Thursday, March 30, 2006

do you hit kids?

Regardless of where we think babies come from, when we choose to produce them and bring them into this world, we take on a certain duty and responsibility to them. Sadly, many of us don't stick with the contract.

I propose we remove words like spanking and beating and abusing from conversations that involve children. In their place we will simplify it to hitting. There are other abuses of children, but we aren't discussing those right now.

Do you hit kids? Do you hit all the kids around you that don't obey your rules? Do you hit your own kids? Do you call it something else when in reality it is hitting? Do you hit kids? Are you an adult? Do you hit you husband/wife? Do you hit your kids? Do you hit your neighbor? Do you hit the cashier at the grocery store? Do you hit kids? Do you hit your siblings? Do you allow your kids to hit? Do you hit kids?

It's just that simple. Kids don't react as well to being hit as you might think. Regardless of human resiliency, kids don't like being hit. Kids don't deserve to be hit. Do you think it would be okay for me to come hit you?

How about that last one? What if I came and hit you? Would that be okay? What if I could show you scriptural passages that I said indicated that I should hit you? Would that be okay? If I said to you that god told me to come and hit you, that god wasn't happy with what you were doing. Could I come and hit you then? If I decided that you were not following god's law, could I come and hit you?

Do you hit kids?

Even if you say that you don't beat or abuse your kids, if you hit them, then you've gone too far. You've proven that you are an incapable parent. You have two options. You can stop hitting and start parenting, or you can find a way to pretend that hitting kids is okay. You can be an adult, or you can be a person that hits kids.

Do you hit kids?

3 comments:

h said...

Excellent post... thank you.

It really is that simple.

BridgetJ said...

Yes. It's simple. Don't hit kids.

Rebekah Pearl Anast said...

Michael and Debi Pearl: Barbaric child abusers, or loving, successful parents.

Are Michael and Debi Pearl “Guilty as Charged?”

My name is Rebekah Pearl Anast, I am the firstborn daughter of Michael and Debi Pearl, the authors of the best-selling book To Train Up a Child.

A handful of angry people have begun an outcry against Michael and Debi Pearl for the child-training principles in this book. These naysayers have also struck out against The Old Schoolhouse Magazine for refusing to reject the paid advertisement of the No Greater Joy Ministry materials, and for refusing to make a public statement of dissosociation.

Along with quoting out of context, verbalized anger, and false assumptions, they have attacked those associated with the Pearl family, and threatened to shake the fragile platform of homeschooling in the UK by going to the media with the sensational story that certain UK homeschool groups are hosting the infamous "extreme ritualistic child abuse advocators, Michael and Debi Pearl."

In every society there are “movers and shakers,” those people who call the media, make the stories (or the stink, as the case may be) and bring about changes that effect the thousands of ambivalent and, often clueless, masses. Some of these movers and shakers have the good of the masses in mind, others are simply angry, irrational people that need attention and like to make a scene.

Unfortunately, the media thrives on these sensation-makers, and is quick to poison the waters of truth if the poison is offered on the silver platter of a “hot story.”

How do we combat the irrational and unfounded sensationalism that would poison the waters of our communities? With truth. If the media wants a story, give them the truth. Let them know that we are very aware of the lies and sensation being spread, but that we’re not afraid of it, because we know the truth.

These sensational story-tellers say that Michael and Debi Pearl teach child abuse, the subjection of women, and general injustice.

I would know (I am their daughter) whether their techniques are violent and unjust, or loving and temperate. I would know if the result is an emotionally damaged and fearful child, or a creative, successful, happy adult. I would know, yes, better than any one of these angry people, whether Michael and Debi Pearl are barbaric child abusers, or loving, successful parents.

Every type of abuse leaves evidence to prove its occurrence, whether it be a mark on the spirit or the body. Let me give you the evidence that is me:

I am 32 years old, married and the mother of three children. I am the happiest person I know, and my life is full of fruit; my own three very happy, balanced children who are completely sound in body and mind.

I have written articles, books, screenplays, and traveled the world for 4 years, meeting new people, eating new food, ministering to those in need, and loving life. I always returned to my favorite place and my favorite people... my family.

I married a wonderful man who is worth every moment of reverence and honor I give him; he is my best friend and only lover.

I have very few bad memories of childhood, all of which I can recall clearly; my dog dying, my hand getting cut on a fresh pine board, my brother being stung by bees, and my father’s grief over a friend’s suffering. That’s all that I can recall.

I remember only one spanking. I remember it because I laughed all the way through it, and so did my Dad. I had played a prank that was dangerous, but funny, and fully deserved a spanking for it, but my parents were unable to spank me without laughing. That is the only spanking I clearly remember. The others were so well-deserved my conscience was able to write off the memory once the deed was paid for.

I was never injured in body or spirit by the training I received. I was never “struck” in anger. I did receive non-injurous spankings on my fully clothed backside with a willow switch when I had clearly transgressed a known “law” of the house. These spankings did not leave bruises or abrasions, or emotional distress.

I learned by the gentlest way possible that foolishness has consequences and wise choices make life comfortable. This training has literally saved my life and I am eternally grateful to both my parents for using a literal rod to train my flesh to make wise choices.

My brothers and sisters were my best friends growing up. We did everything together; swimming, playing, working. We usually got in trouble together too, and when spankings were due, they were due all around. However, trouble was hard to find, as either Mom or Dad was almost always with us, joining in the fun, the projects, and the learning. From dancing in the rain, to building forts, to learning to ride a bike; they were there, so much a part of my life.

A person is innocent until proven guilty. I have proof that Michael and Debi Pearl are wise and loving parents: I am the proof, and every one of my siblings would agree with me.

Almost everything we (my parents) have ever written is available online for FREE on nogreaterjoy.org; and everything else is as inexpensive as possible while still allowing No Greater Joy to operate as a non-profit organization, geared toward helping thousands of parents and children.

A lot of information about the Pearls on the internet is simply taken out of context or completely misquoted. Look up the quotes on nogreaterjoy.org for yourself and make sure your source isn’t lying or misconstruing the truth.

It’s important to the homeschool movement that we be accountable for our views, instead of blindly following the loudest sensationalist, or giving them credibility of any kind.

Rebekah (Pearl) Anast

I give full permission to reprint or repost this article in it’s entirety in any format.