Wednesday, August 01, 2007

what now?

I've been bad at thinking of things to bitch about lately, and I'm afraid that's probably possibly unhealthy for me. Perhaps I store all the hate inside and don't let it out sometimes, and unwitting blog readers are perfectly capable of withstanding the barrage of ill will. It's only natural that I utilize this god given forum for vent spleening.

I hate commercials . . . period. I hate them all, even if they happen to make me laugh. I especially hate them when they try to play with one's emotions to sell their product.

I especially hate the one where the kid shakes up the two liter of soda and sprays it all over the kitchen, at which point his mother sprays him back with the sprayer from the kitchen sink. No way in hell would I be willing to increase that sort of mess.

Here's the deal in my house when you spray shit everywhere. I find you enough towels to do the job, perhaps get the initial bulk if it's that bad, and then I go outside to smoke a cigarette and ignore the fact that some kid thinks he's too small to have to clean.

I hate the gnome from the Travelocity commercials especially, almost up to white hot passion level hatred. It's not fucking funny. It's worse than the cavemen, who are almost amusing roughly one out of every ten separate commercial. But the gnome is just stupid, and the zany one liners are limp like old celery.

Kid's Bop can once and for all go straight to hell. I'm not kidding at all with this one. I'd take every commercial I've just mentioned to never hear those asshole kids singing some asshole's top forty song about sex barely hidden under a thin and sadly not even witty layer of innuendo. I've definitely trained the boys to hate that shit. If I get nothing else from homeschooling, the fact that my kids will be able to face music with ears untainted by popular opinion makes it all worthwhile.

Damn that felt good, just to unburden myself. The dark cloud of those filthy ads was starting to wear on me. Thanks for allowing me the breath of fresh air I get from unloading into the nether regions of the blogosphere that I inhabit. I couldn't do it without you.


Gem said...

And here I thought was just a narrow-minded over-protective Christian mom for hating Kidz Bop. Glad to see 'normal' people hate it too!

contemplator said...

I hate both Kidz Bop and the travelocity gnome. The gnome is dumb. And Kidz Bop seems like musical porn for kiddies.

Pick more everyday objects and rant away!

Mark Steel said...

F&#$ gnomes: