I've always edited for content those things I've sent out into the world before. I may have not always edited or chosen as well as I could, but I've also set myself up as being better than I really am in real life.
I'm not nearly as soft spoken or as well thought out. There isn't much of a filter out with friends or even at work. Work is easy because we're all a bunch of losers on our way to hell anyway. Actually we're a fairly random sampling sort of place with too many people who are in bands. It'll be hell night at work if they all played a show together.
I also talk a lot at work, and probably you can't really imagine what a lot means in this little story, but it's a near constant aural barrage on my coworkers running the gamut from t.v. theme songs from my childhood to a constant dissing of any music playing that I don't like which is tempered by my witty way of sometimes singing with rather bawdy false lyrics replacing the actual ones. I also might sometimes be a little forward with some of the male servers.
In all these instances my desire is to amuse, to give a worthy laughing dialogue to a sometimes monotonous yet often horrific duty in our kitchen and dining areas. And as for being sometimes too friendly to the boys, I must say I think it's part of my job to let them actually know a homo and to be forced to deal with me on my terms so that they are nudged toward the realization that gay people are just as obnoxious and normal as they are and to get over any lingering nonsense.
I include nearly anyone in my joking and say things that are often over the line of decency, but my intent is never to hurt anyone, and when people realize that I'm really a decent guy they tend to cut me more slack than I deserve probably. On some level I like to make sure that as many people take the fall as I can possibly squeeze in. We all have some stereotype we can fit, and it's my job to remind everyone that it's only funny if anyone can fit into it. Or I'm just making that up to pump myself up.
So we finally get to the point of my meandering. Bob Vander Plaats runs a "family" group in Iowa that thinks that gay people are really not good at all. He's a far right social conservative that led a campaign to have judges removed from office because they voted to allow marriage equality in Iowa. He's on a mission from god to be as big a douche as he's capable of to gay people.
He was caught on video reacting to a joke that suggested that in Iowa one is unable to enjoy a cigarette but that loving gay couples are allowed to marry. I'm lifting the story from Box Turtle Bulletin, so click on their name for their take on the matter and more of the story plus links to why this guy Bob is an ass and why they hate the joke and his laughter. They also have video.
I don't get the joke at all. I'm not from Iowa, though I do have an aunt and uncle and possibly some cousins there. I met them once many years ago, and they seemed like decent people.
To be honest the actual joke goes as such, in Iowa you can't smoke a fag, but you can marry one. And perhaps my not being of Iowan heritage I'm unaware of some nuance that renders this joke unfunny to me. And that's why I hate it.
Oh, I also hate that the guy laughing at the joke isn't getting it either. I'm sure you can still smoke cigarettes in Iowa . . .
. . . unless the meaning of the joke is that it's unlawful to use a firearm to shoot a homosexual. That might be another nuance of the joke as "to smoke" is popular parlance for shooting someone or something with a firearm. That totally moves the joke along, because then you're suggesting that actually shooting someone for being gay is cleverly juxtaposed against basic human dignity and equality.
Wow, now I get why it's funny. Man do I feel silly.
Showing posts with label someone is an asshole. Show all posts
Showing posts with label someone is an asshole. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
and doggone it . . .
One of those things happened tonight on the ol' Fb as I was reminded why I deleted so many friends so long ago. A teacher from my high school years made a comment that was slightly politically charged, and I said something to disagree.
He said something about Obama being our first black president and being half white, and I corrected him that Clinton was actually our first black president.
He of course then pointed out that both were bad people and wrong, so I commented that I was rolling up my pants.
I took myself away from the debate, but I made sure to do so in a slightly passive aggressive way. Now maybe I'm prejudiced when it comes to me, but I think that shows a touch of class.
He said something about Obama being our first black president and being half white, and I corrected him that Clinton was actually our first black president.
He of course then pointed out that both were bad people and wrong, so I commented that I was rolling up my pants.
I took myself away from the debate, but I made sure to do so in a slightly passive aggressive way. Now maybe I'm prejudiced when it comes to me, but I think that shows a touch of class.
Monday, February 21, 2011
loose pad
Fortunately my back brake is tight, tight as in works well enough that I can skid without too much trying. Also I was fortunate in not having been moving very quickly when I hit my front brake which suddenly wasn't really working in a way that was even a little bit helpful.
It probably wasn't really nice or proper of me to refer to the kid as a sack of shit, but either one or both of his parents are a sack of shit for letting him play with my bike.
Entering the restaurant where I work through the front door you pass between our bar area to the left and a separate dining room on the right. Continue through and you reach the courtyard which is essentially fenced off inside the greater room, separating it from two walkways on the outer edges of the room. These walking areas lead to the doors that lead to the stairways that lead to the condos on the floors above. Continue your walk from the front door to end in the kitchen, where we have more dining, but if I start talking about the tourists I might start to rant a little.
Only one of the two doors to the upper living areas is used often, so the walkway leading to the less used door has become parking for those of us who ride our bikes to work.
At some point today, as I was moving between the kitchen and somewhere else in the restaurant, there was a family seated in the courtyard. Only the parents were actually seated at the moment I walked through. The two young girls and young boy that were also part of the party were in the less used walkway. While the girls admired the horrid painting of crap that takes up nearly a twenty by thirty foot area of the wall there the boy could be seen fucking with my bike.
I have no proof that the kid fucked with my brakes. One of my pads on the front was loose when I left, and I didn't know this till I was pedaling away and tried to use the brakes. I tend to use the front brake more for control and the back for stopping or to slow myself more quickly. In a sense I kinda rely on them a lot.
And it's not as if the kid was off somewhere, unattended and unwatched. The parents were seated at a table facing the exact direction of my bike and their kid and were not more than five feet away. Looking at their child would have confirmed that his bike was not in fact the one leaning against the divider fence and that he was in fact fucking with a bike not his own.
Perhaps they just didn't realize that the machine their child was treating as his own is in fact my main mode of transportation, much like their car is for them. Maybe they just don't realize how dirty my bike probably is. And it's not that it's so dirty so much as that I ride on regular ol' city streets where anything can and likely does go. Bikes also hold potential dangers for small children, not the least of which is that they could easily pull the bike over on themselves.
Maybe the kid didn't loosen my brake pad, but it was working when I arrived in the morning, and it wasn't working when I left. I easily found and fixed the problem, but that didn't really help when I first attempted to use that brake and it wasn't really there suddenly.
My front brake works, but it isn't as tight as the back. The back is my stopping brake or my sudden need to decrease speed brake. My front is a more delicate sort of control of speed. That doesn't make it any less essential, but it also doesn't make it the point.
So, I saw the kid fucking with my bike, and I wanted to approach the parents and say something. I'm also a restaurant employee and have been trained for years to not piss off the customer. I also know how some parents can be when approached about something their kid is doing but should not be doing. It's almost as if you're questioning their entire ability to parent as well as the general goodness of the children.
And I'm still not sure what I should have done. Perhaps the simplest thing would have been to push my way into their little zone and remove my bike. There are a couple of places I could have moved it to, and without having talked at all other than to excuse myself there'd be no reason for the parents to turn douche, though some people never need a valid reason.
The best idea really would be for people to control their kids and teach them that fucking with other people's stuff is really never cool. They aren't special, and my bike should be understood to be off limits. More than anything, the fact that parents didn't already get this idea is just baffling to me. And that's part of my reluctance to say or do anything. What can you really say or do to people like this?
p.s. Is the post title an homage or just a coincidence that made me think of this?
It probably wasn't really nice or proper of me to refer to the kid as a sack of shit, but either one or both of his parents are a sack of shit for letting him play with my bike.
Entering the restaurant where I work through the front door you pass between our bar area to the left and a separate dining room on the right. Continue through and you reach the courtyard which is essentially fenced off inside the greater room, separating it from two walkways on the outer edges of the room. These walking areas lead to the doors that lead to the stairways that lead to the condos on the floors above. Continue your walk from the front door to end in the kitchen, where we have more dining, but if I start talking about the tourists I might start to rant a little.
Only one of the two doors to the upper living areas is used often, so the walkway leading to the less used door has become parking for those of us who ride our bikes to work.
At some point today, as I was moving between the kitchen and somewhere else in the restaurant, there was a family seated in the courtyard. Only the parents were actually seated at the moment I walked through. The two young girls and young boy that were also part of the party were in the less used walkway. While the girls admired the horrid painting of crap that takes up nearly a twenty by thirty foot area of the wall there the boy could be seen fucking with my bike.
I have no proof that the kid fucked with my brakes. One of my pads on the front was loose when I left, and I didn't know this till I was pedaling away and tried to use the brakes. I tend to use the front brake more for control and the back for stopping or to slow myself more quickly. In a sense I kinda rely on them a lot.
And it's not as if the kid was off somewhere, unattended and unwatched. The parents were seated at a table facing the exact direction of my bike and their kid and were not more than five feet away. Looking at their child would have confirmed that his bike was not in fact the one leaning against the divider fence and that he was in fact fucking with a bike not his own.
Perhaps they just didn't realize that the machine their child was treating as his own is in fact my main mode of transportation, much like their car is for them. Maybe they just don't realize how dirty my bike probably is. And it's not that it's so dirty so much as that I ride on regular ol' city streets where anything can and likely does go. Bikes also hold potential dangers for small children, not the least of which is that they could easily pull the bike over on themselves.
Maybe the kid didn't loosen my brake pad, but it was working when I arrived in the morning, and it wasn't working when I left. I easily found and fixed the problem, but that didn't really help when I first attempted to use that brake and it wasn't really there suddenly.
My front brake works, but it isn't as tight as the back. The back is my stopping brake or my sudden need to decrease speed brake. My front is a more delicate sort of control of speed. That doesn't make it any less essential, but it also doesn't make it the point.
So, I saw the kid fucking with my bike, and I wanted to approach the parents and say something. I'm also a restaurant employee and have been trained for years to not piss off the customer. I also know how some parents can be when approached about something their kid is doing but should not be doing. It's almost as if you're questioning their entire ability to parent as well as the general goodness of the children.
And I'm still not sure what I should have done. Perhaps the simplest thing would have been to push my way into their little zone and remove my bike. There are a couple of places I could have moved it to, and without having talked at all other than to excuse myself there'd be no reason for the parents to turn douche, though some people never need a valid reason.
