What are we going to have instead of Christmas when the evil Darwinist gays finally win the war on Christmas? Seriously, we are at war or something, and someone is trying to steal baby Jesus and make him not be in Christmas anymore.
Seriously, it's a battle, and we all have to choose sides. Do you love baby Jesus or not?
Well it's time for his birthday, and baby birthdays are always the best. Everyone gets him little clothes and hats and toys and educational software. It's soooo sweet, and he's so darling, little baby Jesus.
But he wants to have a party, and some people think we shouldn't have a party for Jesus. Somebody's going down over this. They can't steal our Christmas and baby Jesus from us. We'll make them celebrate and party like they're supposed to, or baby Jesus will get totally mad at them.
So you better say Merry Christmas to everyone, or you hate baby Jesus.
1 comment:
You make a good point, even if it is laced in irony and sarcasm. I tell people that I'm a recovering Baptist, so I can speak to this. Having the same up-bringing as you, I have seen and felt the same weirdness. If, as a Christian, I believe that God said his name was "I am", why would I celebrate the birth of God? Dunno, but I know that you know why Jesus coming to the earth is celebrated. BUT "Let's have a birthday party for Jesus" . . . ? Come on, now. That is totally inane.
Another thought: Darwinist gays? One of Darwin's things was survival of the fittest, and since gays don't naturally reproduce wouldn't they eventually die out? Maybe it's us breeders that keep turning our kids gay.
Now, here's a suggestion. Give all your ultra-religious friends gift baskets this year with small packages of gouda, brie, cheddar, and others. Tell them that you're celebrating the little baby cheeses. Maybe they won't notice. It's all about the fromage, baby!
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