Wednesday, April 30, 2008

random update

Now a week and more has passed since my last post. I have to wonder what's going on. To some extent, I think having a job again is a little overwhelming. It doesn't help that the hours have suddenly started much earlier on one end, but at the other end, the one that sees me going to bed, the hours have not gotten any earlier to adjust for the earlier rise.

I did mow the grass recently, and it already needs it again. I neglected one part of the yard and have been complained about. Someone learned that if they go to the city, the city will send a man out to remind me that they can make me mow my grass. Also, I will now have to finally fix the truck, but considering the main problem with that has been lack of money, it won't be a problem suddenly.

Oh, there's also that, the fact that we got our income tax refund late yet just in time finally. In the same week we also got paid from the new jobs, and I'm still awaiting a check from the most recent of the short lived jobs. While we're certainly not suddenly wealthy, we can fix the truck.

Back to the grass for a moment, we may be out of our drought with all the rain we've gotten this spring. It seems to have rained two or three days a week on average the entire year, and our weather has continued to fluctuate insanely, possibly due somehow to this. We were supposed to be near freezing temperatures last night, though I didn't actually measure. I can agree that it was quite cool. Today is supposed to be low seventies, and while I'll agree it's still cool out, the sun is doing a superb job of warming.

I'm waiting now for that call/text from Momma alerting me that she's off work and that we'll soon be making the children/job exchange. While she's worked a number of days and nights, having started at the g-pub two weeks before I did, this is only my second night shift. Thankfully it's a Wednesday and likely to be slower than not, but my last night shift was sort of a pain in the ass.

Momma is slightly more available than I am to work shifts, and she's ahead of me as well with that two weeks head start coupled with the variety of shifts she's worked. I still don't really know the dinner menu having only seen it once. I'm getting a handle on lunch, the shift I'm much more likely to work, so I'm approaching some amount of comfort in the daytime. I need to pick up more dinner shifts, but with soccer still taking up two nights I could get in, once more coupled with Momma's experience at the place, and you get the picture. Also, I'm a little nervous because that's apparently how I roll.

Speaking of the new job, my gaydar has so far been off at least once, and it isn't pointing at anyone else in the meantime. There was this Hispanic looking guy that I think was applying for a job, but I haven't seen him since, which is sad as he was definitely easy on the eyes. I thought till Sunday that one of the bartenders was gay, but he was out with a girl for brunch in a holding hands and obviously not gay sort of way.

I don't think there's much else to say. I'm quite sorry, both for you and for me, that I've failed at making time to blog lately. I really have quite too much to say, as any regulars know, especially when given the soft ball of a good rant topic. I had two such softballs this past week, but I failed to act in a blogging type way and let them go.

You should visit the Thinking Parents wiki and read what other people have to say. The topic this time around was a pick between two upcoming events, National Day of Prayer and National Spank Out Day.

I don't pray, so prayer day would have certainly been a fun baby seal to club, and taking the reference to violence to the other option, I also don't spank. I still don't feel I'm a great parent, but I do feel I'm trying. I never realized the lifetime of spankings I lived with would set me up to be such a bastard of a father, but the farther I step from the spanker I was, the more I'm able to fix these issues. I can confront the way I've allowed my childhood to continue to infest who I've become, and I can allow myself to give my children the sort of freedom I never had. As I do this, I still have to confront the sort of expectations that I don't need to dredge from my past and smother them with, and that's really hard, throwing away so much of what you learned about parenting and trying to reinvent who you are.

Update complete, we now rejoin our regular features already in progress.


Theron said...

hey don't forget you have copious amounts of black up.

Ren said...

Re-inventing who we are...I like that.
Every step away from the control and punishment is a step towards freedom and partnership with children. GOOD!:) It's amazing the things that swirl up in my journey that baffle me and make me question myself again and again.

All that questioning has led to a totally different life for my own children than I had. That's good too.

I've also found that in parenting them the way I wish I'd been parented I find pro
found healing.