The best idea really would be for people to control their kids and teach them that fucking with other people's stuff is really never cool. They aren't special, and my bike should be understood to be off limits. More than anything, the fact that parents didn't already get this idea is just baffling to me. And that's part of my reluctance to say or do anything. What can you really say or do to people like this?
p.s. Is the post title an homage or just a coincidence that made me think of this?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
liberal locust that I am
Let's get all the perfunctory out of the way, so I can bitch about the dumbass. A friend on the book of faces posted this Salon story about a mother who defrauded the government out of millions of dollars and punched a clown AND a kitten. She also tripped kids in glasses and made puppies feel really bad about themselves.
The piece was written by Elon James White who also has his own blog, This Week in Blackness, which I've added to my reader because he's awesome apparently. FWIW, he's also kinda cute, but the smarts is why I want to read more of him.
Actually, the mother in question apparently told the local school board that her kids lived with their grandfather. She did this so that her kids could go to a better school, described in the article that spawned the piece as a "rich white school."
If I have regular readers then they likely know that my kids have started attending school after having been homeschooled for all their life up till this year. The Boy, from Momma's house, is zoned for the school he attends, though for middle school both boys are zoned for the school Big Brother attends. We could probably have given either address for the kids as their primary domicile as they stay at whichever house makes the most sense based on the day, Momma's and my work schedules, and any number of other possible reasons that may come up based on any number of things that we may or may not foresee. They're zoned for a different elementary school from the house I'm currently in, but I don't know anything about that school. They can see their potential high school from Momma's back porch. I don't really know anything about it other than it's much more racially diverse than the rich white school, and yes, we have at least one of those. There's a fair variety of schools around this town, and there's really no point in arguing the fact that the whiter the student population is the nicer the school seems to be.
Most of the comments to the story at Salon seem to suggest my own feelings, that this mother did what any number of other people do or would do. She did break a law, but what she wanted to accomplish by breaking the law was to get the best education for her children. And the reasoning behind her act should be considered in whatever legal issues arise from this act.
The bigger point, and the bigger problem, has little to do with this one family. The real problem is that within any one city there can be such a variety of schools so that one could actually know, based on ethnic makeup, which school was likely to be a better school, to have better and newer equipment, to have more options for the students. It's sickening that this happens, but it does.
And while I considered posting my own rant about this story I hadn't made up my mind till I got to the comment HERE, by someone calling himself something that he isn't. I'm not a regular reader or commenter at Salon, so I can't know how well this guy is known. But something I notice in blog comments is how open people are. If you hide behind the veil of an anonymous and nebulous username then you can get by with being the world's biggest douche and a half.
Let me just give you a snippet of the insanity so that you don't have to actually visit the comment.
-liberals (the locusts that they are) destroy poor neighborhoods by building welfare offices and abortion clinics
-that boogeyman, “racism” that we are always told is everywhere all the time except that we never ever ever ever fucking see it
-Liberals are disgusting baby killing race exploitive pieces of shit
Seriously, he says all those things.
Let's look at it one at a time.
How many "welfare offices" does your town/city have? I know of one here. Momma and I, once upon a time, received what were essentially food stamps. And we went to the same place as everyone else, sat in the same shitty waiting room, and were just as happy as most people when we were doing better and no longer qualified for the help. I could easily qualify now if I'd swallow my pride. Also, abortion clinics? Really? I know where two are, and I know some people who've had abortions. I don't like that they felt they had to, but that's not especially my place. I'm glad they could do so safely. I know of two places that will perform abortions, and both of them are nearer campus than in our city's poorer neighborhoods.
That boogeyman racism is alive and well, or at least more well than many of us would like. But that doesn't mean we all see it all the time. That doesn't mean that we all see it when it happens, and it doesn't mean we recognize it when we see it happening. I can see things I think are racist, but I can't suddenly be black and see life through the lens that growing up black would give me. I can be gay and see homophobia, but at the same time I'm still a white male that can pretend he's not gay. Yes, that comes with it's own baggage, but I wouldn't dare compare being black to being gay or being gay to being black. Black people who are not gay can't see through my lens any more than I theirs.
Finally, I've never killed a baby, and I don't think I've ever exploited race. I killed a snake once, and I've killed my share of mosquitoes, and some of the bugs I've squished might have been babies, but I'm not stopping to look. I want to not understand what he means by "race exploitive" because ignorance is supposedly bliss, but I have to accept that this is proof that racism is alive and well. I may have mentioned that. It gets back to that lens thing. I don't get to decide what is or isn't racist to black people. I can disagree all I want, but my balls aren't really that big.
My point with this post isn't about this one commenter. I live in the south, and I think I have a slightly better handle on racism than some white people. I do think being gay gives me at least a little peak into, but as mentioned above, I don't think there's a way to compare racism and homophobia, and I don't want to say either is worse or less worse.
I hate reading comments like this because it just makes my brain hurt. It makes my heart hurt. It makes a bad place in my day. It's too good to be satire, and it's too likely that this guy believes what he says. He really, honestly thinks what he is saying is true. He doesn't see a problem with black schools and white schools, or he just doesn't see that this problem exists. If he does see it then he just doesn't care that racism is alive and well and that he's perpetuating it.
If you happen on an alligator that wants to eat you, hiding your face in your hands won't make it go away.
The piece was written by Elon James White who also has his own blog, This Week in Blackness, which I've added to my reader because he's awesome apparently. FWIW, he's also kinda cute, but the smarts is why I want to read more of him.
Actually, the mother in question apparently told the local school board that her kids lived with their grandfather. She did this so that her kids could go to a better school, described in the article that spawned the piece as a "rich white school."
If I have regular readers then they likely know that my kids have started attending school after having been homeschooled for all their life up till this year. The Boy, from Momma's house, is zoned for the school he attends, though for middle school both boys are zoned for the school Big Brother attends. We could probably have given either address for the kids as their primary domicile as they stay at whichever house makes the most sense based on the day, Momma's and my work schedules, and any number of other possible reasons that may come up based on any number of things that we may or may not foresee. They're zoned for a different elementary school from the house I'm currently in, but I don't know anything about that school. They can see their potential high school from Momma's back porch. I don't really know anything about it other than it's much more racially diverse than the rich white school, and yes, we have at least one of those. There's a fair variety of schools around this town, and there's really no point in arguing the fact that the whiter the student population is the nicer the school seems to be.
Most of the comments to the story at Salon seem to suggest my own feelings, that this mother did what any number of other people do or would do. She did break a law, but what she wanted to accomplish by breaking the law was to get the best education for her children. And the reasoning behind her act should be considered in whatever legal issues arise from this act.
The bigger point, and the bigger problem, has little to do with this one family. The real problem is that within any one city there can be such a variety of schools so that one could actually know, based on ethnic makeup, which school was likely to be a better school, to have better and newer equipment, to have more options for the students. It's sickening that this happens, but it does.
And while I considered posting my own rant about this story I hadn't made up my mind till I got to the comment HERE, by someone calling himself something that he isn't. I'm not a regular reader or commenter at Salon, so I can't know how well this guy is known. But something I notice in blog comments is how open people are. If you hide behind the veil of an anonymous and nebulous username then you can get by with being the world's biggest douche and a half.
Let me just give you a snippet of the insanity so that you don't have to actually visit the comment.
-liberals (the locusts that they are) destroy poor neighborhoods by building welfare offices and abortion clinics
-that boogeyman, “racism” that we are always told is everywhere all the time except that we never ever ever ever fucking see it
-Liberals are disgusting baby killing race exploitive pieces of shit
Seriously, he says all those things.
Let's look at it one at a time.
How many "welfare offices" does your town/city have? I know of one here. Momma and I, once upon a time, received what were essentially food stamps. And we went to the same place as everyone else, sat in the same shitty waiting room, and were just as happy as most people when we were doing better and no longer qualified for the help. I could easily qualify now if I'd swallow my pride. Also, abortion clinics? Really? I know where two are, and I know some people who've had abortions. I don't like that they felt they had to, but that's not especially my place. I'm glad they could do so safely. I know of two places that will perform abortions, and both of them are nearer campus than in our city's poorer neighborhoods.
That boogeyman racism is alive and well, or at least more well than many of us would like. But that doesn't mean we all see it all the time. That doesn't mean that we all see it when it happens, and it doesn't mean we recognize it when we see it happening. I can see things I think are racist, but I can't suddenly be black and see life through the lens that growing up black would give me. I can be gay and see homophobia, but at the same time I'm still a white male that can pretend he's not gay. Yes, that comes with it's own baggage, but I wouldn't dare compare being black to being gay or being gay to being black. Black people who are not gay can't see through my lens any more than I theirs.
Finally, I've never killed a baby, and I don't think I've ever exploited race. I killed a snake once, and I've killed my share of mosquitoes, and some of the bugs I've squished might have been babies, but I'm not stopping to look. I want to not understand what he means by "race exploitive" because ignorance is supposedly bliss, but I have to accept that this is proof that racism is alive and well. I may have mentioned that. It gets back to that lens thing. I don't get to decide what is or isn't racist to black people. I can disagree all I want, but my balls aren't really that big.
My point with this post isn't about this one commenter. I live in the south, and I think I have a slightly better handle on racism than some white people. I do think being gay gives me at least a little peak into, but as mentioned above, I don't think there's a way to compare racism and homophobia, and I don't want to say either is worse or less worse.
I hate reading comments like this because it just makes my brain hurt. It makes my heart hurt. It makes a bad place in my day. It's too good to be satire, and it's too likely that this guy believes what he says. He really, honestly thinks what he is saying is true. He doesn't see a problem with black schools and white schools, or he just doesn't see that this problem exists. If he does see it then he just doesn't care that racism is alive and well and that he's perpetuating it.
If you happen on an alligator that wants to eat you, hiding your face in your hands won't make it go away.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
no, seriously
For full context go HERE and watch the video of Alex Nicholson (homosexual) who was booted from the military because of being homosexual and DADT versus Peter Sprigg, professional sayer of lies about homosexuals. It's some CNN show where the host doesn't take sides but instead introduces some sort of information and follows with a question. Hat tip for this nugget to Towleroad.
Peter Sprigg says the most outrageous things about homosexuals, and Alex Nicholson answers his questions with reasoned responses. They aren't asked the same questions, and it's arugable that the CNN guy chose questions for Peter Sprigg to point out the folly of his ways, but then he mostly sits back and lets the loony go.
When I first watched the clip I found myself getting irritated as Peter Sprigg was allowed to talk uncontested. Thinking about it now I wonder if that wasn't part of the plan from the beginning. The only way to fight these people is to let the world know exactly what it is they are suggesting that America do to its sons and daughters.
Also when first watching the clip I found myself doing this thing that I sometimes do that sometimes annoys the people around me. I correct people's language. I don't just do it about homosexual sometimes. But I do because I do think it's helpful overall to worry about our words. I had a discussion recently with a coworker in which he mentioned that he'd stopped using gay as a pejorative because of me calling him on it. I know other people who at least don't do it around me anymore, and I hope they've stopped doing so in general.
There needs to be that voice, saying things like, "Is the knife really gay or is it that you need to sharpen it so that it works right? I don't think knives have the ability to be gay or not gay." fwiw, I work in a kitchen, so knives are a huge part of my day.
When I hear "same sex marriage" I want to just loudly enough say, "marriage equality." When Peter Sprigg tries to say "sexual assault, molestation," I just want to ask for proof and for stats for both same gender and opposite gender sexual assaults. When I hear "preference" I say "orientation." Sometimes it's almost involuntary, but I'm also kind of an ass apparently.
And whenever Peter Sprigg opens his lying mouth at a camera that is in the on position there needs to be the counter point. There needs to be someone else on camera saying to him, "No, seriously. How does the presence of out homos make it more likely that you will lose a leg in combat?" at which point I'd follow up with, "and does my presence here today next to you increase the odds that you will lose at leg during this interview?" and that would possibly end my career as the voice.
And you know, it's not that I really want to control people's language. What I really want is for us all to think about our words. Peter Sprigg flat out lies. He makes words do bad things, and he never really comes out and says what he means. He hits around the whole more than a suck up playing golf with the boss. fwiw, the "w" in "whole" is accidental. I mean to put "hole" but then I liked the way it sorta worked. Let's pretend I did it on purpose.
p.s., homosexuals on CNN should never say, "That's a good question," when in fact it really isn't that good a question.
Peter Sprigg says the most outrageous things about homosexuals, and Alex Nicholson answers his questions with reasoned responses. They aren't asked the same questions, and it's arugable that the CNN guy chose questions for Peter Sprigg to point out the folly of his ways, but then he mostly sits back and lets the loony go.
When I first watched the clip I found myself getting irritated as Peter Sprigg was allowed to talk uncontested. Thinking about it now I wonder if that wasn't part of the plan from the beginning. The only way to fight these people is to let the world know exactly what it is they are suggesting that America do to its sons and daughters.
Also when first watching the clip I found myself doing this thing that I sometimes do that sometimes annoys the people around me. I correct people's language. I don't just do it about homosexual sometimes. But I do because I do think it's helpful overall to worry about our words. I had a discussion recently with a coworker in which he mentioned that he'd stopped using gay as a pejorative because of me calling him on it. I know other people who at least don't do it around me anymore, and I hope they've stopped doing so in general.
There needs to be that voice, saying things like, "Is the knife really gay or is it that you need to sharpen it so that it works right? I don't think knives have the ability to be gay or not gay." fwiw, I work in a kitchen, so knives are a huge part of my day.
When I hear "same sex marriage" I want to just loudly enough say, "marriage equality." When Peter Sprigg tries to say "sexual assault, molestation," I just want to ask for proof and for stats for both same gender and opposite gender sexual assaults. When I hear "preference" I say "orientation." Sometimes it's almost involuntary, but I'm also kind of an ass apparently.
And whenever Peter Sprigg opens his lying mouth at a camera that is in the on position there needs to be the counter point. There needs to be someone else on camera saying to him, "No, seriously. How does the presence of out homos make it more likely that you will lose a leg in combat?" at which point I'd follow up with, "and does my presence here today next to you increase the odds that you will lose at leg during this interview?" and that would possibly end my career as the voice.
And you know, it's not that I really want to control people's language. What I really want is for us all to think about our words. Peter Sprigg flat out lies. He makes words do bad things, and he never really comes out and says what he means. He hits around the whole more than a suck up playing golf with the boss. fwiw, the "w" in "whole" is accidental. I mean to put "hole" but then I liked the way it sorta worked. Let's pretend I did it on purpose.
p.s., homosexuals on CNN should never say, "That's a good question," when in fact it really isn't that good a question.
Sunday, October 03, 2010
in which I say poll several times
My main email account has been at Yahoo for years. My very first one ever was either Prodigy or Juno. There was the MSN one for a while, and I may still have an active email account with AOL that I never used other than for the AIM. I do have a gmail account, but I really only use it because I like it better for sending pictures from my phone.
None of that's really the point other than the Yahoo part which is the email address I use for my daily electronic correspondence, and because I have then to visit Yahoo I sometimes catch myself having to read one of the stories featured on the front page.
Today's story was about a poll Yahoo was taking that showed Americans are equally split in their opinions as to whether or not I should be allowed to marry a man, though thankfully they didn't have a poll on how long it would take me to meet one worth marrying. That would have been depressing.
Though the story itself isn't depressing, and the poll numbers do basically tell us what we likely know, it's not disheartening to read that we get closer to equality over time. Toward the end of the article it even mentions the age gap in difference of opinion in older versus younger generations, and that's a testament to how far we have come in that so many people are coming out younger, and their straight friends remain friends and eventually become allies.
But the article does leave me a little underwhelmed.
I may have mentioned that I don't really like the term "gay marriage." So it should be no surprise that the use of that term throughout the article was irritating. Then the third paragraph begins with the line, The battle for what pro gay-marriage activists call "marriage equality" . . . And yes, they do use scare quotes around what the writer must assume is not a real thing, and they're letting us know that it's the activists, the loud ones that get in your face that want to use this term.
They mention DADT and almost mention Margaret Witt, a flight nurse in the Air Force who was discharged/fired because of DADT. While the article is correct in suggesting that the discharge was unconstitutional, and they mention that a judge has ruled that she should be reinstated because of that, but I think it bears repeating that the judge ruled that Margaret Witt should be given her job back because of constitution issues as well as because her discharge hurt unit morale as well as their ability to function properly.
Further into the article about their poll they mention reader comments showing the divide between how people view marriage equality. In an effort, one assume, to be balanced they include a comment from an anti who points out that the world will be destroyed because all the families will stop being families. I really feel that, at this point in the conversation, when all you can offer is a soundbite then maybe your voice is no longer valid, so I can't believe this sort of shit is still included in the story. It's an argument that's easily disproven as several countries around the world allow openly gay people to serve in the military and don't tell you who you can marry, and the world seems to be spinning and orbiting as much as ever.
They end somewhere around "marriage is a religious ceremony" which is the antis trying to make us believe that churches will have to marry gays, another thing that they say that just isn't true, but the article doesn't seem to point out that churches already have the ability to pick and choose who they will or won't marry.
It just seems lazy to me I guess. Maybe I expect more than just a telling of the story, but I have to remember most of my gay news comes from actual gay people writing about them in blogs devoted to gay news and opinion. Not only do I get my gay news quicker, but I get it picked apart by gay people. For this same reason maybe I expect a little activism when I read a story like this, and perhaps I shouldn't or should consider the source before reading to save myself the stress.
The thing is that I would like for people to write stories that involve calling people out when they say things that are untrue or to at least do some research and find out if what they are saying is either a misunderstanding or a parroting of that guy on the radio or just a blatant lie. And maybe if the news would start to treat gay people as people instead of always having to be gay as well as nearly people we could move this damn bus even quicker.
None of that's really the point other than the Yahoo part which is the email address I use for my daily electronic correspondence, and because I have then to visit Yahoo I sometimes catch myself having to read one of the stories featured on the front page.
Today's story was about a poll Yahoo was taking that showed Americans are equally split in their opinions as to whether or not I should be allowed to marry a man, though thankfully they didn't have a poll on how long it would take me to meet one worth marrying. That would have been depressing.
Though the story itself isn't depressing, and the poll numbers do basically tell us what we likely know, it's not disheartening to read that we get closer to equality over time. Toward the end of the article it even mentions the age gap in difference of opinion in older versus younger generations, and that's a testament to how far we have come in that so many people are coming out younger, and their straight friends remain friends and eventually become allies.
But the article does leave me a little underwhelmed.
I may have mentioned that I don't really like the term "gay marriage." So it should be no surprise that the use of that term throughout the article was irritating. Then the third paragraph begins with the line, The battle for what pro gay-marriage activists call "marriage equality" . . . And yes, they do use scare quotes around what the writer must assume is not a real thing, and they're letting us know that it's the activists, the loud ones that get in your face that want to use this term.
They mention DADT and almost mention Margaret Witt, a flight nurse in the Air Force who was discharged/fired because of DADT. While the article is correct in suggesting that the discharge was unconstitutional, and they mention that a judge has ruled that she should be reinstated because of that, but I think it bears repeating that the judge ruled that Margaret Witt should be given her job back because of constitution issues as well as because her discharge hurt unit morale as well as their ability to function properly.
Further into the article about their poll they mention reader comments showing the divide between how people view marriage equality. In an effort, one assume, to be balanced they include a comment from an anti who points out that the world will be destroyed because all the families will stop being families. I really feel that, at this point in the conversation, when all you can offer is a soundbite then maybe your voice is no longer valid, so I can't believe this sort of shit is still included in the story. It's an argument that's easily disproven as several countries around the world allow openly gay people to serve in the military and don't tell you who you can marry, and the world seems to be spinning and orbiting as much as ever.
They end somewhere around "marriage is a religious ceremony" which is the antis trying to make us believe that churches will have to marry gays, another thing that they say that just isn't true, but the article doesn't seem to point out that churches already have the ability to pick and choose who they will or won't marry.
It just seems lazy to me I guess. Maybe I expect more than just a telling of the story, but I have to remember most of my gay news comes from actual gay people writing about them in blogs devoted to gay news and opinion. Not only do I get my gay news quicker, but I get it picked apart by gay people. For this same reason maybe I expect a little activism when I read a story like this, and perhaps I shouldn't or should consider the source before reading to save myself the stress.
The thing is that I would like for people to write stories that involve calling people out when they say things that are untrue or to at least do some research and find out if what they are saying is either a misunderstanding or a parroting of that guy on the radio or just a blatant lie. And maybe if the news would start to treat gay people as people instead of always having to be gay as well as nearly people we could move this damn bus even quicker.
Sunday, August 08, 2010
just keep poking us in the eye
Proposition 8 was justifiably overturned last week in a ruling many people have been awaiting for months. National Organization for Marriage has begun what they've decided to call their Summer for Marriage Tour, driving around to preach to people about marriage being one man and one woman.
Perhaps in the majority of US states marriage is confined to one man and one woman, but as time slowly creeps on we find that equality keeps growing more than not. Outside of the US Mexico City is one of the more recent places to find that gay couples should be allowed to marry. Five US states and a growing handful of countries are realizing that equality benefits all families.
