this here thing here

Because all, or some, of the cool kids are doing it, here's my list of things that could be done, my own accomplishments being those in bold. Thanks Ron at Atypical Homeschool for giving me this Myspace moment in the blogosphere. Ya know, there's a drinking game called I Never that goes a little something like this. You take turns saying things like those found in this list, prefaced with the phrase, "I never . . ." If you've never, then you DON'T drink. If you've ever, then you DO drink.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children - still raising!
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. (helped) Save someone’s life

who can't help it?

Me! That's who! Yes, more fun at says-it.com for this li'l monkey.

a li'l comic strip

Thanks to says-it.com for all these fun toys to make funny things come out of the mouths of bad people. Go visit the site and make up your own funnies, then post them to your blog. It's a damn hoot and a half.

how is rachel ray still on?

This has been bothering me for some time. There was a short spell during which I could almost watch her cooking show; brand new cable will make you watch anything. And it's true I tried on occasion to watch her "travel show," which has it's problems outside of her cooking show.

I could give two shits about formal chef training, one common anti-Rachel Ray argument. Formal chef training is for people who can't learn how to cook by cooking or for people who think they need a piece of paper to prove they can cook. Believe me, anything you learn at Johnson and Wales I can figure out. I too have a copy of Escoffier's ponderous old sack of right and wrong, and I have enough Julia Child to field a team with substitutes.

Is my problem with Rachel her perkiness? I don't think so. I love Paula Dean, sometimes, and she's perky enough for a truck full of belles, but Paula, in addition to the accent, has history and some credibility that Rachel doesn't seem to have. I've worked with perky people, but they're usually servers and don't belong in the kitchen anyway. She obviously doesn't belong in a professional kitchen, which is fine. Her show is about home cooking. I don't especially care for perkiness, but I can look past most afflictions to the person underneath.

I hate that she can't just say olive oil, but instead she calls it E.V.O.O. Pointing out the "extra virgin" all the time is just pointless. I mean, who the hell buys anything else? If you don't want extra virgin olive oil, then use butter, but no, dumbass Rachel Ray has to call it E.V.O.O. If I hear somebody say E.V.O.O. I'm going to hit them with a saute pan.

The main issue that I have with her is her tipping. She doesn't go anywhere without a camera crew, as we see on her shows, and she makes every single restaurant go through this painful pretense that they like her. No restaurant is going to turn down free publicity, even if it is Rachel Ray, because it really isn't hard to slap a decent meal in front of anyone and make them happy for the viewing audience, and what looks better than happy people in your dining room? Perhaps some customers might be afraid that Rachel will come back and might avoid the restaurant due to that fear, but overall, she has to be at least not bad for business.

But I can guarantee that the staff hates the sight of her. The kitchen knows that she's coming back to peak at them if they so much as meet her hungry gaze from the kitchen, and no one wants Rachel Q. Public rambling around tasting the sauces. The servers all know that they are going to be screwed if they get her table. She's going to grill you about the menu, knowing that her budget is ten bucks and that the only thing she can have today is in the very middle of the menu, but she just has to know about everything. . .oh, and can you hurry? The dollar tour at Fort Knuckleworth is about to start and she needs this segment filmed quickly so that she can go film that segment. So all the servers run like hell to be peeing or smoking or anywhere out of site of management, except for that one perky bitch that no one likes anyway, or the head waiter if he/she actually gives a shit about the restaurant itself. And for all that trouble, they are lucky to walk away with any sort of reasonable tip

And now she has an actual network television show. Who thought this was a good idea? Who has enough clout and little enough sense to . . . uh . . . oh yeah, network t.v. I guess that answers that. So, yeah, she has a "real" show now. I don't watch a lot of morning t.v. so it isn't really anything that'll bother me. But sometimes I do happen to check out the lower number channels, and it's traumatic to jump from Martha Stewart to Rachel. Martha, even before her stint in the pokey could have stomped Rachel into a bulb and planted her ass.

