Sunday, February 01, 2009

broken gaydar

Have I mentioned my faulty gayday? I know I have because my lost post, mere moments ago, mentioned a particular cute blond boy that I'm so unsure about and may almost have a crush on.

He really is absolutely adorable, and I'm certain I mentioned that in the last post, so there's no use going into it here.

The sad truth is that I think that most gay people have some sort of sense that we call gaydar that helps them find others. I'm certain I got the lemon gaydar because it doesn't quite work.

It could be part of my late coming out. Maybe because I went so long without using it it got rusty or just never got the online updates. I'm not sure. I'm not saying it never works, but it never works in a way that has any benefit at all for me.

At this point I'm actually certain my gaydar is so faulty as to have caused me to miss out on actual gays around me. Instead what I get is crushes on straight boys who act in such a way as to cause the gaydar to give me the early alert, the possibly gay signal.

Maybe through active use and through getting out and around other gays I can scrape the barnacles off of mine, and maybe I can learn how to use it enough so that eventually it becomes useful. I really don't know, and I'm not even sure that's possible. Maybe I just really did end up with the lemon gaydar. That would totally suck, because even with the gay agenda handbook I'm not finding any repair shops for gaydar. I'm just going to have to learn to live without it I guess.

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