Thursday, April 12, 2007

to complain

That's all I'm going to do right now is complain. I shouldn't really, because I know the kind of real shit that's happening around the world, but what the hell. It's what I do.

I keep seeing the sun or proof that it is indeed shining, but there just too many clouds competing for the sky that we aren't really getting a lot of sun. It's as if the clouds admit those few rays of sun every so often just to fuck with us.

This is the nicest day in what seems like two weeks. We had our little cold snap and some rain, and more rain today wouldn't surpise me. It's also pretty windy today which wouldn't matter so much, but it's just going to blow more shingles off the roof, and I really don't like the idea of climbing from the ladder to the roof. It creeps me the fuck out and is very hard for me without someone behind me rushing me and alerting me to the pussy that I am.

Even ignoring the potential for rain that the sky admits, I can't stand to let the boys out to play. I still haven't mowed the grass, and it just sucks to even look at the yard. If I were to allow that it's nice enough to play outside I couldn't very well justify not doing the yard work. There's also a part that just doesn't want the boys to have to deal with all that grass, but I really don't relish the thought of getting out there only to have it rain halfway through the job.

The worst of the yard isn't the work, it's the neighbor. One in particular that spends a lot more time on his yard than I do mine. He actually goes out of his way as if he enjoys his yard. I watch him sometimes from our kitchen window that looks past our little bit of yard and past his driveway. I see him walking down his driveway sometimes, looking at our jungle and scowling his disapproval. I almost feel bad, then I get mad at him for making me feel bad. I play out scenes in my head where every bit of redneck comes gushing out one day in a burst of "what the fuck you looking at? You don't like it you can bring your fat ass over here and mow it your god damn self!"

followed moments later with, "motherfucker" and I stand there for a brief moment to see if he's going to get buck or back off.

And really, he's a nice enough guy as far as I know, and I wouldn't ever do that sort of thing to him providing he stops looking at my yard like that.


1 comment:

kimzyn said...

Would you feel any better if I told you I too spent the day grumbling about the crappy endless cold and snarling at the snow patches that are refusing to melt on our overgrown in some places, bald in others lawn?
And that my neighbor, although he doesn't scowl at us, gives us unsolicited advice on how to give a hoot about the diseased sod which we refuse to spray with pesticides every year and welcome the dandelions which cause him to have an aneurysm? I just keep my nose in the book and let the kids rip up what remains of the sod with the tire swing they decided to put in the FRONT yard after fishing a tire out of the alley. Thus completing our complete white trash image in the minds of all of the neighbors who don't have kids or whose kids appear to be off to boarding school.
Oh, and my back hurts. And everyone I spoke to today had the same collective sense of malaise. So, know that you are not alone. I can say I felt something akin to joy in your misery because it said brotherhood to me. Still, hope you get some sunshine tomorrow and have a fun romp outdoors. That's all we need.