wind

It's a beautiful day outside. The boys and I should all be out enjoying the sunshine, cleaning up the yard, playing. I just can't really bring myself to want to do any of it.

I can't walk two steps inside the house without finding something that needs my attention. With the boys playing quietly for a moment, now would be a perfect time to start any number of chores. Most of these wouldn't even be major jobs, just little bits of picking up. The kitchen needs a bit of attention, and I really need to decide what I'm fixing for supper. But I really just can't bring myself to want to do any of it.

I've had the blackest of clouds hanging over my head for almost three weeks. The cloud has been there for so long that I don't remember when it showed up, but about three weeks ago, it got darker, as if finally charging itself for a real storm.

I can try any number of ways to disperse that cloud, but it's kind of like trying to wave smoke out of your eyes with just your hand. You might stir it up for a moment, but it's not really going anywhere. The problem with smoke is that you either wait for the right wind to come along, or you have to move. Eventually, there seems always to come a wind, but you can never know where it ends up blowing.