So there it is. Because she's a poor tipper, Rachel Ray doesn't deserve to have a television show. All the other strikes against her are really small in comparison to her blatant insistence on tipping poorly.

I will admit that one of the greatest lines I have ever heard came from an episode of her show, though I forget the name of the program, Three Piss Poor Tips Across America in a Day or something like that. The point being that she was in Chattanooga TN and was boarding the Chattanooga ChooChoo. An employee opened the door for her and asked where she was visiting from. Rachel replies, "New York City," to which the man answers, "Welcome to America."

second thoughts on an earlier post

Just over a month ago, I posted a rant about a roller derby match in which I perceived some inequities in some parts of that match. It took them a while, but some of the people from the Tragic City Rollers found that post and commented about it. Having written the post over a month ago, I had basically forgotten about it till now.

Based on the comments, as well as a couple of things that have happened to me recently playing soccer, I've had to rethink the post. As it turns out, I may not be the cleanest soccer player around, guilty of some fouls that I wasn't aware I was making. I've had two separate occurrences to lead me to this conclusion and the rethinking of the rant post.

During halftime of a game a couple of weeks ago, the refs addressed the captains of both teams to address some issues of aggressiveness. On our team, I was mentioned specifically for hacking at people's ankles. I still have a knot on one calf from getting kicked in that same game, one week and a half later to give a clue as the overall style of play we met that day. But meeting fouls with fouls is a shitty way to play, so that's no justification.

The second incident occurred last night while scrimmaging against a local U19 team. The coach of that team mauled the shit out of me at one point. I was doing okay keeping the ball away from him, but he was seriously attacking me soccer style. I was slapped, hit, kicked, elbowed
and eventually knocked down. The coach perceived some of how I was playing as being dirty, so he attacked me. I of course protested this and his suggestion that he was fair in repaying me in such fashion. I still feel that he set a shitty example for his team, but that's beside the point and no reflection on lessons I need to learn.

Upon asking my own team if I was the hack at the ankles guy, one person answered to say that he didn't think I did it intentionally. Well, there you have it. Intentional or not doesn't make it any better, and if my own team sees me this way, then this is no longer an issue of perception. But I will take it as a sign that I need to work at my game. It is not acceptable for me to play dirty or to cheat.

So what does this have to do with my rant? Of three comments the rant has garnered so far, the commenters seemed to think that their team did a fine job and in fact did the best job that they could. Add to this that this was their first home match, their first time hosting and being in charge, and perhaps my indictment of their intent is misplaced. Upon rereading that post, regardless of my perception of that match, my assertions were equally out of line. That's not how I want to be seen, perception again.

If this post has any point at all, it's that we all perceive things differently based on any number of elements. The game looks different on the field or the rink as opposed to safely on the side. You and I are always better off keeping our mouths shut and doing our best. I can't very well bitch about one perceived slight when I'm as guilty as I suggest of others. At the time I posted the original rant, I felt justified in being upset. I suppose I was quite full of righteous indignation. Looking back at it now, I'm kind of embarrassed by my rant. There is no grace in calling fouls after the fact, and though grace can certainly go straight to hell most of the time, I wish now I'd been more respectful in that ranting post.

showing support?

This just has to be seen and spread far and wide, so I am doing my part. It's a great song and a great video. I first saw it PZ Myers Science Blog.

Hard Knox Rollergirls debut

Perhaps I should have posted this already. It's a three day old post that I sat on because I wanted pictures. I know that soon enough I'll be able to snag a couple, but I can't find anything at the moment.

Sunday night was the hometown debut of the Hard Knox Rollergirls featuring the Machine Gun Kellys, Momma's team, versus the Black Bettys. Many of the girls actually debuted their skills in Birmingham, but this was the first chance most people in our town had to see real derby action, live and in person.

The league has three different teams with the Lolitas Locas finishing up the trio. I didn't like this name at first and had to assume that most of these people were not familiar with Nabokov until Momma explained to me that it's some sort of Japanese fashion. None of that is the point however other than to mention that there were some Lolitas skating with both teams. Due to the ebb and flow of membership and participation in the league, some Lolitas were asked to skate as honorary Kellys or Bettys in order to round out those teams' rosters.

