fish somewhat.

14. Maneuver a car out of a skid-assuming I wasn't going so fast as to put myself into a horrible skid I think I possibly could.

15. Get a car unstuck-from what? someone parking too close to your back end? that giant hump that fucked me up leaving the planetarium that time where we actually had to rock the car? mud? snow bank? impound? to name a few I've already performed.

16. Back up data-I could figure it out somewhat with Microsoft's lovely helpfulness

17. Paint a room-is this one so hard?

18. Mix concrete-the directions are on the bag. Properly using concrete would be a better skill.

19. Clean a bolt-action rifle-I'm sure I could. It's part of the gene thing. Guns? sure I know.

20. Change oil and filter-it's been years, and I really should start doing it myself again, but yes, I have changed some oil in my time. I actually have a few bottles of old oil as part of my garage mess that I keep not getting around to recycling.

21. Hook up an HDTV-um, this one is just rondo. Read the instructions, go back out to buy the adapter that you didn't know you need, plug, twist, plug, lather, rinse, repeat.

22. Bleed brakes-I just had to remember to pump the pedal when I did the brakes on the Ranchero I used to own. Those were the days.

23. Paddle a canoe-again, religion to the rescue. I learned to paddle a canoe on the Flint River in south Georgia on boy's camping trips with the youth group. Damn I miss paddling a canoe on a river.

24. Fix a bike flat-I haven't in years, but you never forget how to fix a flat.

25. Extend your wireless network-call someone? what's a wireless net-thingy?

extrotuiticeptiveness

Hat tip to Sue for this lovely test. I'm not unhappy with the results as far as that goes, though I won't put too much stock in their being an honest picture. It is what it is.

Your Score: Hermes

33% Extroversion, 46% Intuition, 27% Emotiveness, 42% Perceptiveness

You have a very keen intellect, are interested in the facts and the truth, but you don't have the antiauthoritarian streak of The Oracle or Prometheus. You are most like Hermes. You are dependable to a fault, and you can develop feirce institutional loyalties. You can seem outwardly cold, and very calculating, and any display of emotion is extremely taxing for you. You are, above all else, dutiful, punctual, and reliable.



More rebellious types will see you as a toadie and a stiff, but they're unreliable iconoclasts anyway. You are very pragmatic, and you aren't easily distracted from the task at hand. You can be counted on to do your job without being hampered by personal interests. You are extremely traditional, and are most likely to use "We've always done it this way" and "Those are the rules" as justifications for hanging on to the status quo. Most of the other personality types will have a difficult time relating to you, but will work something out. Prometheus and The Oracle freaking hate your uncritical position regarding established rules and procedures, and they'll let you know it. You'll get along well with Atlas and Apollo if they're your boss. You'll probably get along with Icarus, too.



Famous people like you: Judge Judy, Andrew Johnson, Herbert Hoover, Harry Truman, George H.W. Bush, Ronald Reagan

Stay clear of: The Oracle, Prometheus, Dionysus, Pan, Orpheus, Aphrodite

Similar Personality Types: Atlas, Icarus, Apollo, Nemesis

Link: The Greek Mythology Personality Test written by Aleph_Nine on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

questionable meme

Thanks to Doc for this lovely meme, and I'm going to attempt to more fully participate in this one. See the end of the post for the rules.

1. Is it REALLY a sport, or is it just the girl on girl action you like?
Getting the girl on girl part out of the way first, I've never really been more or less turned on by homosexual activity from either gender than the same activity with non gay people. I am amused that so many guys can imagine lesbian sex as somehow more hot than gay male sex or as if lesbians are just hanging out, making out on the street corners and in restaurant booths, just waiting for straight guys to come and add to the action. But that's just me.

Now, the roller derby question, which maybe should get it's own post. I never expected to give a square shit about derby in the beginning. Honestly, I kind of hoped, when Momma went to that first practice, to check it out, that she would not be back, and whatever this derby thing was would not add to the time we didn't see her. I couldn't have ever guessed that the thing I thought so poorly of would be such a great thing for us. Momma, the boys, and even I have met and become friends with a bunch of great people. It's almost like we found a church that fits.

