keep on moving?

Momma has been raving about her new job almost non stop since her first shift. I've let it get to me a bit, not wanting to hear how happy she is when I've been feeling like such shit lately. I want to support her, but her joy ends up making my own lack seem more glaring.

It hasn't helped that, since day one, I've been pretty sure I wasn't going to like my new job. There's a distinct lack of morale among the cooks. Each shift has only one cook on the line, and the place opens at five pm. The opening/prep shift is four to eight while the closing shift is eight till whenever you finish cleaning, around two in the morning if you've been there long enough to have your tricks and techniques and assuming you don't bust your ass and do six hundred dollars in sales on your first solo shift.

A little brag here. Last night was my first solo shift and I did do around six hundred dollars in sales. After three years of being out of kitchens, I walked into that place and owned it. The worst crime I committed was burning bacon, but in my defense they use shitty precooked bacon that you basically warm and crisp on the flat top grill, and if you aren't hovering it burns very quickly.

Momma has mentioned the likelihood that I could get a job where she works, but I haven't really felt that I could do it. I should have known that I could, but the ol' self esteem has been lower than a caterpillar's balls lately, and I felt as if reaching too far or trying too much is going to see me getting knocked down yet again. It's an issue I'm trying to work on, and taking the job is just an early step.

So yeah, I'm already going to put in notice at my new job, after a week, and take another new job. I'll be working with Momma, though not quite with her as we will work opposing shifts as we always have. I'll be taking several steps up in terms of food quality, and I'll have a much better chance to learn and hone my technique. I'll also step a couple dollars up in hourly pay, which is definitely going to help.

And though I'm not sure exactly how it came about, Momma was nice enough to inform some amount of the staff that I'm gay. It seems kind of nice going in without having to wonder how to go about treating that bit of info, but again, it's not something you're ever sure people will take well. In the end I can only care/worry about that so much, and I don't intend to bother.

So we turn another page, this one a short one. I hope not to burn the bridge as the job I'm leaving remains my favorite bar to drink at and the bar at which I'm most likely to meet friends without planning to meet. I'll be working both places for a couple of weeks, and I'm certain that's bound to add to the thrills.

Finally, I'll link HERE to the website of a certain restaurant, but in the interest of blogging and working and not sure about how much info needs to be shared and not wanting to fuck up before I start, I won't share any more just now than that. I've been a stay at home dad the entire time that I've also been a blogger, so I've never blogged, before now, about a place I was employed at while writing. Again, in the interest of not fucking things up, I'll be sure to keep a sensible separation between the two. Any advice from fellow bloggers about this sort of thing is more than welcome.