Thursday, December 06, 2007

busted ass truck

Dear asshole in the busted ass truck,

Why were you in such a hurry to pull out in front of me? Seriously, you didn't even pause at the stop sign you were in such a hurry. And then when you did get in front of me you drove slow as shit.

Why did you feel the need to be in front of me when you weren't going to drive as fast as I was? I was doing fine up to that point. I'd been to the co-op for my milk and coffee. I'd hit the gas and go at Food City because their air is free, and I was so happy knowing that my tires were finally fully inflated again. Then I went to the other Food City where I usually shop and am a familiar face to the staff who are mostly really nice. Just a few blocks from home you ruined my good mood by getting in front of me so that you could drive one fucking block.

Oh, and the part where you turned on your turn signal and slowed down even further as you gawked out the window in the other direction and almost came to a complete stop instead of just completing your turn was especially infuriating. Was that your goal? to piss me off?

Look, I get enough of that shit in this town already, assholes pulling out in front of me, often in that same run-the-stop-sign sort of move, and it's always the same. There was no one behind me, so it wasn't like you would have had to wait for a line of cars. You must just be an asshole. That's all I can figure.

Either way, fuck you very much for ruining my mood. Thankfully I nearly forgot you as quickly as you pissed me off, but still, people like you are responsible for a huge amount of the stress that exists in the world. If you're just going to drive slow, then wait a fucking couple of seconds for me to get past and then mosey your stupid self on behind me. Then we'll both stay happy instead of just you, you selfish prick.

2 comments:

Kim said...

Dear Inpatient Stressed out Driver,
I-I am so sorry. I really don't know how to tell you this, except to say that I consider it a good day just simply based on the fact that I remembered where my blinker was. Normally, when I'm driving around my normal locale of Chicago I prefer to go blinkerless and pass people on the right at stop signs just to prove my alpha trucker status. Even though a vehicle my size should be prohibited in the city except for people selling melons on the side of the road. I understand your frustration though and I promise to lay off of the cough syrup the next time you and I are likely to meet on the road.
Peace,
Asshole Guy

Nance Confer said...

Let it not be assumed that this type of driving is limited to the low end of the price range in vehicles.

We have all of the old people in America living in my county in FL -- or so it seems some days -- and they buy the biggest honking Lincoln they can find. Because they feel safe then, you see. Safe to roll out onto US1, where most of us are doing 60 and up, never stopping at the stop sign, causing havoc as they change to the fast lane and stay there, at 30 miles an hour, until they eventually, many miles later, make that left.

Are all doctors on the left side of the road?

It is actually dangerous to be out midmorning around here.

Do all doctor appointments have to be at 10 AM?

Nance