And that is one of the most hurtful things to come out of this culture war, this battle that need not even be fought. I am gay and have a family. I have children, and I'm most certainly not the only gay person with children. But to hear NOM talk about family you'd think that children only appear when a loving heterosexual couple marries with the intent to produce children and raise them in a loving home.
Families come about in a variety of ways and for a variety of reasons. Some people do in fact marry and make babies and stay together till death do them part. Sometimes a person's loved one dies leaving them alone with the children. Sometimes children find their birth parents gone and no longer part of their life for any number of reasons. Sometimes people are unable to have their own children and are willing to create a family through adoption to provide a family for children without parents. Sometimes families combine two pre-existing families to create a new family. And to pretend that only the first type of family I mentioned is the only kind of family that is real or that actually exists is to insult every single other type of family, to degrade them as worthless and not of value.
And that is what NOM does every single day and every minute of every day that they exist. They've spent untold millions of dollars fighting this culture war that need not exist, dollars that could do the thing their Bible actually tells them to do, help the weak and downtrodden, the hungry and the hurting.
But instead of doing that they are making a point of making sure more people are weak and downtrodden, increasing the number of hungry and hurting.
If you want to follow their evil trip to spread hurt then visit the Courage Campaign's Prop 8 Trial Tracker blog. They began earlier this year to make sure that anyone interested was able to keep abreast of the Prop 8 trial, and they've continued their work as we've waited for the verdict (great post about that HERE) and are now on the front lines documenting NOM's bus of animus tour.
Perhaps in the majority of US states marriage is confined to one man and one woman, but as time slowly creeps on we find that equality keeps growing more than not. Outside of the US Mexico City is one of the more recent places to find that gay couples should be allowed to marry. Five US states and a growing handful of countries are realizing that equality benefits all families.
And that is one of the most hurtful things to come out of this culture war, this battle that need not even be fought. I am gay and have a family. I have children, and I'm most certainly not the only gay person with children. But to hear NOM talk about family you'd think that children only appear when a loving heterosexual couple marries with the intent to produce children and raise them in a loving home.
Families come about in a variety of ways and for a variety of reasons. Some people do in fact marry and make babies and stay together till death do them part. Sometimes a person's loved one dies leaving them alone with the children. Sometimes children find their birth parents gone and no longer part of their life for any number of reasons. Sometimes people are unable to have their own children and are willing to create a family through adoption to provide a family for children without parents. Sometimes families combine two pre-existing families to create a new family. And to pretend that only the first type of family I mentioned is the only kind of family that is real or that actually exists is to insult every single other type of family, to degrade them as worthless and not of value.
And that is what NOM does every single day and every minute of every day that they exist. They've spent untold millions of dollars fighting this culture war that need not exist, dollars that could do the thing their Bible actually tells them to do, help the weak and downtrodden, the hungry and the hurting.
But instead of doing that they are making a point of making sure more people are weak and downtrodden, increasing the number of hungry and hurting.
If you want to follow their evil trip to spread hurt then visit the Courage Campaign's Prop 8 Trial Tracker blog. They began earlier this year to make sure that anyone interested was able to keep abreast of the Prop 8 trial, and they've continued their work as we've waited for the verdict (great post about that HERE) and are now on the front lines documenting NOM's bus of animus tour.
Friday, July 23, 2010
it belongs in the pool
During the US team's attempt to make their way through the World Cup I thought I might have developed a new appreciation for Landon Donovan, striker for both the US mens national team and MLS team LA Galaxy.
I should point out that I've hated him for years. He has his moments, but so often his moments seem only to happen during those MLS games. I should also admit that I don't watch nearly as many MLS games as I would if I had more t.v. in my life to enrich my moments, so I'm sure I've missed whatever the hell else people see in him.
I should also admit that I don't want to imagine my US team as unable to win more games because we just aren't that good. I get that we don't have the history so much of the world has, and that lack of history means that we don't have the ingrown traditions of soccer. Our kids, till recently, didn't really grow up playing soccer, though for whatever reasons it does seem to be growing more popular.
I wonder sometimes if it's growing more popular because so many kids that would love to play something don't play football or baseball for whatever reasons. Perhaps the kids are finally realizing that football is kinda stupid, and baseball is soooo boooooring. Or maybe in the fall the kids' mommies don't want them hurting themselves playing football, and baseball is soooooo boooooring.
Either way, it's growing, and as it does we'll begin to produce more of those players that would be good at any sport along with those kids that are only good at soccer or will only ever be good at soccer, and eventually we'll have a system that can overpay spoiled assholes to the point where the dual sport kid sees basketball as the sport to help him keep in shape for soccer while he awaits that lucrative pro deal. Then we'll win the World Cup.
But watching part of the game tonight reminded me that I used to hate Landon Donovan, and now it's back. Within twenty minutes of beginning to watch the game all the old animus rolled right back around. And I should now admit that I didn't even watch the first half. I only started watching somewhere in the vicinity of the fifty fifth minute.
I watched him dive twice and intentionally handle the ball once. And the moral purist in me that loves the beauty of the beautiful game just hates seeing that shit. Seriously? Diving? And this from the guy that's supposed to be our best hope? our best player?
A hand I can almost get. At least then it's . . . NO! Fuck that guy. It's part of the game that you don't touch the fucking ball with your hand. It's not even that it's against the rules so much as it's just fucking wrong, and fuck it being strategic and a good move, and there's nothing noble about taking the yellow to help your team. It's just not how it goes. I'd almost rather see a good dive.
But fuck a dive too! I get when you're running full speed that sometimes it really doesn't take a hard blow to send you spinning. I get a hard shot that just totally knocks you stupid that really was a fair tackle but you got the foul because maybe you rolled a tiny bit more than inertia might have really caused. And I don't even like those, because it's still kinda like a dive, and I hate diving. The thing is, you got beat, and instead of just dealing you're going to try and get a foul called by pretending you didn't get beat? Man up, motherfucker.
Maybe I still just want too much to be valiant and pure of heart and actually earn my wins. It's so infuriating to know that you didn't get beaten but lost to some bullshit. And when it happens you just have to suck it up or be the sour grapes guy bitching about what he knows happened.
Sometimes you get beat, and sometimes you beat yourselves, and sometimes you don't start fast enough and have to clean up your mess. But that should never mean that you handle the ball and fake fouls. Sometimes you just have to deal, to climb back on the horse, to pull yourself by your boot straps, to refuse to keep getting beaten. And maybe sometimes you just don't get to do those things. Sometimes you just aren't going to win, and sometimes the other team is going to be better.
But for fuck sake, we're Americans. We wear the white hats and save the day. We wipe the blood out of our eyes and rescue the maiden. And we don't go for the nut punch unless we're actually fighting some sort of demon creature that eats babies.
I should point out that I've hated him for years. He has his moments, but so often his moments seem only to happen during those MLS games. I should also admit that I don't watch nearly as many MLS games as I would if I had more t.v. in my life to enrich my moments, so I'm sure I've missed whatever the hell else people see in him.
I should also admit that I don't want to imagine my US team as unable to win more games because we just aren't that good. I get that we don't have the history so much of the world has, and that lack of history means that we don't have the ingrown traditions of soccer. Our kids, till recently, didn't really grow up playing soccer, though for whatever reasons it does seem to be growing more popular.
I wonder sometimes if it's growing more popular because so many kids that would love to play something don't play football or baseball for whatever reasons. Perhaps the kids are finally realizing that football is kinda stupid, and baseball is soooo boooooring. Or maybe in the fall the kids' mommies don't want them hurting themselves playing football, and baseball is soooooo boooooring.
Either way, it's growing, and as it does we'll begin to produce more of those players that would be good at any sport along with those kids that are only good at soccer or will only ever be good at soccer, and eventually we'll have a system that can overpay spoiled assholes to the point where the dual sport kid sees basketball as the sport to help him keep in shape for soccer while he awaits that lucrative pro deal. Then we'll win the World Cup.
But watching part of the game tonight reminded me that I used to hate Landon Donovan, and now it's back. Within twenty minutes of beginning to watch the game all the old animus rolled right back around. And I should now admit that I didn't even watch the first half. I only started watching somewhere in the vicinity of the fifty fifth minute.
I watched him dive twice and intentionally handle the ball once. And the moral purist in me that loves the beauty of the beautiful game just hates seeing that shit. Seriously? Diving? And this from the guy that's supposed to be our best hope? our best player?
A hand I can almost get. At least then it's . . . NO! Fuck that guy. It's part of the game that you don't touch the fucking ball with your hand. It's not even that it's against the rules so much as it's just fucking wrong, and fuck it being strategic and a good move, and there's nothing noble about taking the yellow to help your team. It's just not how it goes. I'd almost rather see a good dive.
But fuck a dive too! I get when you're running full speed that sometimes it really doesn't take a hard blow to send you spinning. I get a hard shot that just totally knocks you stupid that really was a fair tackle but you got the foul because maybe you rolled a tiny bit more than inertia might have really caused. And I don't even like those, because it's still kinda like a dive, and I hate diving. The thing is, you got beat, and instead of just dealing you're going to try and get a foul called by pretending you didn't get beat? Man up, motherfucker.
Maybe I still just want too much to be valiant and pure of heart and actually earn my wins. It's so infuriating to know that you didn't get beaten but lost to some bullshit. And when it happens you just have to suck it up or be the sour grapes guy bitching about what he knows happened.
Sometimes you get beat, and sometimes you beat yourselves, and sometimes you don't start fast enough and have to clean up your mess. But that should never mean that you handle the ball and fake fouls. Sometimes you just have to deal, to climb back on the horse, to pull yourself by your boot straps, to refuse to keep getting beaten. And maybe sometimes you just don't get to do those things. Sometimes you just aren't going to win, and sometimes the other team is going to be better.
But for fuck sake, we're Americans. We wear the white hats and save the day. We wipe the blood out of our eyes and rescue the maiden. And we don't go for the nut punch unless we're actually fighting some sort of demon creature that eats babies.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
where ever
The idea of being forcibly outed isn't new. I imagine that any group of people who find themselves with a general disdain for gay people has probably run across the concept at some point.
Without getting too complicated, considering I barely skimmed the news source, I give you a couple of links.
Roy Ashburn, a Senator from California apparently has a voting record that tends to deny gay people equality. I honestly didn't read that much about the guy, so I'm taking The Advocate's word for it. That isn't really the point. The thing is, the guy's gay. He got himself a nice DUI while taking an anonymous male home from a gay bar. Days later he admitted that he's gay.