There were some problem areas that I'm sure will be fixed next time. The teams had intro music that was supposed to play as they were introduced, and I didn't hear either team's song. The announcer, in my opinion, needs a bit of practice, and I was ready to be unhappy with his performance until I considered that he'd likely never done anything like this. Add a crowd estimated at between 200 and 300 unfamiliar faces, and I changed my mind. He actually did well, all things considered.

And then came the derby. All the work, the sweat, the bruises, the falls, I really don't know how to put into words what I've seen over the months of work the league has put into preparing for finally bouting. This day seemed some times like it would never come, and when we finally got a date, it almost seemed too soon. And it all culminated in this grand spectacle Sunday night.

I'm again almost at a loss for words. The girls started slow, the first period almost wanting for excitement. As in many sports though, the first period is often like this, feeling out, warming up. The heat didn't take long to show up though, and by the second period, the battle was going strong.

Momma was on fire! She made some amazing runs through the pack, upsetting blockers and pivots who scrambled to catch her with even a bit of shoulder. She certainly ran into her share of shoulders. The Bettys were not going to be displaced too easily, and they knew to keep an eye on her, which they did as well as they could. Momma is also sporting the worst injury of the night, a jammed finger.

The lack of injury in general says nothing of the action. Both teams wanted the win, and both teams put every bit of themselves into this match. One beauty of the league is that the girls practice together. There are team practices when possible, but the two a week that are mandatory involve whole league. In addition to the friendships between girls on different teams, I think a big advantage to this is that they all build a respect for each other. Regardless of team affiliation, they do so much work together as a league. I think this was manifest in the match, the way the teams treated each other even while working so hard to beat each other.

In the end, the Black Bettys skated off with the win. They took an early lead that they were able to hold onto. They never got a very large margin over the Kellys who almost caught up several times. Of course I'd rather Momma's team had won, but there's always next time.

The Kellys next bout is in November against the Lolitas. The Bettys and Lolitas have a match in October. We learn soon which Kellys get to be honorary Bettys and Lolitas, so Momma may be in the October match. I can handle temporary misplaced allegiance if she gets that chance. Either way I'll provide a loving post.

You Are Incredibly Logical

Move over Spock - you're the new master of logic You think rationally, clearly, and quickly. A seasoned problem solver, your mind is like a computer!

How Logical Are You?

I suppose I feel pretty good about myself right about now. I am not saying I should or shouldn't, but I do.

today just feels . . .

I'm not really sure about today so far. It's an odd day. There are the usual aspects of the day in that, physically we are all doing what we would normally do, at least the boys and I are. Momma just left to go meet with her boss about her job. We've had breakfast and lunch, and the boys have been watching a Pokemon movie since right after lunch. They played with swords and drove me crazy a little bit before that.

The weather is pretty cool out. It seems cooler than it has in days, but this is the first day in several that we haven't gotten rained on. I don't think it's rained since some time early last night. It is pretty cloudy on top of the coolness, and that's adding to today's sort of feeling.

We have the windows open in the back of the house. If it stays cloudy enough on the sunny front side, I may open a couple of those windows soon. The sun blasts right in through those windows most of the day, and with winter a few months away, I'm reminded that I don't always hate those front windows.

I did have a pleasant moment earlier. After finishing something or other, I sat down on the sofa for a few minutes. The Pokemon movie was (is) still on, Momma was just about to leave, and the latest laundry load was just about ready for the washer-dryer switch. As I sat down, The Boy was roughly eight inches away, but he quickly scooted over right next to me. He didn't want to play or even to cuddle. He just scooted in really close without even taking his attention from the movie.

Part of today's oddness may be Momma's meeting. She had her own moment, rather unpleasant, at work Thursday and was given a few days off to think about what she'd done. What she did, while pretty bad in restaurant terms, was not without some amount of pressure from different sources, and should certainly be outweighed by the service she's provided over the couple of years this place has been open. I could turn this into a post about a certain type of server and about respect for position, but I tried doing that last week and didn't like what I came up with at the time. I have a post in me about servers, but it'll have to wait for now, and if I were being honest, I could do the same disservice to cooks.

