Wednesday, August 09, 2006

corporate shilling via the school

I just saw an interesting commercial for a Clorox product. Apparently we are so overcome with germs that we need a handy wipe that disinfects with one quick swipe. I've seen the commercials for this before, and I've scoffed at this product. I'm just curious how dirty people feel their homes are that this product sells.

The point of this particular rant isn't how corporations scare us into buying products we don't need. Hell, advertising is all about finding a way to convince people they need your product, so it's to be expected that they will attack from whichever directions makes the most sense based on what they are trying to foist on us.

In some cases, a new product is better for some reason. I hate dusting, but my newish duster on a stick works a lot better than the old tech for dusting, basically a bird's ass on a stick. This is a product that doesn't need too much pushing. But a wipe that basically makes things slightly cleaner might be a tougher sell.

But, if in the commercial for the sanitizing wipe we show kids, you know, dirty, filthy, germ laden kids, and if we show this kids wiping their noses and licking their fingers and sneezing indiscriminately, then we can show the wild and crazy germ transmission that is the natural byproduct of a child's existence. And if we set all this in a back-to-school setting, then you know these things will sell. And here's the capper, we can suggest in the commercial that good parents will buy this product and donate it to their child's school. Yeah, that'll push our sales and please the board. Sweet!

Yes, they do indeed suggest that we purchase their product and donate them to our schools. Of course, we trust this product, so we are certainly buying some for our own home. We are filthy people that live surrounded by germs. Thank Clorox there is some large corporation taking our made up by them concerns seriously.

Oh yeah, it's products like this that are responsible for the oncoming super bug that takes out half the population setting us all up for the final showdown between good and evil. Stephen King totally predicted this. Seriously.