According to another article in The Advocate a blogger plans to out any number of politicians if they vote against something or other that also isn't the point. It's the idea of forced outing that is the whole point but sort of juxtaposed against the idea of anti gay politics coming from closeted gay people, which has happened before. Larry Craig would of course be a prime example.
With first hand experience I can tell you that the closet is a horrible place, but I can't for the life of me imagine a way that I could justify animosity toward gay people who were out.
That's a lie. On some level I can see a place where, from in the closet, my own jealousy might cause problems. Really it would depend on the reasons we find ourselves in the closet. We're all in for very personal reasons.
I also have to wonder how a closeted politician gets to a point where they are basically known, on some level in whatever town they spend most of their time, as gay, but they are able to remain closeted to the people who rely on them for political representation.
So, is it right or okay to out someone? That's really the basic question. Is it ever? Is it never? Are their circumstances that effect the decision?
Can we weight the question with factors such as the person's place in a political machine that often works to undermine efforts seen by many people as an attempt to achieve equality for a group of people that the person is also secretly a member of?
How do you weight for the what it does to a person and their family?
I want to argue that it's always for the best when a gay person comes out of the closet. It doesn't fix things really. It doesn't make your life immediately all it could have been. There's still miles uphill to slog, and we all have our own hill anyway. Throw in being secretly gay while casting votes in the senate to deprive gay people of the simple fact of being treated as equal, and you've created a whole new bunch of circumstances for yourself.
In the end, if you go out of your way to tell people not to do what you do in fact do then perhaps it's best that we all get to know that you do in fact do what you strike so forcefully against.
Without getting too complicated, considering I barely skimmed the news source, I give you a couple of links.
Roy Ashburn, a Senator from California apparently has a voting record that tends to deny gay people equality. I honestly didn't read that much about the guy, so I'm taking The Advocate's word for it. That isn't really the point. The thing is, the guy's gay. He got himself a nice DUI while taking an anonymous male home from a gay bar. Days later he admitted that he's gay.
According to another article in The Advocate a blogger plans to out any number of politicians if they vote against something or other that also isn't the point. It's the idea of forced outing that is the whole point but sort of juxtaposed against the idea of anti gay politics coming from closeted gay people, which has happened before. Larry Craig would of course be a prime example.
With first hand experience I can tell you that the closet is a horrible place, but I can't for the life of me imagine a way that I could justify animosity toward gay people who were out.
That's a lie. On some level I can see a place where, from in the closet, my own jealousy might cause problems. Really it would depend on the reasons we find ourselves in the closet. We're all in for very personal reasons.
I also have to wonder how a closeted politician gets to a point where they are basically known, on some level in whatever town they spend most of their time, as gay, but they are able to remain closeted to the people who rely on them for political representation.
So, is it right or okay to out someone? That's really the basic question. Is it ever? Is it never? Are their circumstances that effect the decision?
Can we weight the question with factors such as the person's place in a political machine that often works to undermine efforts seen by many people as an attempt to achieve equality for a group of people that the person is also secretly a member of?
How do you weight for the what it does to a person and their family?
I want to argue that it's always for the best when a gay person comes out of the closet. It doesn't fix things really. It doesn't make your life immediately all it could have been. There's still miles uphill to slog, and we all have our own hill anyway. Throw in being secretly gay while casting votes in the senate to deprive gay people of the simple fact of being treated as equal, and you've created a whole new bunch of circumstances for yourself.
In the end, if you go out of your way to tell people not to do what you do in fact do then perhaps it's best that we all get to know that you do in fact do what you strike so forcefully against.
Monday, August 24, 2009
hate at first sight
I am so tired right now and would like nothing more than to lay down and take a nap, but if I do that I ruin my night.
Have I mentioned that I hate naps? They just don't work for me. I wake up grumpy and a little disoriented and usually find I've slept longer than I wanted. Also, the only time I really feel like napping is when I'm consistently not getting enough sleep for enough days, and the nap only means I'll be awake later in the night than I want.
I have a whole pile in my reader that I'm not going to read right now. We went to Hot Springs NC for a quick camping trip this weekend, we being me and a a niece and the friend of said niece who drove up to hang out for the weekend. We met Momma and the boys there as well as some other friends and a couple of people I didn't know.
Of the people I didn't know, one was a cool girl and her daughter. I liked them well enough, but the guy she brought with her, a guy I can only assume is the boyfriend, was the reason my camping trip was completely ruined.
This guy was stumbling around in complete drunken black out mode, was going through people's things, stealing beer, playing his music too loud, falling into/onto tents and saying things that he would never have said sober. Apparently he's in AA, but if you don't not drink then AA aint gonna do shit for you.
In situations like this I tend to find myself growing protective of my people, and when the people present are family and/or younger people, I get more protective. I did what I could with the douche bag guy, but at that point there wasn't much I could do. I pretty much just had to hang out until he crawled into his tent for the last time
I'd arrived fairly late to the campground having worked that morning, and douche bag guy was well into being drunk, though at first it didn't seem soooo bad. He was obnoxious enough of course, but I didn't really get the full effect till a little later.
Anyway, not to go into the whole story, but the guy completely ruined the camping trip for me. Even the next day, when he was sober and hearing about what he had done the night before I still couldn't bring myself to feel anything other than desire for him to be away. His apologies for his antics sounded as if they'd been pulled out and used a number of times over the years, and I'm sure they have.
I've known people like this before, people for whom alcoholism is like a monster side of them that crawls out and takes their control. They act like fools and are annoying and offensive, and sometimes you can walk away and let them self destruct on their own. You can't help them because they aren't going to take help they aren't ready for, and they feel something like remorse when sober they are made to face their actions, but on some level it's still a sham. They are going to drink again, and they are going to be assholes again, and then they are going to do it again.
The next day douche bag guy hung back as the group that was going tubing set off up the trail. He acted as if he needed or forgot something. I was not tubing and was sitting away from the coolers watching random children. I heard a cooler open behind me and turned to see douche bag guy feeling around inside it. He didn't see me because his eyes were set on another of our group. Douche bag guy was watching the wrong person and continued to do so as he then went into my cooler.
I let him steal the beer and warned the friends that he was drinking again and stealing beer, and if I had animosity for this guy before it was all I had for him by this point. I decided it wasn't worth the trouble especially since I wasn't going to be there much long. Niece and niece's friend needed to get back to my town and their car and start their long trek back home.
And that's the story of my weekend mostly. I did go out for a bit last night, met up with some friends, played some pool and some foosball, lost all games played. It was mildly redemptive, if that's even the proper use of that, but it sounds good, so I'm leaving it. I know what I mean.
Have I mentioned that I hate naps? They just don't work for me. I wake up grumpy and a little disoriented and usually find I've slept longer than I wanted. Also, the only time I really feel like napping is when I'm consistently not getting enough sleep for enough days, and the nap only means I'll be awake later in the night than I want.
I have a whole pile in my reader that I'm not going to read right now. We went to Hot Springs NC for a quick camping trip this weekend, we being me and a a niece and the friend of said niece who drove up to hang out for the weekend. We met Momma and the boys there as well as some other friends and a couple of people I didn't know.
Of the people I didn't know, one was a cool girl and her daughter. I liked them well enough, but the guy she brought with her, a guy I can only assume is the boyfriend, was the reason my camping trip was completely ruined.
This guy was stumbling around in complete drunken black out mode, was going through people's things, stealing beer, playing his music too loud, falling into/onto tents and saying things that he would never have said sober. Apparently he's in AA, but if you don't not drink then AA aint gonna do shit for you.
In situations like this I tend to find myself growing protective of my people, and when the people present are family and/or younger people, I get more protective. I did what I could with the douche bag guy, but at that point there wasn't much I could do. I pretty much just had to hang out until he crawled into his tent for the last time
I'd arrived fairly late to the campground having worked that morning, and douche bag guy was well into being drunk, though at first it didn't seem soooo bad. He was obnoxious enough of course, but I didn't really get the full effect till a little later.
Anyway, not to go into the whole story, but the guy completely ruined the camping trip for me. Even the next day, when he was sober and hearing about what he had done the night before I still couldn't bring myself to feel anything other than desire for him to be away. His apologies for his antics sounded as if they'd been pulled out and used a number of times over the years, and I'm sure they have.
I've known people like this before, people for whom alcoholism is like a monster side of them that crawls out and takes their control. They act like fools and are annoying and offensive, and sometimes you can walk away and let them self destruct on their own. You can't help them because they aren't going to take help they aren't ready for, and they feel something like remorse when sober they are made to face their actions, but on some level it's still a sham. They are going to drink again, and they are going to be assholes again, and then they are going to do it again.
The next day douche bag guy hung back as the group that was going tubing set off up the trail. He acted as if he needed or forgot something. I was not tubing and was sitting away from the coolers watching random children. I heard a cooler open behind me and turned to see douche bag guy feeling around inside it. He didn't see me because his eyes were set on another of our group. Douche bag guy was watching the wrong person and continued to do so as he then went into my cooler.
I let him steal the beer and warned the friends that he was drinking again and stealing beer, and if I had animosity for this guy before it was all I had for him by this point. I decided it wasn't worth the trouble especially since I wasn't going to be there much long. Niece and niece's friend needed to get back to my town and their car and start their long trek back home.
And that's the story of my weekend mostly. I did go out for a bit last night, met up with some friends, played some pool and some foosball, lost all games played. It was mildly redemptive, if that's even the proper use of that, but it sounds good, so I'm leaving it. I know what I mean.
Friday, May 22, 2009
tiny balls
Given different circumstances my night could have turned out any number of ways. I'd gone to the gay bar to meet the guy I keep mentioning. We hung out for a bit, talked, laughed, discussed the drag queens.
He needed to get home, and I was getting texts from a friend wanting me to meet her for a drink. The guy and I left, walking to his car. We talked for another few minutes and admired the interior of a soon to be new restaurant that hasn't yet opened, though I'm not sure why. The inside certainly looked as if they were just closed for the night.
We finally parted ways but not before sharing a very brief kiss, a talk-to-you-soon sort of kiss. And then the car full of assholes ran a red light just behind us. They yelled something unintelligible at us, extended their middle fingers out of their windows and accelerated away.
It should have been more annoying that it was, maybe even a little hurtful that a car full of douche bags can't just leave people alone. I could easily see that the car was in fact full, four stupid heads bouncing around inside, but as they greeted us with their tiny little minds I realized that the stomp on the gas pedal really also indicated that their balls are also rather tiny.
Anyone can yell from a speeding car. Anyone can flip you off because they think they deserve to deride anyone they feel superior to.
Of course had they chosen to stop and do something more physical the guy and I could easily have made it back across the street to the bar which likely would have emptied somewhat in a cloud of fags and drag queens. And still nothing would have happened anymore than the tiny minds speeding off and away.