I don't have any idea what will come from Momma's meeting. If she were not going to remain employed, I'm sure we would know that by now, but what terms she may be asked to accept to remain are certainly unknown. I may at any moment receive an unhappy phone call from Momma, explaining that I will need to dust off my resume. My resume is actually just a list of the last few places I worked and the kitchen managers' names, but that's not the point. I may be soon going back to work, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

It won't much matter how I feel, but I'm kind of thinking that I'd like to get back into a kitchen somewhere. I miss so much of that horrible, wretched job, even the bad parts kind of, but I would miss other stuff that I get to do not working. Our homeschool group has been picking up lately, and we've been getting together a lot. The boys and I have so far only been to the play days, but different members of our group have been putting lots of things together. It's great to see the group as a whole coming up with classes and educational opportunities together, and it's great to all meet at the playground. Momma would work less if i were also working, and our staggered schedules versus her overtime might mean that we saw each other a bit more.

Finally, here is my giggle of the day. I found a visitor in my statcounter searching "bobby flay ribs". I had a couple of beers and such in me when I found this late last night. I was just about done on the computer and heading to bed, and I laughed so hard about this I hurt.

silly monkeys

This from Wired in a story about pirate radio stations. Regardless of how you feel about the FCC and broadcast regulations and pirate radio, this story is funny as shit.

When federal agents raided free radio Santa Cruz in 2004, a crowd of several hundred protesters soon gathered at the 10-year-old broadcast center -- including the mayor, who was shouting through a bullhorn. The tires on the FCC agents' cars were slashed before they could leave, and then they received parking tickets before they could repair them. A few days later a fundraiser brought in more than $25,000 and Freak Radio, which is still on the air, was launched.

word of the late night

Our newest word of the day, a feature I'd nearly forgotten, is prelapsarian. The word describes some idyllic past that we all seem to remember, though it's always a different past. Thank you dear Wordsmith dot com.

It's always funny to hear people talk of innocence in past ages, periods of time when we are to believe that all was well and kids were kids. Perhaps god was smiling on the nation because we looked at sin and saw sin. People were just better, and they would help you out if you needed it.

But these days are so full of sin. We let the gays go and be gay all they want, and women are getting abortions every time they wear out a pair of running shoes, which is what comes of giving them the vote in the first place. Girls are getting tattoos and boys are getting pierced.

Really, my point here is that there was never an era in human history that was even close to innocent or happy-go-lucky. Most wars are religious in nature. When it comes to money, most people would just as soon screw you as look at you. Relationships stay fucked up because people are stubborn assholes. People will always try to screw the service staff, one way or another. Some people just can't hold their alcohol. Too many people can't just mind their own damn business. This is how life has always been. To hell with prelapsarian ideals! Damn them all!

pair of pictures

I think the closest I've come to posting family pictures here is a derby shot of Momma. We have plenty of cameras floating around the house, but only the two that are primarily phones are able to send those pictures anywhere but to film.

Having finally set up my phone to access my email, I was finally able to use the phone to also send pictures. Perhaps I could have done it before, but beyond sending the random dirty picture to Momma's phone, I never bothered.

Finally, a picture presented itself at the dining table today. The first is Momma and Big Brother, setting and following the example of meal time behavior. Following that, mostly to balance it out and give you a look at the whole family, are me and The Boy. I hope you are all able to figure out who is who given those descriptions.

Now you may all bask in our reflected glory at your leisure.

recently read books

Having read through a few more books since the last time I posted about books, I keep meaning to sit and discuss some of those books. I've covered a variety of genres in my recent reading, fantasy, historical(ish) fiction as well as nonfiction.

