There is the whole thing about liking guys, and there are so many guys that I kind of find myself being friends with. Then there are the ones when I have . . . something I can't describe.
There are the not gay guys that I meet and have a moment with, those guys that I think, if only they were gay.
I can think of two right now.
It can be hard to deal with them, knowing how much I like them, and knowing I have no chance with. I want to be able to be friends with them, but it's hard to not think about the reality that they are guys that, if they were gay, I might could have a relationship with them.
But they are not gay, and I have no chance at this thing I think could be.
Sometimes it really hard to deal with, trying to force myself to just be friends and not have feelings. But when can we control our feelings?