And yes, it is a sport. There is some amount of spectacle inherent, I think, in any sport that is begun basically by and for women. Spectacle is a part of derby, but the sport is real. I can't impress upon people enough that you really should google roller derby and your city/town/state. Find a league and attend a bout, scream "HELP YOUR JAMMER", buy a tshirt.

2. Did you imagine the reversal of traditional roles prior to having children, or did it just evolve that way?
The role reversal came about because Momma was presented with an opportunity. She had a better job than I did, and she was offered a promotion and a raise. We both worked in restaurants, as we had for many years, and since becoming parents, we had set up our schedules so that one of us worked days while the other worked nights. Momma needed broader availability and would work more hours, and it just made sense that I quit working to give her this chance.

We've always believed that the old fashioned idea of one bread winning parent and one bread baking parent was a sound model, but we also never bothered with traditional gender roles. Being older and more experienced as a cook, I sort of assumed I would be in the front in terms of promotions, but it turned out different. Presented with the chance, we took it.

3. Did everyone tell you that you were "too young" to get married and have kids? (God, you're still too young!)
We didn't really get married and have kids so much as get married when we realized we were going to have a kid to appease the Baptists on one side and the Methodists on the other, knowing they could and would do the math, though it was the Baptists on my side that we were able to tell of the pregnancy before the wedding plans.

The civic part of marriage is such that it makes sense for a couple to marry in order to have children or to marry should they find themselves in a family way. It also speaks of our knowledge of sex that we weren't protecting ourselves better at a time when we were not planning on having children, and this presents a good chance to remind everyone, pulling out is not birth control. So in answer to the actual question, no, because they never really got the chance.

4. Is anyone surprised that you two are still doing well and raising great kids?
People kind of seem surprised, maybe, but I'd say it's more to do with just who we are. We don't really look like a typical family, but I think that people that get past superficial ideas about who we ought to be tend to understand that we're normal people mostly.

5. Who's your favorite author?
This might be the hardest question to answer. I really love Mark Helprin, writing that is both beautiful and captivating. I also love writers that show us a peek into a different time, like Thomas Hardy or Mark Twain. I enjoy reading Julia Child's cookbooks, often not for the recipes. Another food writer I enjoy is Elizabeth David, a few recipes but lots of writing about food. I'd be wrong not to somehow fit Douglas Adams in here. Of all the science fiction I've ever read, his has opened up my thinking even beyond terms of sci fi. That doesn't really narrow down to a favorite, and that also doesn't even come close to all the writers I enjoy. I guess I just can't come up with one favorite.

The Rules of the Meme:
1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like [the food you hate most in all the world]. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You will update your [blog] with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

Now get to it, and make sure I can find your blog, because I'm not knocking myself out if you can't give me a link.

restaurataunts

This is a meme I've seen around here and there, and it's not nearly as difficult or soul bearing as that dirty Eight Things meme that floats around getting people in trouble. This is the Five Restaurants meme wherein you list and discuss your five favorite restaurants.

Apparently there are rules, link to the person who tagged you, tag other people, list the rules, blah, blah, blah. I'm not doing most of those things, but I will point out that, though she didn't individually tag people, Frankie did the umbrella tag of all her readers. I may or may not tag individuals at the end of this.

I should also admit that we haven't done much eating out lately, at least not the kind that happens in restaurants. There were a couple of places in Nashville, think corporate giants like IHOP, and I just never really want to go to places like that. It wasn't as bad as the White Castle on the way to Idiotapolis where Momma asked, "If I'm eating this, why am I not drunk?"

1. Senor Taco takes top honors for my favorite Mexican restaurant. It's not only owned and run by real live Mexicans, but the mass of diners are also Mexican. From my very first trip to Senor Taco, that Mexican people were eating there was a good sign. The food is good and the X's on the salsa bar are not to be ignored. Yeah they have a salsa bar with six to eight salsas among other things to roundout the food your way.

