Saturday, January 13, 2007

the fam'

Being a raging atheist is not something I generally discuss with my family. I don't generally think about this sort of thing THAT much. Part of it is that I so seldom see my family I'm sure. The part of Momma's family who are the family that we see most often is differently religious that my own family, and I'm sure it has something to do with them being Methodist and just not doing it right.

I often realize though that I'm not really sure what my family even suspects about me and the wife and kids. We all get along great at the holidays when we get together, but there's always the fact that it's been so long and the kids are all so much bigger, and for the most part, I'm not really willing to get into that discussion with my family. I'm not going to change their minds, and I can accept that. I don't give a shit what people believe. And while most of my family would still be cool to us and treat us well, I don't know that I want to affect the family dynamic in that way. Maybe I just don't want to be preached to every time we travel south.

And then I think about the kids. You never know what's going to come out of a kid's mouth, and when your kids are like my kids, and you got family like I got family, it often seems like a house of cards that's mostly staying up alright, for now.

The thing about it all is the disdain I've come to have for all types of religious belief. I can't argue if you find something that helps you or makes you act better to people. But as a moral code, I can't accept that I need to be told how to be cool. The whole rest of it, when we're praying for instance at any family functions that involve praying, saying the blessing for food generally, almost makes me feel like I'm in an episode of Star Trek and we've stumbled into some crazy shit on a planet. We'll bow to your customs to save our asses, but once we get back to the Enterprise it's back to business as usual.

And the kids. We forgot to teach them what to do when someone suggests prayer. Be quiet and don't stare at anyone because they might open their eyes and catch you. Also, when dining out, my kids are the ones that start right in eating because they so seldom have to wait for . . .what's that? a prayer? and that would be? while all the other kids are waiting. At least we don't hold hands like some families. That's the worst, holding hands and praying.

Either way, I look forward to whatever comes up in the spring, some family thing with potato salad and mosquito spray. There may be another granddaughter by then depending on the timing. I'll drive south much more quickly than perhaps I ought. I'll love that the kids are all playing together. The Boy doesn't have another boy his age to play with. And we'll drive back north much quicker than perhaps I ought.

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