The first book I'll talk about is the historical fiction book, The Watsons Go to Birmingham-1963 by Christopher Paul Curtis. It's the story of the Watson family, living in Flint Michigan. The father is from Flint while the mother is from Birmingham. The book is almost entirely about the Watson's life in Flint, the trouble that the oldest son gets into eventually leading the family to Birmingham where the trouble son is going to spend the summer with his grandmother.

The Watsons end with the near loss of the youngest child, the daughter, in a church bombing. The girl doesn't die, as does the middle child not die earlier in the book in a swimming accident. These two incidents basically ruin the book. The fact that the book doesn't address the racism inherent in the church bombing certainly doesn't help. Instead of covering an important part of history, the book turns these two situations into some sort of spiritual moment with a bit of cheating death mixed in.

It was a mostly enjoyable book, but I didn't feel that the author really used the story that ended the book to his advantage. The church bombing almost seemed tagged on at the end to give the book a little more edge. So while I won't dissuade Big Brother from reading it, it won't serve the purpose I had hoped for upon taking it from the library.

Book two is The Tiger's Apprentice by Laurence Yep. It's a fairly basic fantasy story using a lot of random Chinese mythology. I'm not sure what to think of the Chinese mythology as I have no knowledge of that subject, but it did seem like it may be a decent introduction to the mythology should one care to delve further. I did however enjoy the book. It was fairly simple, very quickly read, and it's also book one, so the story will continue assuming I can remember and can find number two at the library.

The final book of the day is A Little House Traveler. It's a compilation of writing done by Laura Ingalls Wilder over a number of years. The first part of the book is her journal kept when she and husband Almanzo and daughter Rose left De Smet, Dakota Territory to move to the Ozarks. The next section of the book is letters, mostly from Laura to Almanzo and a few from Rose, written in 1915 when Laura went to San Francisco to visit Rose and her husband. Following that is the journal Laura kept in 1931 as she and Almanzo went back to visit family in De Smet.

I grew up reading Little House in the Big Wood, and as Big Brother's bedtime reading became mostly chapter books, we picked up the entire Little House series for ourselves. This book, based on the topic, was in my library stack as soon as I saw it. One of the main qualities of this book, in my opinion, is the view one gets of history as common life changes so much. Laura, Almanzo and Rose travel from De Smet in a covered wagon. This is nothing new to readers of the series as Laura has moved lots of places in a covered wagon. Her journey to San Francisco is on a train. The final journey in A Little House Traveler is by car.

I love to see the differences that Laura experienced throughout her life. I can't help when reading about Laura and Almanzo thinking back to their courtship with Manly in his sleigh taking Laura for rides during the winter, Manly building the wagon that took them to the Ozarks. Then in 1931, the couple is driving in a 1923 Buick. This book may not be as interesting to younger readers, and I don't really expect Big Brother to read it just yet. He might, and he may if he chooses to.

Any of these books would be fine for kids to read. They were all well written and interesting. The Laurence Yep book was just a fun read. The Watsons as a family seem like nice enough people, but their story, while mostly interesting, just fell apart at the end. I'm always a sucker for Laura and her family, so I'll generally always like their stories.

who'd a thunk it?

Yeah, it's Saturday, and I'm going to talk about soccer again. Actually, it's not really this time, but it's not not either. I did however wake up on time this morning, though it barely mattered in the end.

Our game was rained out today. The opposing coach called as we were walking out the door and said it was pouring at the fields. At our house the rain was sort of on and off. It's been like that the whole day since. We did drive to the fields anyway; it kind of seemed like we should. At this point, no games had been officially cancelled, though the option was left to coaches and parents. The one person from the team that we did see had already called us on the way out.

Driving west toward the fields, the sky over the ridge looked like we were driving into the night. It's not even that far from the house, ten to fifteen minutes outside of rush hour, and I could tell those clouds were sitting just past the ridge. We actually didn't really see the worst of it till we were almost at the fields. We got the call at that point that the U6 and U8 games had officially been cancelled as someone had finally contacted the director.

Momma took the team list from me and started calling families as we drove home. Only one family was home, and after getting two or three answering machines, she gave up. If they were still home, they didn't plan on leaving, and if they weren't home, our telling their machine not to go to the fields from which they were currently driving home wouldn't help.