2. Tomato Head is always good. They were one of the very first (if not the very first) local restaurants to voluntarily institute a no smoking policy, a policy which extends to their patio, and they've never hurt for business. Tomato Head has pizza, salads and sandwiches, and they make absolutely everything from scratch. They bake the bread for their sandwiches even. They offer really good vegetarian offerings which impresses me, and I'm a proud omnivore. The food is sort of on the light side but filling. They have a fair selection of beers and wine.

3. Cha-Chas would get us in trouble if we ever hit the Powerball. Momma and I could easily spend an entire evening after evening after evening over drinks and tapas. I had some of the very best calamari ever at Cha-Chas, and Momma still raves about the mushroom risotto. The price can mount quickly if one forgets to pay attention to such details, but it's hard not to have a great time there. Their beer selection could be better, but they do have a full bar, and a good mojito chases tapas down beautifully.

4. Sunspot has great vegetarian offerings as well as great omniverous fare. The food is generally good and mostly original. I love their burger which is actually nothing special except that it's always cooked pretty much right, something few places can really manage which is sad really. Though I don't usually eat fish, the tilapia is fucking sweet, seared and served over grits with cream sauce, lovely little crawfish frolicking about.

5. I've pondered number five for a while. There's Patrick Sullivans for bloody marys and brunch. There's Urban Bar for hot wings and the patio. There's La Costa who has the best mojitos but a randomness in terms of food quality as well as a bit of confusion as to direction. There's Stir Fry, though we haven't even gotten take out from there in so long I nearly forgot them. Or then how about Downtown Grill and Brewery? The brewer always makes good beer, but the food is like whoever created the menu threw a hand full of corporate restaurant menus into the air and shot them with a shot gun and then created a standard recipe for whichever items had the most shot go through them. I should also point out at some point that I also love Cracker Barrel for breakfast, whatever time it is.

So number five is vague shout outs with no clear winner. Now I really want to go out to eat at pretty much any of these places, though a few are more appropriate for all night babysitter nights, which don't happen all too often. I'm debating tagging people, but I'm not too sure who I'd burden with this meme. So why wait for a tag? Just do it. Tell us where you like to eat.

eight more things

Rosie tagged me to spill my guts for you and admit to eight random things that you don't yet know. I can't really be sure what you do or don't know about me, and I'm not rereading things I may have admitted to since I began writing this blog. If nothing else though, this meme can prove that I'm not a one track roller derby minded freak, regardless of how it might sound in recent posts.

1. I can find something in almost any genre of music, outside of any orchestral music that involves singing which irritates the shit out of me, that I like, from hip hop to country. In fact, the country video I posted late last night was one I stumbled on while looking for a new Ska Weekend post. How I jumped from ska to country the world may never know. Oh, and I also don't like really heavy metal with the singer growling and making his throat all itchy and raw. That too sucks.

2. In school I was usually the kid that was bored and drawing stupid pictures or drawing mustaches on the people pictured in books. I still like to draw mustaches on pictures of people.

3. Because of our drought, I haven't really HAD to mow the grass in weeks, but the yard still looks like shit and not just because of the brown. Some weird plant that almost but not quite looks like rosemary has popped up in a few places and has grow to at least waist high. And the grass in the ditch is actually growing too tall, so I really do need to mow.

4. In real life, I probably swear more than just about anyone you know. It doesn't come through so much when I write, though sometimes it almost does.

5. I hate the eight things meme because after a couple of random facts, I run out of things to say and start entertaining thoughts of being more personal than I like. For all the talking I do, I really don't care much for sharing. I don't like feelings.

6. I hate waking up in the morning a bit more than I hate waking up in the afternoon, though waking in the afternoon always makes me feel a little guilty, though I usually wake in the late morning as opposed to afternoon, or is it early afternoon?

7. I'm beginning to grow tired of smoking, but I dread the very idea of trying to quit. I've almost attempted a few times over the years, never lasting more than a few short hours.

8. I hate tagging people for memes. It's sort of a self esteem thing in a sense, like, "Who am I to think people will read this in the first place, much less want to lower themselves to do the kind of memes I do." But that's sort of an issue outside of the online world as well. It's like I don't trust myself not to seem like I suck to most people.

