Am I an apathetic person? There are certainly things I have concern for, people I love and care about, things I enjoy doing, but there is a certain level of apathy that I can't deny. There's still music that can move me, and there are still books that make my eyes a little leaky. But there's also that black area that often seems to be spreading like oil on the ocean.
My plan is not to plumb the depths of my depressing soul nor to discuss my fragile state of mind. It's not going to happen. I have had the quiz on my mind for a couple of days, the ideas of justice juxtaposed with feelings of apathy. I think the quiz hits me a little extra hard due to those two concepts coupled with my own current mindset. Recent situations that I've faced have caused me to think about fairness as well as my approach to life.
I have to admit to some amount of apathy over the course of the years, and I've looked at it before, somewhat dispassionately perhaps. I'm not suddenly awakening to my own apathy, but I'm faced with the same sort of thing that I butt up against and always have, that I just can't make myself care about a lot.
I'm not manic depressive, and I'm not leaning toward the bottle of pills or the blood filled bath tub. I am somewhat a depressed person, and given my current view, I'm thinking that perhaps I've always been this way but was never really forced to see it as such. Certainly there have been those really low times, those days long black moods, but I've always thought there was a reason, something causing it, lack of love or friends or perhaps just not able or wanting to see the truth.
And that's what the quiz's suggestion of apathy leads me to. I can see myself as apathetic in a sense, but I also wonder if it's not more than that. Maybe I just don't feel like caring. Maybe I just don't feel personally good enough to really give a shit about much else. I know that I have a running theme of not giving a shit about a lot of things, and I'm pretty happy with that. At some level I think unconcern is a healthy place to work from. I don't care what you look like, who you fuck or to whom you pray or even if you pray. But sometimes I also don't care if the big tree in the front yard were to blow over and crush me to death while I sat here pecking out my little screeds.
| You scored as Justice (Fairness). Your life is guided by the concept of Fair Justice: Everyone, yourself included, should be rewarded and punished according to the help or harm they cause.|
"He who does not punish evil commands it to be done."
--Leonardo da Vinci
“Though force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace.”
--Dwight D. Eisenhower
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What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
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