Yes, I know it can be dangerous out there and that I should be careful. I also know how fortunate I am that it's now and not years ago when I would have been even less safe. I get what has happened to too many gay people. But I also refuse to be intimidated.
He needed to get home, and I was getting texts from a friend wanting me to meet her for a drink. The guy and I left, walking to his car. We talked for another few minutes and admired the interior of a soon to be new restaurant that hasn't yet opened, though I'm not sure why. The inside certainly looked as if they were just closed for the night.
We finally parted ways but not before sharing a very brief kiss, a talk-to-you-soon sort of kiss. And then the car full of assholes ran a red light just behind us. They yelled something unintelligible at us, extended their middle fingers out of their windows and accelerated away.
It should have been more annoying that it was, maybe even a little hurtful that a car full of douche bags can't just leave people alone. I could easily see that the car was in fact full, four stupid heads bouncing around inside, but as they greeted us with their tiny little minds I realized that the stomp on the gas pedal really also indicated that their balls are also rather tiny.
Anyone can yell from a speeding car. Anyone can flip you off because they think they deserve to deride anyone they feel superior to.
Of course had they chosen to stop and do something more physical the guy and I could easily have made it back across the street to the bar which likely would have emptied somewhat in a cloud of fags and drag queens. And still nothing would have happened anymore than the tiny minds speeding off and away.
Yes, I know it can be dangerous out there and that I should be careful. I also know how fortunate I am that it's now and not years ago when I would have been even less safe. I get what has happened to too many gay people. But I also refuse to be intimidated.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
smooth criminal
Perhaps I've mentioned here, though I don't remember, but I'm having some minor car issues lately. My front, driver side window refuses to roll up. It will roll down, and it did actually roll up a couple of times last week, but no more. I have a big orange garbage bag that rides around and acts as my window when I have to park my car outside.
After work last night I met up with a nice and very attractive young man, and we went to a couple of bars and drank a couple of beers. I rode in his truck to one of the bars, and he drove me back to my car at the end of the night.
As he parked next to my car I noticed my doors were unlocked. Yes, even though it's useless to do so, I find myself locking the doors. It was parked in the garage nearest the square, and since it's inside basically I didn't bother to put my orange window up. It seems like that might make my issue more noticeable and more attractive to would be thieves.
I exited the truck of the nice and attractive guy to get into my car and noticed that the ash tray had been pulled out and dumped on the passenger seat. I should add that I've removed anything of value from the car, and I've even begun carrying a bag so that I can carry my cd's and my stereo front with me when the car is parked in public.
I should also point out that the ash tray was probably open and that I roll my own cigarettes. I'm guessing that someone noticed the open window and then noticed what looked like roaches, marijuana cigarette butts for those not down with drug lingo.
So they found nothing of value. I have to almost laugh a little, but at the same time there's also some amount of violation involved. Someone thinks it's okay to mess with my stuff and try to steal my stuff. I'm sure a working and rolled up window would have dissuaded them, but I don't know. Someone's car was apparently broken into near mine as there was glass on the ground.
And this is why we just can't have nice things. Some asshole is always on the lookout for your stuff. So, to the douchebag who got in my car, HAHA you prick! You got shit, motherfucker!
Oh, and the guy in the truck? He's nice, and he's cute, and he seems to like me. I think I seems to like him as well, and that's all the info you're getting right now.
After work last night I met up with a nice and very attractive young man, and we went to a couple of bars and drank a couple of beers. I rode in his truck to one of the bars, and he drove me back to my car at the end of the night.
As he parked next to my car I noticed my doors were unlocked. Yes, even though it's useless to do so, I find myself locking the doors. It was parked in the garage nearest the square, and since it's inside basically I didn't bother to put my orange window up. It seems like that might make my issue more noticeable and more attractive to would be thieves.
I exited the truck of the nice and attractive guy to get into my car and noticed that the ash tray had been pulled out and dumped on the passenger seat. I should add that I've removed anything of value from the car, and I've even begun carrying a bag so that I can carry my cd's and my stereo front with me when the car is parked in public.
I should also point out that the ash tray was probably open and that I roll my own cigarettes. I'm guessing that someone noticed the open window and then noticed what looked like roaches, marijuana cigarette butts for those not down with drug lingo.
So they found nothing of value. I have to almost laugh a little, but at the same time there's also some amount of violation involved. Someone thinks it's okay to mess with my stuff and try to steal my stuff. I'm sure a working and rolled up window would have dissuaded them, but I don't know. Someone's car was apparently broken into near mine as there was glass on the ground.
And this is why we just can't have nice things. Some asshole is always on the lookout for your stuff. So, to the douchebag who got in my car, HAHA you prick! You got shit, motherfucker!
Oh, and the guy in the truck? He's nice, and he's cute, and he seems to like me. I think I seems to like him as well, and that's all the info you're getting right now.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Dear Perez Hilton . . .
. . . or whatever your real name is, please shut the fuck up already.
Really, I didn't want to blog about this, and I'm sure we've all heard the story enough times. Miss California, as part of the Miss America pageant for girls who can walk and look pretty at the same time, was asked by celebrity slander blogger Perez Hilton for her opinion on same sex marriage. Miss CA bumbled her way through an attempt at an answer and only managed to give us a new term "opposite marriage" to describe those unions of heterosexuals. The gist of it was she's unsupportive of marriage equality.
Mr. Hilton, the blogger famous for . . . uh . . . mmm . . . drawing on pictures of young media starlets? I think? decided to call Miss CA some less than nice names. The right leaning media picked up on it, and suddenly the mouthy douche blogger is the voice of gay America?
We have Joe Solmonese and Michelangelo Signorile and many more intelligent and thoughtful people who are willing and have been willing to speak for us in an intelligent and thoughtful manner. We have blogs like Good As You and Box Turtle Bulletin to give us gay related news stories and present our side in, you guessed it, an intelligent and thoughtful manner.
So, for all our sakes, Perez Hilton won't you please go back to whatever you were doing before? Go on The View and snark about barely adult girls in too little clothing, or maybe go on some celebrity "news" shows and badmouth boy bands. Honestly, I haven't thought as much about you in the couple of years I've known of you as I've been forced to in the past week, and I'm about sick of it.
Yes, I know I'm foul mouthed and say rude things, but I do it on my blog. If I was somehow on national television, I'd like to think I could better represent my people, and I'd damn well do my best to do it in a manner that is both intelligent and thoughtful. Wow, those two words again.
So, in closing, please, if you have any respect for equality and the idea of gays being seen as equal and deserving, please, Perez Hilton, shut the ever loving fuck up already. Please?
Really, I didn't want to blog about this, and I'm sure we've all heard the story enough times. Miss California, as part of the Miss America pageant for girls who can walk and look pretty at the same time, was asked by celebrity slander blogger Perez Hilton for her opinion on same sex marriage. Miss CA bumbled her way through an attempt at an answer and only managed to give us a new term "opposite marriage" to describe those unions of heterosexuals. The gist of it was she's unsupportive of marriage equality.
Mr. Hilton, the blogger famous for . . . uh . . . mmm . . . drawing on pictures of young media starlets? I think? decided to call Miss CA some less than nice names. The right leaning media picked up on it, and suddenly the mouthy douche blogger is the voice of gay America?
We have Joe Solmonese and Michelangelo Signorile and many more intelligent and thoughtful people who are willing and have been willing to speak for us in an intelligent and thoughtful manner. We have blogs like Good As You and Box Turtle Bulletin to give us gay related news stories and present our side in, you guessed it, an intelligent and thoughtful manner.
So, for all our sakes, Perez Hilton won't you please go back to whatever you were doing before? Go on The View and snark about barely adult girls in too little clothing, or maybe go on some celebrity "news" shows and badmouth boy bands. Honestly, I haven't thought as much about you in the couple of years I've known of you as I've been forced to in the past week, and I'm about sick of it.
Yes, I know I'm foul mouthed and say rude things, but I do it on my blog. If I was somehow on national television, I'd like to think I could better represent my people, and I'd damn well do my best to do it in a manner that is both intelligent and thoughtful. Wow, those two words again.
So, in closing, please, if you have any respect for equality and the idea of gays being seen as equal and deserving, please, Perez Hilton, shut the ever loving fuck up already. Please?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
grrr!
In the last two weeks, two young boys, boys very near the age of Big Brother (my oldest son for any new readers) have committed suicide. These two children killed themselves because they were tired of being bullied and harassed.
They were tired of other kids being mean to them, and they had dealt with it so much that, at eleven years old, the only solution they could come up with was suicide.
What was the majority of the slander they dealt with? They were being called gay and were referred to as faggots. Were they faggots? Were they gay? Does it fucking matter when you are eleven years old?
How is this okay?
To anyone who thinks that homosexuality is a sin or is wrong, how can you possibly explain away the sort of bias that would drive an eleven year old child to kill himself? I don't care what you think at this point. I don't care what you think about me. I'm gay. I'm a faggot. Condemn me all you want. If your god really loved I think there's a good chance that he would take it a little easier on children who don't even know what sex is but are being damned anyway.
Read your fucking gospels already. Read your blessed are the meek. Read your blessed are the peacemakers, and then show me where the verse is that reads blessed are those that drive children to kill themselves.
Enough already.
P.S. if you don't know about the stories to which I refer at the beginning of this post then try using Google. Seriously, google the words "gay suicide" and see what you come up with. Hell, you don't even have to google it yourself. I made you a handy link. It's as easy as clicking.
They were tired of other kids being mean to them, and they had dealt with it so much that, at eleven years old, the only solution they could come up with was suicide.
What was the majority of the slander they dealt with? They were being called gay and were referred to as faggots. Were they faggots? Were they gay? Does it fucking matter when you are eleven years old?
How is this okay?
To anyone who thinks that homosexuality is a sin or is wrong, how can you possibly explain away the sort of bias that would drive an eleven year old child to kill himself? I don't care what you think at this point. I don't care what you think about me. I'm gay. I'm a faggot. Condemn me all you want. If your god really loved I think there's a good chance that he would take it a little easier on children who don't even know what sex is but are being damned anyway.
Read your fucking gospels already. Read your blessed are the meek. Read your blessed are the peacemakers, and then show me where the verse is that reads blessed are those that drive children to kill themselves.
Enough already.
P.S. if you don't know about the stories to which I refer at the beginning of this post then try using Google. Seriously, google the words "gay suicide" and see what you come up with. Hell, you don't even have to google it yourself. I made you a handy link. It's as easy as clicking.