And there you have round two of Eight Things About Me. Hope you enjoyed it, and if you didn't enjoy it, I at least hope you can stand not to make fun of me for anything that I may have written. I'm sure it seems that by number eight I was really stretching and grasping for some reasonable way to just finish and hit the publish button, and I was, but I'd prefer you not think I was, so maybe I wasn't.

nerdy me

Thanks, Ron, just what I needed. Ron and Andrea at Atypical Homeschool are white and nerdy, and they may well be white and more nerdly than am I. I wouldn't think it would take much to be more nerdy than me, but that's only my desire to play down my own nerdliness. Also, I'm having trouble spelling today, but because I'm quick on the backspace, you didn't notice me write "to me bore nerdy" just a bit up there.


How White and Nerdy Are You?

rate me baby

Who always has the fun? Pissed Off Housewife, because she finds great finds, like this rating doohickey.

Anyway, my blog, as if I needed to ask them, gets . . .

Mingle² - Online Dating

The rating was earned because of the following words.
kill-used seven times
ass-used five times
shit-used four times
punch-used one time

I don't know how far back they look when they peruse your blog for their rating, and I'm not saying I disagree with NC-17, but honestly, if that's all they found then they didn't look very hard. How about all the times I say fuck, jizz splash, cock gobbler and santorum? Didn't they even try? Punch apparently is a bad word, but it's not like I was talking about neck punches and throat babies.

I'm calling this a meme, so go and play along, but I don't expect too many people who show up here to even get past a possible PG. I know who you are.

almost not monday anymore

And since it's not Tuesday yet, I can at least attempt to begin the Monday Melee. I've got to get The Boy in bed soon, which means another chapter of Harry Potter, and that may interrupt me a bit, but you won't notice unless I tell you, so there.

Since it's Monday Melee time, I should remind you that we have Fracas to thank for this. Please feel free to take the fun to your own blog. If you want to know more, click the fancy thingy right down there, hopefully after reading all the cool things I have to say.


1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.
Too often, people fail to see past their own needs/desires to the truth of the matter. It's sort of like the anti gay rights people who are willing to outright lie to people/sheep in order to make their inhuman point when in reality they are just being selfish assholes.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
abridged books

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
I may have mentioned this before (possibly both times previous to today that I've done the Monday Melee) but I really need to make more of an effort to write. Blogging is supposed to be practice and a hapit builder, but even the blog finds me giving too little attention too often.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
The US Men's National Soccer team is kicking ass in the Gold Cup. Too bad all the games are on Fox Soccer Channel, and I don't get to see any.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I make myself laugh so hard that I often almost but not quite pee a little.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
This isn't really make believe, as it all rests on me, but I do wish for it. I'll be announcing my first roller derby bout in just less than a week. I'll post later tonight about that, but I really hope I do well. I love our league, and the fact that they are willing to give me a shot is very gratifying. I only hope I can do well and help the league as we grow and continue kicking ass.

And there you have it. I didn't yet get The Boy in bed, and he and Big Brother are having a blast playing and charging through the house, possibly being Jedi, but who really knows with the two of them.

melee

In keeping, at least for now, with the Monday Melee tradition, I present you now, on Monday no less, the melee. Enjoy!


1. The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) that you absolutely hate.
I hate when people treat life as a contest and try to outcool you by being more punk or more street or more anything. It sounds so completely silly to discuss, but I think we all know people like this. It's fanboy syndrome.

2. The Meretricious: Name something or someone that's phony, fraudulent or bogus.
county commission

3. The Malcontent: Name something you're unhappy with.
I need to do things differently day to day to make things better for my family, even things as simple as cleaning the house more regularly would help.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name them if you can.
Momma gets a metric shit ton of credit. She finally got tired of the damn credit card and took the time to figure out how we could pay it off. We now owe our bank a bit of money, but GM Mastercard will soon get the pay off and may then feel free to go fuck themselves. Thank you, Momma!

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
Though I really need a haircut, my hair isn't nearly as annoying as I remember it. It's been kept shaved for so many years that I've really forgotten what it's like to have it.

6. The Make believe: Name something you wish for.
An end to the procrastination that sees me not really working toward doing the writing I've told myself for years I was going to do.