Thursday, March 16, 2006

it isn't really bush

The following started out as a post on a Yahoo group I'm a member of. But I couldn't let it stay there. It's great fun, so I brought it here. And with no effort whatsoever, I've got a blog for the day. I rule! So, whithout further ado, my answer to a not so innocent question from someone silly enough to still argue any proBush stance. What a silly ass!

Someone wondered why we tend to hate Bush so much when it isn't really him that is the problem on the right. It really is just an absolute breakdown in the ability to be human and empathize. But that's Republicans for you.

So why should we heap so much scorn and hatred on Bush? He asks for it. Just to look into his simpering beady eyes irks me. The ratty little half smile that says "yeah I'm lying again" as he trys like hell to pretend that it's all cool, that's he's in control.

I fully believe that Cheney is much more to blame for all of this, as Bush isn't smart enough to carry it all off. Cheney is the real evil along with a few other people that we probably don't even see, and I am certain that they wear dark cowls with deep hoods pulled over their faces. And we don't ever really see Cheney enough to realize the extent of his own personal culpability. He's never in the limelight.

Cheney is too busy anyway. He has to drown a certain number of kittens each week in order to catch an erection. He's snorted so much coke off of dead hookers that he finally just started snorting dead hookers. Bush is almost as bad, but he's always had Cheney around to mastermind whatever scheme their ridiculuos addictions call for.

Cheney regularly shoots old men in the face. He also shoots mailboxes. The mailboxes are because he's drunk, but the old men are special. And this is the shit that Bush doesn't know. He is the monkey to Cheney's organ grinding.

Cheney shoots old men for the blood. It takes a lot of magic to rule the world. Cheney knows that with each pint of innocent blood shed, his power grows ever stronger and Cthulu is that much closer to being released. And no one hates old people like Americans, so who's going to notice?


BridgetJ said...

Easy now, Samuel. It'll all be over soon and we'll have yet another Clinton Administration.

Audrey said...

Holy blood sacrifices, Samuel! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

In our house, we refer to he who shall not be named as VoldeBush.

We refer to his Canadian junior minion (Harper) as "the dancing Ameri-monkey."