Thursday, December 30, 2010

again with

The blog This is Fag City has only been in my reader for a short time.  I forget where I found him originally, which doesn't really matter, but I always like knowing these things.  Or maybe I don't really care until I realize I can't remember.

And like I said, it doesn't really matter.  What does matter is my bummer house.  It's a little woo for me, but I love the quote near the end of the post Fantasy Castle.  He is discussing mental attitudes and says, Trying not to make myself a bummer house cuz I do not want to live in a bummer house.  I want to live in a Fantasy Castle.

It ties in perfectly with my not resolutions, because this idea fits nicely at the core of my goal.  I'm not in a good place because the universe has always been out to get me, so I've always lived with that in mind.  But if the universe isn't really out to get me, and if it's okay to maybe imagine I might could live in my own fantasy castle, then maybe I can start to do something about it.  And maybe I'll just make enough of a fantasy castle out of where I am to get me started

I know, kinda woo, and it kinda grosses me out that I'm talking like that.  It seems so trite, but there again it ties right into my thing that isn't resolutions, because it's new.  Plus, fantasy castle!  Fuck yeah!

p.s. trying to edit and reread that first paragraph is giving me a headache, so with all apologies I've opted to leave it alone for now.  Just ignore it as best you can.