POV and kids I guess

I'm slowly seeing my kids differently. A lot of it is having finally read some books by John Holt. Couple that with finding all the unschooling boards and sites I've come across lately and you are almost required to at least reconsider or think about or ponder for a moment.
I've decided that I'd really like to get to know the boys. Before now, I've pretty much seen them as little lumps that I need to mold into some shape that will weather the hell of life. I'm not such a pessimist as to really see life as hell, but I certainly know how hard life CAN be. I am fully aware of a lot of what they MAY face. So I've been driven to prepare them for that.
I've never been too horribly drawn to "teaching" them, even before we discovered unschooling. I did of course assume there were going to be subjects that I would need to teach to some extent. I've easily let go of that concept, and even before reading John Holt I was coming to some similar conclusions as far as childhood learning is concerned. I was seeing it before I ever read about it.
More than anything, allowing the boys the kind of freedom inherent to most unschooling families is really testing me. I feel that certain limits are within reason, rules of the house. Each member of the family deserves the same respect, and we should all live free of the fear of physical pain inflicted by a family member. There is a certain amount of respect for both family and personal possessions.
So there are some ares in which I am looking, feeling around. I find it kind of funny though that the "educational" issues are those which were the easiest for me to let go of. And in terms of self regulating and children, I'm kind of lost. I'm certainly changing certain ways I approach them, and I've realized I'm interested in getting to know them. I don't want to mold them so much as watch what they become, seeing who they are.
I'm also learning that I need to get off my lazy ass and cook. I get regular meals regularly into bellies, but I've gotten lazy and haven't really cooked in ages. One of the things I've let go of is the kitchen ban. I couldn't accept that the boys wouldn't just screw off and get in the way, which the boy does. But Big brother is very helpful in the kitchen as we've just recently found out.
Right now, I need to finish the cleaning I almost started earlier before finding out the A Prairie Home Companion was on t.v. tonight. BR5-49 only played one song though seeing them on the one episode of PHC on t.v. was pretty cool.