Friday, December 19, 2008
not to put too fina a point on it
Via Box Turtle Bulletin
I get a preacher who compares me to perverts given the privilege of representing those like himself, but to actually represent me? Yeah, a band, one of many bands.
I'm happy there will be fags, and I love marching bands, but seriously, once again, fuck you Obama.
And, not to hammer the point home, but this is pretty much what I've come to expect. If I want gay in my life I have to go out of my way to find it. I don't run across gay just living and being. I don't see me represented on t.v. or in movies unless it's to make a point, but I never seem to just see plain old people who happen to be gay and are represented as normal. Okay, there's Michael Chabon, an amazing author, and there's specifically gay stuff, but where am I represented as just plain ol' normal nondescript me?
Seriously, I'm getting fucking fed up. At this point I'm just trying to live and make sense of my world. I would be sooo fucking happy to think I had a chance at finding love, a chance to make some progress, a chance to just be me and be okay. And once again I'm tossed a hand full of shit and expected to choke it down with a smile.
I want this to end. I want this to stop being an issue. I want to be okay.
Yes, the representation that gay people will have at the inauguration will be a gay marching band included among the couple dozen bands that will march down Pennsylvania Avenue after the swearing in ceremony.Make sure you go to the Box Turtle Bulletin link, because they say it really well. Then put them in your blog reader. Pay attention to why we are not as gay(happy) as we could be.
I get a preacher who compares me to perverts given the privilege of representing those like himself, but to actually represent me? Yeah, a band, one of many bands.
I'm happy there will be fags, and I love marching bands, but seriously, once again, fuck you Obama.
And, not to hammer the point home, but this is pretty much what I've come to expect. If I want gay in my life I have to go out of my way to find it. I don't run across gay just living and being. I don't see me represented on t.v. or in movies unless it's to make a point, but I never seem to just see plain old people who happen to be gay and are represented as normal. Okay, there's Michael Chabon, an amazing author, and there's specifically gay stuff, but where am I represented as just plain ol' normal nondescript me?
Seriously, I'm getting fucking fed up. At this point I'm just trying to live and make sense of my world. I would be sooo fucking happy to think I had a chance at finding love, a chance to make some progress, a chance to just be me and be okay. And once again I'm tossed a hand full of shit and expected to choke it down with a smile.
I want this to end. I want this to stop being an issue. I want to be okay.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
does it ever stop?
Here begins attempt number two to get my thoughts in order, to express the feelings swirling in my head right now.
If, like my other reader, you don't live under a rock, you probably know that Rick Warren has been invited to give the invocation during Obama's inauguration. If you know this, then you probably also know that, according to Warren, as a gay man, I am no better than a pedophile.
I'm not linking to all the sources I could. As a blogger I probably should, but as a blog reader you can very easily google that shit and find it. It's been covered by plenty of other people by now. I'm just not bothering.
I'm angry and I'm hurt and I'm sad. I've dealt with hurt and sad so much lately that it all turns back into anger, and I end up back where I started.
If you've been reading here then you know the story, you know the years I've spent denying myself that tiny bit of freedom that being gay is. I hid my truth for years, hid from you, from me, from my wife, from my friends. I finally gave myself that little bit of an opening and came out. It has caused hurt and sadness and anger. It has forced my life to change, and working through that change is yet more hurt and sadness and anger. And really it's all just one gay man's attempt to try to work toward making his/my life what it's supposed to be. It's just me trying like hell to find my way in this world.
And even when I think maybe I'm done, maybe I'm on my way to a better place, it feels like getting slapped in the face. I voted for Obama, and now he is willing to have a religious rite performed during his civil celebration by a man who compares my very existence as a gay man to being a pedophile.
Really, all the response I have right now is a middle finger and a "fuck you" to both Obama and Warren. I feel like I've been played. I feel like, once again, gay people are only worth what you are willing to take from us. Vote? sure you'll take that if it gets you where you want. Equality? Acceptance? Basic civility? Respect? Is it really so much to ask?
If, like my other reader, you don't live under a rock, you probably know that Rick Warren has been invited to give the invocation during Obama's inauguration. If you know this, then you probably also know that, according to Warren, as a gay man, I am no better than a pedophile.
I'm not linking to all the sources I could. As a blogger I probably should, but as a blog reader you can very easily google that shit and find it. It's been covered by plenty of other people by now. I'm just not bothering.
I'm angry and I'm hurt and I'm sad. I've dealt with hurt and sad so much lately that it all turns back into anger, and I end up back where I started.
If you've been reading here then you know the story, you know the years I've spent denying myself that tiny bit of freedom that being gay is. I hid my truth for years, hid from you, from me, from my wife, from my friends. I finally gave myself that little bit of an opening and came out. It has caused hurt and sadness and anger. It has forced my life to change, and working through that change is yet more hurt and sadness and anger. And really it's all just one gay man's attempt to try to work toward making his/my life what it's supposed to be. It's just me trying like hell to find my way in this world.
And even when I think maybe I'm done, maybe I'm on my way to a better place, it feels like getting slapped in the face. I voted for Obama, and now he is willing to have a religious rite performed during his civil celebration by a man who compares my very existence as a gay man to being a pedophile.
Really, all the response I have right now is a middle finger and a "fuck you" to both Obama and Warren. I feel like I've been played. I feel like, once again, gay people are only worth what you are willing to take from us. Vote? sure you'll take that if it gets you where you want. Equality? Acceptance? Basic civility? Respect? Is it really so much to ask?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
real men don't what?
Have I told you how much I hate the newish Hardee's commercial? I'm sure you've seen it, a bunch of really guy guys sitting around watching t.v., what we are led to believe is some sort of Nascar like event.
They are verbally noting their opinion of the race as it takes place, and they are most likely bonding in a male-centric sort of way. It's quite likely the sort of thing guys do when they're left to their own guy ways. There are certainly no chics around to kill their collective buzz.
And then another friend enters the scene, approaching the real men with a pan of biscuits we can only assume that he himself has just baked. For some reason his biscuits appear formed in a fast food restaurant; they just have that look about them, but I suppose we are not meant to notice that. And it isn't really part of why we're here.
The friend offers the guys a fresh baked biscuit, and they all turn to him with a sort of astonishment in their eyes. It is quite obvious that we are supposed to agree with them, to wonder why their friend is offering something like biscuits.
And then the voice over cements our opinion by telling us that, "Guys don't bake." And of course it becomes clear. "Real men" don't make biscuits and offer them to their friends. That's the sign of something not man like. We should now doubt the masculinity of this biscuit offering man shaped person.
I have the following to say to Hardee's:
Fuck you! I'm man enough and make a damn fine biscuit. I do in fact enjoy making biscuits, and I'm quite proud of my ability.
So, in conclusion, fuck Hardee's. Biscuits=good, and hot guys bringing biscuits=also good.
They are verbally noting their opinion of the race as it takes place, and they are most likely bonding in a male-centric sort of way. It's quite likely the sort of thing guys do when they're left to their own guy ways. There are certainly no chics around to kill their collective buzz.
And then another friend enters the scene, approaching the real men with a pan of biscuits we can only assume that he himself has just baked. For some reason his biscuits appear formed in a fast food restaurant; they just have that look about them, but I suppose we are not meant to notice that. And it isn't really part of why we're here.
The friend offers the guys a fresh baked biscuit, and they all turn to him with a sort of astonishment in their eyes. It is quite obvious that we are supposed to agree with them, to wonder why their friend is offering something like biscuits.
And then the voice over cements our opinion by telling us that, "Guys don't bake." And of course it becomes clear. "Real men" don't make biscuits and offer them to their friends. That's the sign of something not man like. We should now doubt the masculinity of this biscuit offering man shaped person.
I have the following to say to Hardee's:
Fuck you! I'm man enough and make a damn fine biscuit. I do in fact enjoy making biscuits, and I'm quite proud of my ability.
So, in conclusion, fuck Hardee's. Biscuits=good, and hot guys bringing biscuits=also good.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
thanks for that
The place I worked till recently is in the Old City, one of the oldest parts of our town, the place that was once known as the bowery, the place that was built on a swamp, the place that people from the west side of town think is full of whores and pickpockets and muggers and . . .
You get the picture.
I may be forgetting somewhere, but counting in my head I've come up with at least nine different restaurant/bars, though only one of them is my usual, my default, my watering hole. It's been a place that has been friendly to me over the years.
Rewind your calender to a mere few days ago when I was there, early in the evening, the only (and I do mean only) customer sitting at the bar. The place does decent business later at night, but I was there early. The only people besides me at the bar were the owner and the bartender.
I worked at this place for a couple of weeks before taking a better paying/more hours job at the place I worked till recently, and all of this really is part of the point. I really am going somewhere with this.
I quit this bar on decent terms, giving them a full two weeks notice, and the owner seemed pleased with my work. He and I, while not bosom buddies, have remained on fairly friendly terms. I stop when I see him, he stops, we chat for a moment, hail and farewell and all that shit.
So back to sitting solo at the bar, and I'm talking to the owner. He inquires about the job and how I like the place I left him for, and without giving it too much thought I give him my honest opinion.
-the place isn't being run well
-the owners don't really know what they are doing
-the son of one of the owners who does the day to day running of the business is a dumbass and doesn't quite pay attention to what he needs to be doing
-they neglect the many years of experience the kitchen staff has and choose to run the place poorly
-they won't be open a year from now
-the prices are much too high for the location
-they've priced themselves out of business
-they are resorting to some questionable specials in order to try to make money
That last one I will use as an example of what is so wrong with the place. Picture if you will a restaurant trying to be a slightly upscale version of a British pub. Now imagine if you will that they institute a "ladies night" to attempt to bring in business. Yeah, that kind of thing.
Apparently the ex-boss ran into my more new ex-boss at a city council meeting and, in front of any number of local bigwigs and wannabes, told him all that I said. New ex-boss decides to let me go, and he does it in a way in which one can certainly be proud. He took me off the schedule and then said absolutely nothing to me about it.
So how did I found out I'd been fired? After dropping Momma off at work this morning, as I was about to pull away from the place, I realized her phone had slipped out of her pocket. I turned the car off, walked inside to find her and decided to look at the schedule. I was not on it. I don't mean my name and schedule were crossed off, as usually happens when someone gets fired from a restaurant. They completely remade the schedule so that my name didn't even exist.
Several hours later an ex-coworker called to tell me that, indeed, I had been let go. It was then that I heard the story I just related. I was fired because one ex-boss ran his mouth and made a joke out of what I'd told him, me assuming some amount of something not unlike confidentiality. My new ex-boss was quite embarassed, or so I was told. In a rousing feat of standing up and being a man he had someone else do his dirty work and actually call me and speak to me personally.
