Monday, June 11, 2007


In keeping, at least for now, with the Monday Melee tradition, I present you now, on Monday no less, the melee. Enjoy!

1. The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) that you absolutely hate.
I hate when people treat life as a contest and try to outcool you by being more punk or more street or more anything. It sounds so completely silly to discuss, but I think we all know people like this. It's fanboy syndrome.

2. The Meretricious: Name something or someone that's phony, fraudulent or bogus.
county commission

3. The Malcontent: Name something you're unhappy with.
I need to do things differently day to day to make things better for my family, even things as simple as cleaning the house more regularly would help.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name them if you can.
Momma gets a metric shit ton of credit. She finally got tired of the damn credit card and took the time to figure out how we could pay it off. We now owe our bank a bit of money, but GM Mastercard will soon get the pay off and may then feel free to go fuck themselves. Thank you, Momma!

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
Though I really need a haircut, my hair isn't nearly as annoying as I remember it. It's been kept shaved for so many years that I've really forgotten what it's like to have it.

6. The Make believe: Name something you wish for.
An end to the procrastination that sees me not really working toward doing the writing I've told myself for years I was going to do.

you know

You know your four year old doesn't need to watch UFC when . . .

I don't really care what people let their kids watch, what video games their kids play, that sort of thing. The media your children enjoy is not nearly as important as having a parent there to help understand what's real and what's not, what's acceptable behavior and what's not.

Having said that, there is a point sometimes when you are given an example that perhaps your child isn't getting the parental input they need. And perhaps The Boy doesn't need to watch mixed martial arts fights. The sign was simple enough to read in glaring neon.

So, you know your four year old doesn't need to watch UFC when you're lying on the couch and he comes over because you tricked him into coming close enough for you to drag him onto the sofa for tickling and giggling and instead of all that, what you get is the hammer fist. Yes, my four year old tried to pull out the ol' ground and pound. It sucked more for him because if he's going for the hammer fist it's only natural that I get him in the guillotine and choke his little ass out.

Disclaimer: My son did not in fact actually attack me. He did, in a playing way, use the hammer fist just as he has seen done. I in fact did not choke him out nor did I use any other submission on him. The only submissions I use on my children involve the fact that I'm enough bigger to force access to their belly for tickling.

look at me

Shameless plug time. For whatever reasons, I get access to Beers Gone By where I get to talk about drinking beer. I can wax stupidic about anything, as you may well know, and to get to spread myself across the internet like butter on a biscuit is the dream I've followed these many years. Cross that with beer and you couldn't beat me off with a stick.

HehHeh, beat me off with a stick . . . I'm not saying don't try . . . or something.