Tuesday, April 03, 2007


Dear female readers, do you own and/or wear a top that looks like this? Apparently it's called a something something tunic top or something, and it seems as though this is the top all the gals are wearing right now. This is another example of someone devious convincing women something is true when in fact it isn't.

Ladies, are you really so blind to what looks good that you're okay with this top? I'm afraid you've been deluded when you've convinced yourself that this top looks nice. This style of top is not flattering to anyone. It makes larger sized girls look even bigger while making smaller girls look pregnant.

Finally, it's just ugly. It's bad enough that it's such an unattractive fashion, and it's bad enough that girls don't realize they are making themselves look stupid, but the worst part in my opinion is that so damn many girls are wearing this shit. Couple these ugly tops with the big sunglasses and I'd almost rather move back to the '70's. At least back then they just hadn't yet invented better looks for people.

Seriously ladies, quit listening to your idiot friends. Girls convince each other of awful things in the hopes they can make the pretty friend the ugly friend, even if for just one night. That has to be the real explanation for such devastating ugliness as this top.

Thank you for your time.

UPDATE: While commenting to COD's comment, I remembered something even worse than the ugly tunic shirt, wearing pants under a dress. I'm not talking about those ugly shirts that are almost but not quite dress length. I'm talking about a real dress over pants. It looks stupid, dumb, ugly . . . did I say stupid?


COD said...

I got dragged out spring / summer clothes shopping two weekends ago. The Old Navy Outlet had a mannequin wearing layered polo shirts with the sleeves rolled up so that the color of the inner polo was on top. Of course, the collars were up.

I looked at my wife and said, "please tell me this is not back in style".

She could not comply.

It all comes back my friend. I'll take the neo hippie tunic look over preppie anyday.

samuel said...

COD, that reminds me of having to be at the mall recently and seeing the Polo section at one of the large stores. It's pretty much as you described, polos and pastel plaid prints. I'm certain the salesperson was too young to understand that some of us had seen all this before.

The neo hippy tunic is just so damn blisteringly ugly though.

Michele said...

Oh god. I do all that stuff. I like thos kinds of shirts because I think they look good across my boobs, and cover the muffin top. I didn't know that I looked like I was pregnant in them. I'm going to keep wearing them, cause I love the donuts so much. You can congratulate me when you see me on my upcoming bouncing baby. I'll call him Dunkin.

Jo said...

I had one of those shirts. I bought it to hide my flabby belly. Once I actually put it on I realized too that it just made me look pregnant so that completely defeated the purpose. LOL. I think the worst part of that stupid shirt was that it made my chest look even smaller which I didn't think was possible.

Gina said...

OMG! I saw a lady wearing--no lie--an ankle-length, Laura Ashley, prairie dress over jeans yesterday. She topped off her straight-outta-Vogue look with flip flops and a massive pair of Joan Collins' favorite 1983 glasses.

Can a real, live person be a caricature?

(And I refuse to wear the tunic you picture! Muffin top be damned, after losing 50+ pounds--most of them because I felt the need to fill out my actual maternity clothes--y'all will be seeing my waist! You are being allowed back out of parenthetical hell... now.)