Currently, from my window, the weather seems like near perfect soccer weather. There are different perfect kinds of days for soccer in my opinion, though this is as a player as opposed to viewer. While I might play in the wet, I prefer to keep my ass dry as a spectator.

The rain seems to have let up. The temperature outside is a little cool. It's cloudy enough that the little sun we might see shouldn't steam shit up as too often happens. I did recently see random sun that seemed really out of place in the mostly gray sky.

This is the kind of day where you get wet, and when you play like me, you get a little muddy. Everyone gets the splatter up the back of the shirt from running, and many of us get muddy knees. The mud and the wet grass are so much nicer to slide on too as the friction is much less.

It was on a day much like this that I had a particularly soccer moment. I slid across in front of an attacking player in our box, knocking the ball away, but the other team quickly regained possession. As I was standing back up, still squatting mostly, a shot came right past my face, and I took a face full of turf. It's a memorable moment because it was as if it were in slow motion. The player's foot flashed the shot, and as I watched several quarter sized pieces of grassy clumps shooting at me, I tried to dodge the barrage while trying to get in front of the shot, and soccer field doesn't taste very good.

If I had a dollar for every time balls flew at my face . . .

can't think of a rant obviously

But give me a few minutes, and I'll come up with something. For now I'm just going to talk about aches and poop.

Seriously, that's all I can come up with anymore. I'd like to think I typed up a couple of decent rants before I ran out of steam. So I won't be blogger of the year and find some way to get rich while talking about poop and roller derby. Dammit! That's what I had, the thin filament of dream that kept me going.

Well, other than the all star away match in Birmingham, the derby girls have yet to make their debut. If you lived around here, you could come out Sunday night and see the real league debut. The mighty Machine Gun Kellys further blacken the Black Bettys. I get to play half a game of soccer Sunday so that I can get home and clean in time to drive to the bruisin' the Bettys fest, but I'm sure I'll find a way to be okay about it.

Speaking of soccer, I don't really have anything to say. I'm going to assume that our Wednesday scrimmage opponents are going to be the U19 team that has worn us down the past two weeks. Add this past Wednesday two Mexican guys that helped fill out one side, and you get the beauty of Victor Ashe park soccer.

Big Brother was excited upon hearing that today is Friday because that means he has a game tomorrow. That of course means that I need to take the time tonight and figure out the game for tomorrow. I need to place my players each quarter so that I make sure they all play as much as possible while the time is equally distributed among each player. It's an early game, perhaps not early to farmers, but my heathen ass should not ever be up early enough for a 9:30 game.

Simpsons quotes

The quotes are from the John Waters episode. He plays a gay man who runs a store that specializes in camp. Homer of course, being so obtuse, doesn't get that John is gay until it's explained very plainly to him. He then freaks out and suddenly starts seeing signs that Bart is also gay. Homer then tries a number of ways to make Bart straight. So because they are funny, here are a couple of favorite quotes.

Bart-Dad, why did you bring me to a gay steel mill?

Of course this is when Homer takes Bart to the steel mill to show him "real men." It turns out to be a gay steel mill. It's just a great scene as Homer realizes he's completely surrounded by gay men and that one more of his attempts has utterly failed.

John Waters-Deer?! They won't find any deer around here. They all migrated North when the state parks converted to astro turf.

He says this when he hears of Homer's newest scheme to degayify Bart, killing a deer, because as everyone knows, only hetero men hunt.

Once upon a time, some distant past when Momma and I had more time or something, we started our own Simpsons library. Yes, we taped several VHS tapes worth of Simpsons episodes, sometimes even pausing to avoid commercials, often poorly. While searching through the cabinet of video tapes, Big Brother came across the Simpsons stash. This and Futurama have become his new late night viewing. We haven't read a book together in ages, but he has watched a lot of old Simpsons episodes.

roundabout link hopping

Going through my statcounter, I learned that once again my blog has been visited by someone searching my name. So, in the interest of interest, I clicked the search link to see who else showed up. This video was one of the hits, and I liked it so much I'm sharing it.

li'l woohoo

Slowly, so painfully slowly, The Boy is nearing using the potty. He does now on occasion use the potty, and he's getting better at pooping in the potty. He's almost three and a half, at which age Big Brother was well on his way to being diaper free.

