Sunday, January 16, 2011

taint ticklers

People have noticed lately that I haven't shaved in a while, though I have to wonder if they're noticing or just commenting.  Very rarely has anyone had reason to comment on my facial hair, and the main reason is that I really don't grow it in a noticeable manner.

When I say I don't grow it I'm not suggesting that I shave daily in order to maintain my appearance.  No, what I mean is that, whether or not I like it, my face doesn't produce hair in the manner typical for a man my age.  I shaved just over a week ago, and I've just now reached a point where my face looks as if I'm attempting to produce a hair style upon it.

I know when I last shaved because it was in preparation for a visit from a cute friend.  I won't go into that right now, though there could easily be a post out of where my head is lately.  I then didn't shower again till Momma helped me purchase my freedom, and I was able to shed the layer of jail and the stink of bologna.

I just didn't feel like shaving then.  And usually I don't.  I suppose that I'm lucky in that regard.  I do kinda hate shaving, and I don't really feel like I want facial hair, and I certainly have no need at all to shave daily to maintain a clean look, but there's also the part of me that just doesn't like not having that thing that men do.  It's totally not available to me.

Long sideburns?  Handlebar mustache?  Satanesque Van Dyke with pointy beard?  I can achieve none of these classic styles.  Fourteen year old boy who shouldn't need to shave yet but kinda needs to?  Yes, I can totally pull that one off.  I'm doing so right now.

And I don't even like the facial hair on me.  Okay, I'll tell you now that I don't like my own.  It feels unpleasant for the most part.  However, a bit of beard  brushing against my neck?  Let's just not even go there.  That's not what this post is about, and my viewers may include mixed company. 

Every so often I ignore my need to shave, and it does almost look as if I'm deliberately attempting something, and on even rarer occasions I consider for a brief passing moment just not shaving.  I almost begin to pretend that if I don't shave a real mustache will grow while I'm asleep.  That's where I am now.

I feel like I know better, and I'm sure I'll look like the kind of guy that has a van for very bad reasons if I were to actually have a mustache of my own, but I still wanna see, just once.  Just one time in my life time I want to actually have this thing that so many take for granted.

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