Thursday, January 29, 2009

fb impasse

So, I realize after the fact that I'm pretty much gay on Facebook too now. I joined because it was a family thing, and I was pretty sure it would be fine. I would just play it close on the fb and keep things to myself.

A huge percentage of my non family friends are either the heathenest of homeschoolers or lesbians. Yes, that's the breakdown, and from one of my girls on the fb tonight I got a request for some sort of "top girls" app whereby I become one of her top girls and she can get my info about bd's and shits, holler?

And my mom is on there as well as an aunt and most of my many brothers as well as many of their children and wives, not yet both past and present, but give us another couple of years . . .

My status update tonight was gay as all hell, but that's not really the point. The point is that I didn't think about it at the time. It just was there all of a sudden . . .

And my moms is all on the fb. And knowing that, and realizing after the fact that my status is rather gay, I'm still not knocking myself out to run and change it.

And then I got to the status update of one of my nieces, and in it she included a line that describes perfectly how I sometimes feel. No matter how I go about it, I can't think of a good way to comment to her to relay my thought that perhaps I can understand how she feels. I so get what she said that I feel compelled to somehow let her know, but it all feels so weird.

I don't see a lot of the family. I do want to, but living even these few short hours away it's still often a lot to think about when the family gets together. And now there's the added burden of the thought of visiting while not pretending. And through it all there are all these nieces and nephews that I don't really even know.

I can't help but love these people. They are my family. And there are different variations on the main theme of love having to do with so many different factors. In thinking about my nieces and nephews and the circumstances they face, and considering the circumstances of my own childhood with my brothers and out parents, now the grandparents of our collective children . . .

So, in the middle of this post I finally figured it out. I told her what I wanted to hear when I felt the way her update read to me.

Social media: making families since . . .

1 comment:

christine said...

"I told her what I wanted to hear when I felt the way her update read to me. "

Very cool.