I'm really proud of him for doing such a great job, and I'm happy that my frustration hasn't made the issue noticeably more painful. But I'm still tired of diapers. I'm ready personally for us to finally be diaper free as a family, but we still have to wait on The Boy to decide he's done with them.

But all signs point to us finally be getting to the end of diaper days. Oh those glorious days ahead when he finally stops wearing diapers and at long last he gets to wear the Thomas the Tank Engine underwear.

Again, li'l woohoo! We're on the way!

updating the soccer post

Anyone who read last week's soccer post will likely remember my hip concern. I left the game last Sunday when I made a move that caused my hip to feel as if the joint of thigh and hip was grinding. It hurt and caused concern for the Monday pain buffet. That however didn't happen. Monday came and went and I felt fine.

Well this week is the painstravaganza that I know so well.

Upon waking this morning, my first bad sign was my right shoulder. It even hurts to pick up my coffee cup. Next is the right knee, actually a little below the knee. I'm pretty sure that was a direct kick. Finally comes the left calf, a little low on the calf is a small knot that is likely another direct kick. The odd pain today is in my right wrist. It is likely from falling onto it, and it's very minor, but it is there.

As far as I know, that is the complete menu. There is always a chance that I'll find something else. The calf is a perfect example of certain types of injuries in that I didn't find it till I was putting socks on. There are those injuries that hurt with use of the affected area, and then are those that you notice by accident, and these are usually the small places, generally where someone hit or kicked me.

new week, same game

From my own experience I've found that the sports teams that most loudly lobby the ref about fouls are generally the most likely to actually commit the fouls. These same teams are often the ones most likely to dive trying to draw the foul yet again.

For anyone who doesn't know, a dive is intentionally falling down so that the ref will assume a foul has been committed against you. It's an illegal move and one that I've seen draw a yellow card.

Playing against the cheating/whining style team is very frustrating. One reason is that the cries of foul and the dives are often seen as real and fouls are called that weren't committed. Often the ref is just doing the best job he can, and I generally tend to trust refs are doing so, even if they call a few nonexistent fouls. But as a game progresses, a good ref will learn how the different players on the field play. He will see the fake fouls and the real fouls, but this isn't always the case. It wasn't the case today.

I'm not going to pretend that we lost today because of cheating or bad calls. The winning goal was scored off a free kick that happened due to a hand ball inside the box. That sucks, but at least it was a valid call. All goals scored were done legally and were not the result of cheating. I will complain some about the game I endured today.

Today's gripes: I was slapped and shoved pretty hard in the back several times. I was hit in the ribs. I was thrown to the ground. I even had some one's shoe right in my butt crack. I was kicked in the knees, and that's were tonight's pain is mostly centered.

A good physical game is a thing of beauty. Two teams with respect for the game, themselves and their opponents can play a rough, physically aggressive game without cheating, without hitting, without throwing people down. I know it can happen. I play aggressively, but I am strongly anti-cheating. To me, cheating is admitting that you aren't good enough.

So the cheating was mostly, in my opinion, a lack of respect for us and the game. We should have beaten this team, and with some better passing and shooting, we would have. We did this in spite of being knocked around and tripped. At one point, one of the opposing team was actually holding one of my team mates down after a slide tackle by pushing his head so that our player couldn't get up. The ref called the foul on our guy, said he was playing the ball from the ground. That's the kind of service we got from the ref today. He was more concerned about my foul language than calling the came correctly.

Oh well, next week we play the South team. I know one of their players as a grade A grumbler, the guy that sails balls ten feet over the goal and bitches about the grass. We'll beat them, and next week's soccer blog will be carefree and full of happy woohoos.