Thursday, February 07, 2008

you mean that HSLDA?

Yeah, there is only one HSLDA, Homeschool Legal Defense Association, and yes I see homeschool as one word, so that's just one more strike against them. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I posted some other asinine rant about these bozos, but an easy target is an easy target, so . . .

Anyone reading here that is not a homeschooler may well be unaware of the HSLDA, and if they have heard of them then they may know that they are a bunch of uber religious nutters that have as much to do with the legal side of homeschool issues as a basket of dirty underwear has to do with getting supper on the table.

HSLDA likely fancies themselves the ACLU of the homeschooling world, and many of our more zealously christian homeschooling friends would agree to the spirit of that comparison while quickly pointing out the evil nature of the ACLU and homaseckshuls and libruls and women in pants. Yeah, those people.

I won't be entering this contest, though I do thank Lynn at Bore Me To Tears for noticing and showing us all. The contest is an essay contest in which entrants are asked to explain what the HSLDA means to them. As Momma pointed out when I showed her, "Twenty five words? That's not an essay. That's a couple of sentences."

Should you choose to enter, the prize is a gift certifacte to the HSLDA bookstore, which brings up another question. What kind of crap do they sell in the HSLDA bookstore? I can well imagine, but I'd rather make uneducated guesses, as it's so much funnier that way. So before I complete my essay I'll give some examples of things that aren't quite likely to really be there, such as the
-ladies tea cup (because coffee is probably too strong for them) reading, I got married and all I got was these bare feet and a growing stack of babies
-t shirts that read I homeschool my child for all the wrong reasons and we don't need your filthy and unBiblical logic
-the classic full armor of god play set
-book titled "Conservatives Today: Working Our Asses Off To Take America Back To The Dark Ages"

But I digress when I really should be working on my essay.

So, what does the HSLDA mean to me?
HSLDA doesn't mean a square inch of turd. They haven't done shit for the vast majority of homeschoolers, so they can go and suck it.
And it's exactly twenty five words, but I really don't think it's a prize winner according to their standards. Regardless, I think it's honest and heartfelt.

And added from Lynn's comment due to sheer awesomeness, check out this fine offering as an additional option from the HSLDA shop.


Anonymous said...

I love it :)

And, I don't know, but your "uneducated guesses" about possible HSLDA store offerings sounds pretty spot-on to me! ...But, I'm too scared to go look for myself.

By the way. The armor of god gear? I'm afraid that I'm going to have to top it -with this!

don said...

Thank you. Your "essay" is the funniest thing I've heard all day. I think you should submit it to their little contest. Seriously.

Christine said...

Oooh, I want that tea cup! It would go over big at the homeschool tumbling group we attend.

redmolly said...

My humble entry, humbly submitted:

What HSLDA means to me? Best chance to meet fellow devotees of seduction and Celine Dion karaoke. Oh... not Hot Sexy Lady Diva Association? Whoops.

Ren said...

I'll just add my "amen" to what you wrote.;) lol
HSLDA to me? It means damage to homeschooling rights and erosion of freedom. There.

Firefly mom said...

"homaseckshuls and libruls and women in pants" - Perfect!

We spent our first 5 years of homeschooling surounded by the HSLDA-loving, denim-jumper wearing, bible-thumping crowd. And then we fled ;)

Your essay nailed it! Wouldn't it be great if they received more essays like yours than ones that supported them? I wonder if they'd take the hint. Probably not.

(oh, and those pajamas are freaky!)