The sad part, beyond that my newest ex-boss is what we often call a bitch, a friend with no reason to have to was the person to relay the news, a friend with enough issues of his own regarding this place, who has already been screwed over by my new ex-boss. Yeah, he had to start his day like that.
That's my story for the day. It isn't a pretty story, but, all things considered, what's one more weight piled onto me? I'm sure I can take more. I'm not broke enough.
And to the sorry ass that fired me, sorry Mr. N that your pride got hurt, but seriously, you have no more business running a restaurant than I have performing surgery.
You get the picture.
I may be forgetting somewhere, but counting in my head I've come up with at least nine different restaurant/bars, though only one of them is my usual, my default, my watering hole. It's been a place that has been friendly to me over the years.
Rewind your calender to a mere few days ago when I was there, early in the evening, the only (and I do mean only) customer sitting at the bar. The place does decent business later at night, but I was there early. The only people besides me at the bar were the owner and the bartender.
I worked at this place for a couple of weeks before taking a better paying/more hours job at the place I worked till recently, and all of this really is part of the point. I really am going somewhere with this.
I quit this bar on decent terms, giving them a full two weeks notice, and the owner seemed pleased with my work. He and I, while not bosom buddies, have remained on fairly friendly terms. I stop when I see him, he stops, we chat for a moment, hail and farewell and all that shit.
So back to sitting solo at the bar, and I'm talking to the owner. He inquires about the job and how I like the place I left him for, and without giving it too much thought I give him my honest opinion.
-the place isn't being run well
-the owners don't really know what they are doing
-the son of one of the owners who does the day to day running of the business is a dumbass and doesn't quite pay attention to what he needs to be doing
-they neglect the many years of experience the kitchen staff has and choose to run the place poorly
-they won't be open a year from now
-the prices are much too high for the location
-they've priced themselves out of business
-they are resorting to some questionable specials in order to try to make money
That last one I will use as an example of what is so wrong with the place. Picture if you will a restaurant trying to be a slightly upscale version of a British pub. Now imagine if you will that they institute a "ladies night" to attempt to bring in business. Yeah, that kind of thing.
Apparently the ex-boss ran into my more new ex-boss at a city council meeting and, in front of any number of local bigwigs and wannabes, told him all that I said. New ex-boss decides to let me go, and he does it in a way in which one can certainly be proud. He took me off the schedule and then said absolutely nothing to me about it.
So how did I found out I'd been fired? After dropping Momma off at work this morning, as I was about to pull away from the place, I realized her phone had slipped out of her pocket. I turned the car off, walked inside to find her and decided to look at the schedule. I was not on it. I don't mean my name and schedule were crossed off, as usually happens when someone gets fired from a restaurant. They completely remade the schedule so that my name didn't even exist.
Several hours later an ex-coworker called to tell me that, indeed, I had been let go. It was then that I heard the story I just related. I was fired because one ex-boss ran his mouth and made a joke out of what I'd told him, me assuming some amount of something not unlike confidentiality. My new ex-boss was quite embarassed, or so I was told. In a rousing feat of standing up and being a man he had someone else do his dirty work and actually call me and speak to me personally.
The sad part, beyond that my newest ex-boss is what we often call a bitch, a friend with no reason to have to was the person to relay the news, a friend with enough issues of his own regarding this place, who has already been screwed over by my new ex-boss. Yeah, he had to start his day like that.
That's my story for the day. It isn't a pretty story, but, all things considered, what's one more weight piled onto me? I'm sure I can take more. I'm not broke enough.
And to the sorry ass that fired me, sorry Mr. N that your pride got hurt, but seriously, you have no more business running a restaurant than I have performing surgery.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
aggravation
The neighbor who hates my grass is calling the city again, or so I assume, and I don't know exactly which neighbor, though I have an idea. This time there's a twist.
Momma's grandfather got a letter very recently saying that he had till tomorrow to mow the grass. It's been mowed, though it did once again grow over long because, once again, the mower didn't want to work.
Grandfather came over recently and got the mower working and the next day was on his way to Texas to visit family. The letter from the city had to have arrived at his house during the time he was away, and by the time he got to it, his ten days to rectify the situation had become two.
The grass is mowed and should be short enough, but he's convinced that he needs to mow it more. And that's just what he is doing. Momma tried to explain to him that we will happily mow again, but he insisted that he had to come mow. I took Momma to work, and now, when I should be adding a couple hours to the couple hours of sleep I got, I'm sitting here not sleeping and not doing shit else.
I only got two hours of sleep because I went to visit a boy after work last night. Nothing happened but lots of talking. I didn't even drink beer. None of that's the point, but it is why I need to be asleep right now and why I got only two hours of the precious stuff.
There are a few maintenance issues that we've overlooked around the house, things that very much need to be taken care of as well as some minor issues that are really more aesthetic. The grass is the main irritant in that I just don't care. There, I've said it. I really don't care about the grass. I'm more than willing to keep it short enough for the kids to be able to play, but the very back part where the rabbits live, well I'd just as soon let that part grow a little. It's not hurting anyone for my grass to be slightly longer than theirs.
There's the big pisser for me, that someone has so little to do that they can take the time to be upset that I'm less concerned about the appearance of my yard than they are. Someone who doesn't have to live my life or raise my children or whatever is forcing their ideals of proper lawn maintenance onto me. And yes I do realize that there are other concerns and that I'm somewhat simplifying the issue. Trust me, I don't give a shit.
Momma's grandfather got a letter very recently saying that he had till tomorrow to mow the grass. It's been mowed, though it did once again grow over long because, once again, the mower didn't want to work.
Grandfather came over recently and got the mower working and the next day was on his way to Texas to visit family. The letter from the city had to have arrived at his house during the time he was away, and by the time he got to it, his ten days to rectify the situation had become two.
The grass is mowed and should be short enough, but he's convinced that he needs to mow it more. And that's just what he is doing. Momma tried to explain to him that we will happily mow again, but he insisted that he had to come mow. I took Momma to work, and now, when I should be adding a couple hours to the couple hours of sleep I got, I'm sitting here not sleeping and not doing shit else.
I only got two hours of sleep because I went to visit a boy after work last night. Nothing happened but lots of talking. I didn't even drink beer. None of that's the point, but it is why I need to be asleep right now and why I got only two hours of the precious stuff.
There are a few maintenance issues that we've overlooked around the house, things that very much need to be taken care of as well as some minor issues that are really more aesthetic. The grass is the main irritant in that I just don't care. There, I've said it. I really don't care about the grass. I'm more than willing to keep it short enough for the kids to be able to play, but the very back part where the rabbits live, well I'd just as soon let that part grow a little. It's not hurting anyone for my grass to be slightly longer than theirs.
There's the big pisser for me, that someone has so little to do that they can take the time to be upset that I'm less concerned about the appearance of my yard than they are. Someone who doesn't have to live my life or raise my children or whatever is forcing their ideals of proper lawn maintenance onto me. And yes I do realize that there are other concerns and that I'm somewhat simplifying the issue. Trust me, I don't give a shit.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
I'd rather be
At the end of a recent post, Bigg said,
The first part of this quote has been stuck in my head since I read it, and it's been joined by another line that was said to me at work recently.
There's a guy there who is, while not especially fat, certainly contains a bonus share of girth. One of my first days I referred to him quite thoughtlessly as "biggun." I admit it was shitty, but to my lame credit, the moment he said something about it I stopped. I've even pointed out to another employee that it was sort of shitty to continue to refer to this person in terms of his weight issue.
This same large coworker was recently making jokes about my gayness. I truly don't want to be overly sensitive, and I don't expect the entire kitchen to restrain themselves. I understand fully that I work in a professional kitchen and that the norms of the environment require that we all be a bit thick skinned. But I also support the right of everyone to be able to feel safe and respected within that environment. I won't stand for racism or sexism at work, directed at me or at anyone else, and I also won't take homophobic comments.
I will remake the point regarding the environment. It's a kitchen. I understand and accept exactly what that means. I know the cucumber joke is going to come up, and I know I can either counter it with a snappy comeback neatly skewering the person making the joke, or I can fully agree with the comment and give them the shock that comes with that.
The large coworker, though I now don't recall what was said, was making comments that I felt were a little over the line. There was a certain intent in his voice that bothered me. I took a moment to remind him of the "biggun" day, pointing out that based on a single comment from him I had ceased making size based comments and had not made those comments since. If I thought that would help I was mistaken as his next comment proved . . .
The line that keeps running through my head much like a song that gets stuck, he said, "I'd rather be fat than gay." Of course I immediately told him I'd personally rather be gay, but how much can that really help when someone's opinion of you is automatically less based solely on such a minor detail as sexuality?
But that's the tragedy of being gay; not that we are so oppressed (because that's what makes you strong), but that there are so very few of us. Kinda makes me wish sometimes that we really could recruit the way the televangelists say we do, you know?
The first part of this quote has been stuck in my head since I read it, and it's been joined by another line that was said to me at work recently.
There's a guy there who is, while not especially fat, certainly contains a bonus share of girth. One of my first days I referred to him quite thoughtlessly as "biggun." I admit it was shitty, but to my lame credit, the moment he said something about it I stopped. I've even pointed out to another employee that it was sort of shitty to continue to refer to this person in terms of his weight issue.
This same large coworker was recently making jokes about my gayness. I truly don't want to be overly sensitive, and I don't expect the entire kitchen to restrain themselves. I understand fully that I work in a professional kitchen and that the norms of the environment require that we all be a bit thick skinned. But I also support the right of everyone to be able to feel safe and respected within that environment. I won't stand for racism or sexism at work, directed at me or at anyone else, and I also won't take homophobic comments.
I will remake the point regarding the environment. It's a kitchen. I understand and accept exactly what that means. I know the cucumber joke is going to come up, and I know I can either counter it with a snappy comeback neatly skewering the person making the joke, or I can fully agree with the comment and give them the shock that comes with that.
The large coworker, though I now don't recall what was said, was making comments that I felt were a little over the line. There was a certain intent in his voice that bothered me. I took a moment to remind him of the "biggun" day, pointing out that based on a single comment from him I had ceased making size based comments and had not made those comments since. If I thought that would help I was mistaken as his next comment proved . . .
The line that keeps running through my head much like a song that gets stuck, he said, "I'd rather be fat than gay." Of course I immediately told him I'd personally rather be gay, but how much can that really help when someone's opinion of you is automatically less based solely on such a minor detail as sexuality?
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